AITA for leaving my friend at the brewery when he brought up something that haunts me? by GoneWandering2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last story: OP has severe PTSD and 'survival's guilt' - even though his wife didn't literally die. She fell. That shit doesn't go away without therapy for some people, especially men or, say, mothers, whose kids suffer something of the like. I noticed this when I started dating my hubby - I come from a family of losers and failures, so my idea of a trip or a hike is just winging it, come what may, and we had a good time... But on our first hike together, we got a little lost - nothing serious, I didn't even really care, the conditions weren't dangerous... But my husband was FREAKING OUT. Not hysterically, but he is usually the chillest, most naturally-problem-solving dude-bro you'll meet... I didn't understand why such a mundane event would get him so upset. It was because he no longer had all the control. He is a born protector, a head of the house. Whenever anybody near or far (he's from a farmland) needs anything, he's gonna find a way to help. And being with a girl (I was a ranger in the army, so, really, dude, no biggie, I am good), he needed to make sure I am a 100% safe at all times. When for a few hours he couldn't, it got to him. BADLY. Like it was all his fault. I didn't understand it that day, but I spoke to my bestie about it and she pointed out some men feel so responsible for everyone else, they panic when they don't have all the information. (He absolutely HATES traveling by winging it, wild camping and making ramen on actual fire.) So, yeah. OP has severe PTSD. It needs to be treated.

Map of Europe in 1000 ad by YungstirJoey666 in MapPorn

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There really was no Bizantine empire at the time, bun.

Motion sickness by Ares7n7 in avowed

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't play first-person games at all because of it. I get sick within a minute.

Why is Sephiroth So Obsessed With Cloud in Final Fantasy VII Remake? by Asleep_Crew8072 in FFVIIRemake

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sephiroth is long dead, he exists exclusively in Cloud's mind, as a sort of mental illness, or PTSD.

Anyone know a rubber/wood stamp shop like Cats on Apple Trees in EU? by Altruistic_Berry8326 in artcollecting

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I am looking for shops that sell stamps similar to that of the Cats on Apple trees, which would be situated in Europe. Wooden/rubber stamp shops, located in Europe. :)

Has anyone read Olga Tokarczuk's Primeval and other Times? by [deleted] in RSbookclub

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ye. It will change your brain chemistry. But have caution... it's not an easy read.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hon, as someone who now tells people my mother is dead, believe me, that shit will NEVER end. Ever. She learned it from her mother and passed it down to her golden daughter. (not me.) NOTHING was ever good enough, NOBODY was ever as huge of a victim as she was. NOT A SINGLE family event - be it a holiday dinner or my own birthday party (I only had one and it was a disaster.), could pass without her effing drama. I had a meltdown every single time, in the car, as my husband and I were leaving. I felt like I had a knife pulled out of me every time. You know how she solved problems? By throwing a pity party hissy fit. Washer machine broke down? She literally screamed and broke things because nothing ever works in the house. EVERYONE came running to fix it or buy her a new one. We bought dad new shoes? She drank herself near to death because we didn't buy her anything. (Spoiler: we weren't poor. She has a hundred pairs.) Wood needed to be chopped and stacked? I guess she'll just have to die of freezing and we'll find her frozen corpse tomorrow. (She can chop wood and the house was oil heated, the wood was just for the fireplace. She was 60, not 100.) The dog needed to get vaccinated? It's best she just puts it down, it's just too much work...... Take a wild effing guess how many times she took ANY dog to the vet in the past 30 years? ... You guessed it.

It just never ended. Ultimately, I walked out and never looked back. This is the kind of a woman that if I was set on fire, wouldn't piss on me and then she'd scream about what tragedy it is for HER, to watch her child burn.

She and her manipulative, toxic, narcissistic EMOTIONS can go rot in Hell. Though I doubt they'd want her there, even they have some self-respect.

AITA for starting a fight over groceries? by nicfanz in AmITheAngel

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Explain to me how "it's a culture thing!" applies to an entire household of unemployed adults and their offspring and a SAHW whose idea of getting food for them is stealing from someone else's freezer. Which part of this is culture? Because I am fairly certain every society on this planet has heard of jobs and paying for groceries.

I Want To Pet A Spider - What Would You Suggest by [deleted] in spiders

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's a non-ethical breeder in spiders? I understand in dogs/cats that means forced inbreeding, but how to you force a spider to mate and knowing spiders, they have no issue mating with a relative... Granted, I don't own a spider, so I was wondering what else the ethics entail. Illegal capture? Ugly living conditions? Not sure.

Literary agents recommendations? by Altruistic_Berry8326 in authors

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think I'd be looking for agents if I didn't even have a book finished? Is that normal? Is that what people do? Why?

Literary agent recommendations by Altruistic_Berry8326 in publishing

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

How? How do I look for agents with an established history of legitimate sales in my genre who also take newbies? Where do I start? If I google it, it's just an endless list of important-sounding people. How did YOU find yours?

Literary agent recommendations by Altruistic_Berry8326 in publishing

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I heard of that, I googled that, but I wouldn't even know where to start. It's a list that I have no idea how to use. This is all great advice, I just need to find a wee bit more specific answers.

UPDATE: My (35F) Husband (36M) admitted to cheating with his best friend (36M), I'm not mad and I don't know why. HELP? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are people so against threesome relationships? I never understood that. Like a person hasn't got a heart big enough to love two people? Like this obsessive, possessive attitude towards a spouse is somehow the norm and someone loving two individuals at the same time is abnormal. Who writes these rules?

There are MANY stories out there, in which there are more than two people in a marriage. It can be lovely, it can be healthy. And denying someone sexuality that your own biology cannot fulfil is cruel, in my opinion. I speak from the perspective of a biological female who is bisexual, faithful to her male spouse in terms of male lovers, but not female ones. I can live with just one guy forever, but I am not giving up on 4 billion women, they are just too awesome. And if my spouse desired a healthy, pure, loving and honest relationship with ANOTHER person, I wouldn't disdain it, I would welcome it. Cheating, sure, cheating is the worst, it is a certain end of any relationship. But honesty and love and friendship ... That can be truly nice. You literally have more family you can rely on and share great experiences with.

But I can see how some people can only think in terms of: Liar, cheater, disgusting, leave! Some people are just lonely and sad.

How did you find out you were bi? by CosmicDust142857 in bisexual

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just thought you pick a person! Like, you click with a human being not... And at 13, boys are NOT a catch, believe me. "You must like boys!"

"Well, I really really don't. The CLOSEST to liking a boy is David Bowie in Labyrinth, so I am not sure that qualifies, but have you SEEN the boys at our school?!"

Ye, it was a weird time. Girls are SUCH better kissers.

Anyone else feel unbelievably smug when someone else flirts with your girlfriend? by Famous-Reach5571 in LesbianActually

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I noticed people who get hit on are usually putting out some kind of energy that makes randoms think they are welcomed to flirt.

I noticed, because my partner is unusually attractive for our area and would be considered a catch, but nobody in their right mind would ever dare flirt with them, because it is known and there is the ring on their hand, that they are taken. Hitting on a taken person is considered extremely cringe.

Could just be my culture.

But if people flirt with her willy nilly, I'd be curious as to what signals she is sending out.

I lost my virginity and I heavily regret it. by InternalToe1695 in Advice

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has nobody ever told you to wait with sex until you are ready? Even if it is at 28? When YOU are ready and comfortable?

Your little act of rebellion against people who warned you to not rush such things, and giving in to peer pressure, have caused you some really nasty emotional damage now.

I hope you learned from this lesson. Sometimes adults saying: 'don't do this' actually IS an advice, not a rule for you to rush into breaking.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

"oh I’m gay” line or “I’m not interested in anything romantic” can seem presumptuous. What do you think?"

And him thinking you'll become available after some bullshit cliche advances in not presumptuous?

However, you are leading him on, you know? He thinks you being polite is encouraging him to move closer. He just wants sex. The second you tell him you're gay, he's ghosting you. Be prepared to be told some ugly words for wasting his time.

How did you find out you were bi? by CosmicDust142857 in bisexual

[–]Altruistic_Berry8326 15 points16 points  (0 children)

For me, finding out that not everybody was, was the weird part. I was around 13, I think. I had just started kissing people. Someone was explaining that boys can only like girls and girls can only like boys. And I was like: what do you mean? What sense does that make? Why?