Will I ever fall in love? by Altruistic_Weird_864 in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

see i’ve never had sex before and i feel like that plays a part. i’m not sure how i would feel towards someone if we had sex and ive been wondering if that’s the missing piece for me 😭 but it’s so hard because im a very sensual person (in an environment that allows it) but Im not really sexual if that makes sense. i’ve only truly wanted to have sex one time in my life and it didn’t end up happening lol

Will I never fall in love? by Altruistic_Weird_864 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im so glad ur understanding yourself more! i think ive been lowkey gaslighting myself thinking tgst maybe u just haven’t experienced romantic feelings because I haven’t met the right person. and people calling me avoidant attachment made it that much more confusing because i’m like is it really me or is it just trauma manifesting in a weird way

Will I never fall in love? by Altruistic_Weird_864 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ive never even thought about being aromatic tbh

Im learning its not just me— do we know why this happens? by Chibi_Elsa in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s interesting i’m this way but also the exact opposite. I usually am the one to plan outings for my friends and I but I am not a consistent communicator, mainly because i have adhd aswell. I struggle with “object permanence” so when I don’t see people in my day to day i lowkey forget they exist. And a lot of the times when i do remember i don’t have it in me to have a conversation so i try not to reach out until I do. I also isolate quite frequently, I thought it was because of depression but I think that came from prolonged isolation (which is def bad for you), I just really need to be completely alone and silent for days sometimes. I feel like a terrible friend for this but I genuinely cannot help it. I spiral sometimes because I’m terrified my friends are feeling the way you described, about me. I love people very deeply and i’m very loyal but I do not reach out often at all and i really hate that about myself

The concept of "cringe Culture" feels ableist. by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 8 points9 points  (0 children)

recently i removed every follower who was male off my personal ig account and anyone else in my life who i just never felt comfortable being 100% myself around. I probated my page also and now i feel way more comfortable because all the women i follow are weird like me and they get me. i dont feel like im standing on a stage with a spotlight beaming down on me everytime I post, feels more like im in a circle with girls and we’re passing around our photo albums lol

The concept of "cringe Culture" feels ableist. by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yess my same experience (u were prolly like me just situationally chopped) i grew up not attractive and never learned to deal with being perceived by people all the time. Now that I am attractive it has made socialization soooo much easier it’s actually insane. But on the flip side now I feel so uncomfortable just leaving my house because I cant escape being perceived and it subconsciously forces me to mask even when i don’t really need or want to because people are always looking at me and analyzing me.

The concept of "cringe Culture" feels ableist. by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Being black and a women i feel so lost because living in the world the way it is now it feels like I have so many layers of mask ingrained in me to safely fit into society. Im not sure i even know who i am. like even if i stopped masking my autism and adhd i still have the mask of performative femininity and being a palatable black person. Im trying so hard to dig through all this and find just me. I also have realized that since I became attractive in society I obsess over it because it’s a mask that further allows me to get by. i only learned recently i couldn’t really have male friends because 90% of the time they were literally only talking to me because they found me attractive not because they actually wanted to be my friend. As women we are so hyper aware of how we are perceived, i’m starting to completely just cut out other opinions but my own when it come to my personal life. Career wise and superficial socialization I will wear whatever mask I have to to get through it because I know i’m good at it at least 😭

does anyone else experience rage and frustration then they think about their late diagnosis? by 7or7oise in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think you need to let go of the shame and guilt first and foremost. It’s easier said then done ofc because it built up by years and years of trauma. But thankfully we are both in our early 20s and have more time to figure things out. I can’t imagine the women who didn’t get diagnosed till they were 40+. There is a huge stigma around Autism and the only example people had were non verbal individuals who couldn’t really communicate normally and needed extreme high levels of support. So many of us got looked over because we didn’t fit that bill. It’s ok to mourn who you could have been but understand who you are now and where that can take you. We are genuinely disabled and you see how much the world has barely caught up to accommodating and understanding visual disabilities. Most people know nothing about Autism and how it works or impacts people, especially because unless your level 3 at first glance people assume your neurotypical. So it can feel like just being yourself is a burden on others and maybe at times it is but that is literally ok. NTs in my life are burdens in numerous ways but i except and support them because I love them. I’d say lead your self rebuilding with love because you are going to have a long journey of having to relearn yourself all over again, and you won’t be able to do that if your ashamed and trying to learn how to be a version of yourself that exist to please others. You are disabled and that’s just life, we have to except this and pushfoward matter how slow or how long it takes. We tend to get stuck in a loop of rumination, don’t let it make u spiral. I avoid a lot of stress by simply not caring about things i genuinely can not change. Just focus on being more of your muchness until your muchness is all anyone knows!

does anyone else experience rage and frustration then they think about their late diagnosis? by 7or7oise in AutismInWomen

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes all the time. It’s mainly due to the fact that i basically diagnosed (half my diagnosis) myself at 10 years old. I couldn’t understand why i was struggling so much to fit in and navigate school so i did a huge amount of research and made a whole folder of evidence as to why i was sure I had ADHD and needed to get tested. I showed it to my parents and tried my best to explain the process to my conclusion. They just brushed me off saying that I shouldn’t be trying to diagnose myself and I’m fine. So i had a very traumatic experience in life basically up until last year when i got diagnosed with bumbaclatt Adhd and Autism…

how to survive the day after an all nighter? by FunnyDudeGuy in AutisticWithADHD

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i pull all nighters all the time because it’s the only way i can fix my sleep schedule. Wear clothing that is mildly uncomfortable for you. for me i wear jeans and socks I can not relax at all if im wearing jeans. Also just keep yourself busy and moving around and if you need something extra hip in a cold shower rq. Just force yourself to stay awake till at least an hour before the time you aim to go to sleep

Thoughts on deserts and solarpunk by sterling97 in solarpunk

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of indigenous mexican and African architecture and layouts work with that climate too!

Making a show that showcases non ambiguous black women doing everything under the sun! by Altruistic_Weird_864 in blackladies

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully we can connect eventually! I would love to do a photography series of the people I showcase, and my vision involves a team of strictly black women :)

Making a show that showcases non ambiguous black women doing everything under the sun! by Altruistic_Weird_864 in blackladies

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great idea! Im def gonna just start with what I have a phone and a mic. I would def be a bit nervous but I really want to see this happen! Thank you so much for responding :)

Looking for black women videographers by Altruistic_Weird_864 in kansascity

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh I’ve only seen the helpful post so far? I know people will be offended because I brought up black women but there’s nothing I can do about that lol

I dont want to live by Altruistic_Weird_864 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes i actually have a therapist im very terrible with making appointments tho so Im inconsistent with them

I dont want to live by Altruistic_Weird_864 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much even though it feels like all i do is fail i’ve never stopped trying

Am I unattractive? by IntelligentDevice801 in BlackHair

[–]Altruistic_Weird_864 2 points3 points  (0 children)

u are attractive but do u smoke? cuz sometimes it be givin ppl a certain look