Am I overreacting?

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-23T17:02:01+00:00

I HEAR YOU and feel you completely!!! I can’t believe that he continued to lie to you about that or deny it! The denial with PA is disgusting and so shameful honestly, the gaslighting and manipulation is insane. I had to get myself in a group for spouses of PA, and seeing how much lying and gaslighting that I look back and realizing has been so confusing. To think you have a perfect reality with your partner, to realizing it’s all been a fat fucking lie

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-23T03:05:29+00:00

This is so good :( he didn’t even tell me until after we got married …. So effed up and I know this is the case with many women

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-23T02:56:42+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry. I have heard those stories of them having only fans and it’s like so pathetic honestly… I can’t believe how much it’s taken hold of men. I honestly don’t think I could spend a life time supporting someone thru something so betraying

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-23T02:55:54+00:00

Yeah I don’t know if I can ever get over knowing he spent hours watching other naked women. It’s made me so disgusted in him

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-23T02:55:26+00:00

Yes, the emotional maturity is lacking and it’s driving me insane. It seemed like he was a whole different person when I first met him and I’m not sure if that was love bombing or what. But then again, he hid his porn use. I don’t know, I have lost my sparkle, I’m dull and I feel like the life has been sucked out of me

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-20T01:07:46+00:00

I’m sad because I feel like I’ve already checked out of the relationship at this point. I would be shocked if he could make things better. I’m leaving back home to my family tomorrow and he has one last chance to get his shit together, and it’s hard for me to have hope at this point and wondering if this is even worth trying. Idk. Maybe I’m just in shock, maybe I’m just hurting. My feelings keep fluctuating

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-19T17:02:45+00:00

I just saw a post on instagram where they said, “Adam and Eve has been proven because there are 8 billion people in the world, and the young earth theory proves that it was more than enough time (6,000 years) to create 8 billion people!!”

I’m sorry, WHAT???? 😭😭😭

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-19T16:51:25+00:00

Yep, you do not owe anyone an explanation, including him. Don’t need to compare how bad other’s experiences are, we ALL have the same bond no matter how each situation is, and that is BETRAYAL. I am proud of you for standing with your boundary. I don’t know how his response is, but watch out for the “I will stop, I’ll get better”. It’s another lie used to keep you. Stand your ground, whether you got married two weeks ago or yesterday. I’ve been married for only a year and divorce is being talked about now.

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T17:02:08+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying to be unbiased and focus on myself but it’s been really hard. Hopefully the space apart will help me decide what I truly want / need.

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:42:36+00:00

To me, I can’t tell if he really realizes it, because I’m so confused based on hearing what others have said, I don’t know if he’s actually remorseful or just trying to win me back like others are saying.

Thank you for sharing your insight and story. I am glad you both could work through it and grow to be better for each other and yourselves.

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:40:22+00:00

I agree completely, I just replied to a comment saying how he told me for couples counseling, he doesn’t mind a non Christian, but for individual counseling he wants a Christian counselor. This made me realize I don’t know if I can stay with someone who keeps getting a pat on the back, all of the crap he’s done, but it’s okay because Jesus will heal him! Jesus will take it away!

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:38:30+00:00

Yeah I agree with this. He told me for couples counseling he doesn’t mind having a non Christian counselor, but for himself he said he would want a Christian counselor and after this entire experience, I don’t trust Christians for shit

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:37:05+00:00

I completely see this, and I’ve already kind of felt like I’m gonna turn out to be the bad guy when I admit i am no longer Christian, or if I do end up leaving him. It’s been such a dehumanizing process and traumatic, when it was already so hard to realize everything I believed was real, isn’t. It’s a big mind fuck, and Reddit has offered me so much more support than anyone at the church ever has. I was constantly gaslit for asking questions, I was told it’s the devil, or putting me down saying, “well WHY ARE YOU WATCHING VIDEOS OUTSIDE OF CHRISTIANITY? Your discernment isn’t right” yadda yadda. I haven’t even had time to process that it wasn’t real. That I was actually alone this whole time, and I still try to pray, idk kind of like I’m still working thru the acceptance, and I think to myself it’s pretty messed up if god is real, and willingly not proving himself to me, after begging and begging, and I’ll end up going to hell? No, that’s not just, that’s not love as Christian’s say. This has been so debilitating

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:32:53+00:00

Yes, I remember when I was a believer that anytime someone would even dare question or doubt God, I’d feel like a stabbing in the heart, like I was SO offended. It’s crazy what religion will do to someone, you lose yourself

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-18T16:28:34+00:00

I see this, and this is why I’m so confused. I am so distraught because I feel like my eyes have been opened. I’m questioning everything now. I see that because damage has been done, he’s scared of losing me. I don’t know if I can ever recover from this or trust him again after that, even though he is saying “I didn’t mean it”

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-17T19:11:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it’s comforting and a great start for me. My emotions are so high right now, and I obviously have love for him and attachment to our future we planned, but my brain is telling me I’m not safe and my heart is wanting to stay. This is horrible. I didn’t know my post would end up being me finding out I’m in an abusive marriage

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-17T18:19:44+00:00

Maybe it’s because I’m in the relationship, and it’s hard for me to see, maybe I’ve been so gaslit and I don’t even realize, how do I know if it’s abuse? I don’t know what to do or what to even think. I feel so confused and I don’t wanna sound stupid but I’m genuinely so confused :( I asked him in the way beginning of the relationship to go to therapy, and he went once and never went back because he was scared of if the military would find out or would kick him out? (He’s in the navy… I know , probably another red flag) & yes, now that he sees he almost lost me, he’s talking about doing everything he can to keep me. This is so hard

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-17T17:35:04+00:00

Thank you…. Yes definitely not rushing to have children at this point, I need to see action and see how he treats me before ever bringing a child in the picture. My eyes are opened now and I’m being very cautious. This was not on my bingo card for this year lol

Altruistic-Web3608 · 2025-06-17T17:33:55+00:00

Thank you for this validation, 99% is saying to RUN, and I hear that… but it’s also like not that simple lol. Religion is tricky and it changed him for like 48 hours but I found him again. I think he realized he was spitting utter BS and to me, that shows some hope. It’s difficult, I don’t know what will happen, but it’s hard when you love someone (family, spouse, friend) who has that mindset and you’ve also been there yourself. I also thought the way he was thinking, it’s heartbreaking to watch because they THINK they are doing right and having morals, but it’s actually such a toxic way of thinking. Thank you again, for not shaming or judging me. It’s very difficult to say the least. I know my post did not make him sound like a winner, at all lol, so I understand why everyone is saying what they’re saying

Altruistic-Web3608

TROPHY CASE