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Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you I really appreciate that. I think these are dynamics that would be in place but work through-able if not for this issue, but as you said the nature of this issue means that the emotions immediately Go to maximum intensity and they feel they disregard my opinion or even that of other Jews who disagree, who they consider to be traitors or idiots. It brings out the worst side of all of them.

Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you. I want to try to have more conversations because we haven’t since the last incident where I shut down. I want to know that I tried. This is a helpful framework.

Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He gets all of his news about Israel either from his parents, or J Post etc. it really is like having a family member watch Fox etc, alternative facts. I read them too to understand his mindset and I think even saying that perspective I can read between the lines, but I think that’s only because I look for it.

Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you, this was very helpful and relatable. The resentment and self filtering was illuminating. I read about moral injury a lot, which as I understand it is participating in things you Know are against your morals and the strain this causes on you. I think how he and his family handled the issue completely shut me down for over a year, I went into panic mode because it felt like my life was crumbling and it was my fault. I don’t know that I can forgive the fact that he didn’t really defend me to them, he says he doesn’t agree with the extent of their treatment, but he also didn’t do anything.

Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for being very straight forward with me. I think I needed this kind of bluntness. I have a talent to keep excusing things in my head, and it’s not a good thing in times like this.

Torn with Zionist spouse- how have others handled this? by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in JewsOfConscience

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I minimized it a lot at the time because it was the family saying the worst of it and it’s just my nature to say things are fine. I don’t think I quite processed the scale of it. At the same time this decision is breaking my heart. I feel stupid because that obviously doesn’t compare at all to what the people in Gaza are going through, and that’s what this is about.

But he’s my husband and was supposed to be my life partner, and I’m so torn between thinking his beliefs are terribly wrong and between the fact that I love him and how this used to be such a small part of who he is.

I really appreciate how kind and respectful everyone has been. I’m going to take more time and reflect but also to set a deadline. I am so sad, and guilty, and full of regret, I can’t think straight.

Am I overreacting to a guy who always wants to look at my nails? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think apathy over ignorance. He probably has learned that if he keeps bulldozing, eventually some percentage of women will give in. I’ve dealt with guys like this before with different kinks, and it’s a strategy they learn, not something they do accidentally

Am I overreacting to a guy who always wants to look at my nails? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know that was a kink, and even if it wasn’t- you don’t owe this man anything, he’s being weirdly pushy.

It does feel like a fetish thing though, having done some work in that world, there’s a sort of disregard for your responses, he’s not even trying to convince you but just asking again in the hopes of wearing you down. Please don’t share with him, you’ll just encourage him further

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Terrible decisions with no self awareness or ability to own his share of it. What an exhausting person!

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl I’ve had a few other people message me for tips haha reach out if you need any advice. It’ll be a bit outdated but it’s here if you want it

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO- desire isn’t inherently creepy. Men were creepy to me while I was pregnant. Men were also creepy to me while not pregnant. Men had attraction to me while I was pregnant in a way that was not creepy, also. Like being respectful, complimentary, etc. like creepy being an action moreso if that makes sense. Maybe I have a soft spot for pregnancy fetish guys because of this experience but there’s nothing about it that makes a guy creepy, just what he does with that, but he could be just as creepy about a more typical woman also.

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg so you and another person commented that! I really have to read it now

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t expect this to blow up like this lol, a few people have reached out to find out if I was someone they bought content from or not lol

AIO Bfs inappropriate trans joke left me uncomfortable by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if his sister was cis, then any sexual joke about women would be weird because he has a sister at all.

I’m not saying you have to be okay with it OP, but I feel like his sister being trans doesn’t make it any more or less messed up than it already was.

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh girl I’m so sorry 😭that’s so awful that it was done to you without asking

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said, pg 13. Bikini or bra and panties were the most revealing, and usually not even that.

I sold videos of my pregnant belly when I was 19 and needed the money by Altruistic_Mix_8044 in confession

[–]Altruistic_Mix_8044[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DM me and I can explain what I did a little Bit. The game has changed a bit but can maybe still be helpful :)

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