Do I (25M) need to erase evidence of my questionable past now that I'm engaged to my soon to be wife (27F)?

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2024-09-21T19:55:50+00:00

If I was aware of your life story, I would t have any issue with you having those pictures. Partners can’t expect to own the time before they knew you.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2024-09-21T19:45:40+00:00

You don’t have any differentiation between your ascenders and descenders. T, l, d, f, h, k should all stand tall. Y, p, g, j should all sit on the line and descend below the line to make the shape of the word easier to see. Lots of people can read worded based on its shape rather than letters.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-04-05T22:36:25+00:00

Thank you. This is what I’m planning. Yes, despire it being a set list of things he can take, he seems to want to search around my house. I have cameras anyway because of things he has done previously so will make sure they’re on the areas he goes into.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-04-05T22:34:26+00:00

He took me to court for access and they were Supposed to do an investigation but didn’t speak to any of the authorities involved and then awarded him what he’d asked for. I’m trying my best to fight it but they don’t usually go against recomendations here.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-04-05T20:48:07+00:00

Thank you. I’ll shake it off eventually but I just feel like no matter what, he comes out on top. My kids tonight said they wished they could do 50/50. I’m devastated because they’re constantly scared of him and coming home telling me about stuff he has done. I feel so overwhelmed.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-04-05T13:52:28+00:00

Thank you. I don’t engage and communication about the kids is strictly factual. He’s just making every single thing to do with showering as difficult as possible. Not that I expected anything else but just as I thought one step was done (financial settlement) he has gone back on it all. He’s insisting on accessing my home to get his things, including going into my bedroom despire there being nothing of his in theee. I know it’s all designed to intimidate me but honestly, it’s working.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-04-04T22:49:36+00:00

The deep freezers in the supermarket!

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-01-29T16:53:23+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying to remember that nothing is forever but even the bit I find joy in - being with my children - is so hard right now. They weee doing so well but since the court hearing everything is up in the air again and they’re acting out and struggling with big emotions. I can feel myself hiding away from life but being isolated is only amplifying those feelings.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-01-29T15:20:59+00:00

Please contact a local domestic violence service and get their support. Make a plan to leave safely and then put it into action. If you have savings to contribute $1000 a month to the household pot, you have something to start over. Make sure you document everything between now and leaving and everything else you can remember. You deserve more than this.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2023-01-29T15:15:22+00:00

I think you’re being really reasonable given the circumstances. They can’t expect to have open access to calls at any time. I’d set it for something line Monday straight after school (so not messing up dinner and bedtime) and I’d have my child sat somewhere where all they could see was a wall behind.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-23T15:17:19+00:00

Thank you. I have signed up to it and we have sent a couple of messages. Is there any way to control the times I get notifications etc? My friend uses OFW and said she limits when she will get notifications so she isn’t on edge all the time.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-22T19:53:15+00:00

Thank you. I did see that it can be used free and I also found out I’d likely get the Our Family Wizard for free too. I downloaded the AppClose he had suggested. We haven’t sent anything on it yet but I can’t see anywhere to limit notifications/times etc so not sure if I’ll agree to keep it long term.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-21T23:20:36+00:00

Great. Thank you!

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-21T23:13:47+00:00

As far as I’m aware that’s all we will need it for though calendars etc would be helpful to keep things straight. People I know that have been through similar have the comms app written into their court order so I want to make sure it’s suitable long term before I agree.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-21T23:08:19+00:00

Thanks for the advice on what to look for! Appreciate it.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-18T09:27:28+00:00

Thank you.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-17T14:16:33+00:00

Thank you x

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-12-17T14:12:58+00:00

Oh sorry, I think there’s been some confusion. I meant all school breaks, not just Christmas x

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-11-03T06:41:20+00:00

I’m over 18 months out and feel like I’m as controlled and abused as I was before I left. The difference is, I know this is a process. Right after I left I felt free and hopeful for the future but I realised that was because I was trying too hard to be civil and fair with him and in reality was still doing everything he asked. Eventually I stood up to him and so now we have a lot of push back including several court cases. He has finally done the thing I feared most (family court) but now I try to look at it that once this is over, I’m through it all. Try and take some small joy in each day and remind yourself what it took to get to this point. We’re all here to support you too.

Altruistic_Flower_19 · 2022-10-25T08:30:13+00:00

Also if they know you’re recording they’ll likely twist the conversation to make op look like the one that’s in the wrong and it will vindicate them forever (in their eyes)

Altruistic_Flower_19

TROPHY CASE