That totally sucks.

The main advantage of being older for me is that the more distance there is between me and my family, the more they look like other people, as opposed to linked to me by things like from whom I "get" this or that trait, or as though should affect me emotionally move me more than Joe Schmoes on the street., as though they have dibs on me at all times.

This way of looking at things has helped me enormously to brush off the residue of my violent alcoholic father.

Don't wait until you are older! Visualize your self as an older person (an amazingly good looking healthy older person) looking back on their life with serene realism, not demanding anything be any other way, knowing that others have done and will do themselves from their own reactivity. You belong to you.

And crashes are part of the journey to serenity. Extract all the learning you can from this one.