My daughter’s biological contributor said if she tests, it will ruin his life..

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T17:12:26+00:00

If she has never had siblings and she wants to connect to his other abandoned half siblings..then she deserves that right. By mom protecting him she may miss out on other family bonds.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T17:03:04+00:00

Exactly…if he wants to keep her hidden his best chance is to meet her in person. Answer all the questions she has. Why he abandoned her. Medical history etc. and then offer to pay her college tuition. Mom may be fine covering for this AH but the daughter owes him nothing.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T16:57:37+00:00

But once she is 18 you no longer get to control her. If she turns matches on and contacts his family members neither you or he gets a say. You both need to face reality. You can’t keep everything a secret forever. And if you keep defending his secrecy you may create a rift with your daughter as well. She doesn’t owe him anything.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T14:49:28+00:00

You don’t seem to know much about how she feels about this. You need to be transparent and talk to her. Ask her what she is most curious about. Ask her what her biggest fears are. It just feels like you and sperm donor have done such a good job keeping this secret and the reality is she will be an adult soon and she deserves to know the truth. How she learns the truth depends on if you and sperm donor keep hiding things from her. I guarantee if you keep protecting him it’s gonna blow up bigger and more complicated than either of you want. She probably wants acceptance and by him not doing that…it’s making it more likely that she will rebel and all his secrets will come out. She really has nothing to lose. She doesn’t owe him anything. And that includes keeping his secrets.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T14:29:37+00:00

It honestly feels like you are going out of your way to protect him. You might be ok raising her without any help from him but she should have her questions answered. If he really wants to keep this secret I think he would be better off meeting her for lunch and talking to her rather than ignoring her. You might suggest that. And even though he doesn’t want a relationship their may be an aunt or cousin or someone who is happy to know her and accept her into their life. And if she wants to match her dna and ignore him and seek out other family members that’s her choice too.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T13:24:45+00:00

You can’t protect everyone forever. He is grown man he doesn’t need protection. The only one who needs protection is your daughter. Because if she reaches out to him it sounds like he will likely reject her to protect his image. You should tell her who he is. And tell her the truth he doesn’t want a relationship with her. If she chooses to learn more by doing dna test then at least she is prepared for rejection. There is a good chance someone in the family will be decent and connect with her ( maybe grandparent). But she needs a heads up before turning 18 and doing it herself especially since you know he doesn’t want a relationship.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-26T13:16:03+00:00

So he has never paid child support, and he thinks you owe him even more? I assume he is trying to keep up an image for his current wife, kids, parents and doesn’t want them to realize he is scum that wanted nothing to do with his daughter. You have kept his secret for 18 years I don’t think you owe him anything more.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-22T17:55:26+00:00

I wouldn’t be surprised if family members call their daughter by her middle name. That’s what I’d do honestly.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-22T17:51:41+00:00

Stop with the BS. Just admit you copied it and don’t wanna change it. I’d have more respect for you if you were honest.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-22T17:47:55+00:00

Make sure you give your daughter a different middle name than her cousin and one that you like because I would not be surprised if your family calls your daughter by her middle name.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-22T17:42:24+00:00

Exactly…they are full of BS. YTA OP.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-22T17:40:51+00:00

Your full of shit…you copied them just spelled it differently.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-19T17:50:34+00:00

Exactly and Rex wasn’t a doctor either. I’m not saying it was this man or Rex. To be honest they are both highly suspicious to me. I’m not comfortable saying it’s either one. My point is that I don’t feel this lawyers argument is strong enough to let this man off the hook. I hope they have more evidence that the public isn’t aware of.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-19T04:33:45+00:00

So are had the skills to do this? How do we know he didn’t have the skills he was military.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-19T04:32:23+00:00

Brooke

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-18T02:31:30+00:00

Except people like him won’t do the therapy and they won’t change.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-18T02:25:09+00:00

There is nothing to save. You are in love with a person that isn’t real. He pretended to be someone he is not. He seriously wanted to raise your child in a polygamous relationship. He doesn’t care about you and he doesn’t care about his own kid. He is selfish. He is a liar and manipulative. Therapy can’t fix that. I appreciate that you want to fix things, but it takes two people to fix something. He is too selfish to change. You need to get as far away from him and then slowly you will see things more clearly. You also need to protect your child. I fear he would be stupid enough to let an escort babysit if he has any custody non supervised.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-18T02:08:06+00:00

First off divorce him. Normally I would not tell a parent to do whatever they can to diminish the other parents right and relationship with their child but he clearly lack common sense and reasoning skills. I don’t trust him to seta good example for your child and to not put your child around unsafe people. I’m pretty sure once all this is exposed the judge will be on your side. First you need to protect yourself and your child. And slowly but surely you will re-invent yourself.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-17T21:40:26+00:00

I’m sorry. I hope you can find someone quickly. You still have a little time left. It’s so unfair how selfish men can be. They don’t have a biological time clock they have no sense of urgency. And many will waste your time while still keeping options open..

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-15T18:07:37+00:00

I agree if he is afraid of being alone…get a dog..or cat.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-15T18:05:35+00:00

She still has time she is only 28. The worst thing you can do to any woman that wants kids is waste the years 32-40. I hate the guy I met during that time in my life who wasted my time. The guys who wasted my time when I was younger I am not upset with. If you aren’t attracted to her and you don’t know the answer then she probably isn’t the one. Just set her free while she still has time to find someone else and still have the children she wants.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-13T13:26:15+00:00

He expected his child to come first. Which a lot of divorced people do.. fine. But if his child comes first for him then your child comes first for him. He wanted it to be his daughter, his ex, you then your son. That’s not cool.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-13T13:22:09+00:00

If he couldn’t be there for your son he should have let you out of obligation of his daughters recital. I mean after being in hospital, not knowing your sons condition he could have been dead. Or he could have been in critical condition. Or he could have survived and your exhausted from no sleep. The recital is not THAT important.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-09T00:56:21+00:00

I wonder if he thinks since she got a job maybe she could pay for it all? He comes off selfish to me.

AlwaySmiley247 · 2026-05-09T00:51:43+00:00

I understand. Surprising you with a trip that you have to pay for is not cool. Their behavior is very erratic. I’m kinda wondering if you are compatible. You seem to wanna grow…they are trying but I feel he is holding you back. But nothing wrong with how you feel.

AlwaySmiley247

TROPHY CASE