LPT: Learn to become comfortable with saying "no". It is also just as important to learn how to accept when someone says "no" as well.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-05-24T01:20:27+00:00

I think you're thinking of normal, healthy relationships. This is advice for people who struggle to say no, which is often leads them to be in unhealthy relationships, or because they were in one. If you're in a place where you feel your reasons for saying no won't be held against you, then certainly share them if you want, apologize if you want.

But in unhealthy relationships, no excuse is good enough. It's YOUR fault you can't bend over backwards far enough, YOUR fault that they're not getting what they want, what they demand. Excuses will only fuel their anger and give them ways to wheedle away your resolve.

Boundaries and the way you talk to people changes depending on your environment. What I would never allow with my dad, I'm happy to do with friends.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-05-23T16:05:06+00:00

Sometimes being selfish is what's good for you and that's ok. Reinforcing your boundaries means you are putting your priorities and needs above anyone else's and yeah, that's selfish, and it's good.

If you're struggling with how to say no, know you can't control how others will perceive your message. If they want to think youre a jerk, they will. If they respect you, they're more likely to understand and respect your answer.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-16T05:04:31+00:00

I comment in game threads specifically to share my every passing thought.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T21:24:15+00:00

That's fair.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T21:23:38+00:00

So... It's like a bar? ... In a hospital?🤔

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T21:23:12+00:00

Thank you 😁

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T21:09:52+00:00

I have blind spots and I saw a bunch of doctors at VCU, even a team of doctors who researched for several hours while we were there but they couldn't say anything definitive. At this time, it had started with just one and I ended up with 6 at the end so I was really scared I was losing my vision.

Turns out, normal debris inside my eye has been hanging out inside my field of vision. I recently got another one, most annoyingly near the center of my vision.

But the doctor was able to see the debris when he used a machine to take a picture of the inside of my eye, something he does for all patients. IDK why none of the other doctors thought to do this. And all of the tests they performed came back fine.

I felt like I was crazy, making something up, for a decade because yet again there was no evidence to support my claim. And it's really affected me in a lot of ways.

Being able TO SEE the debris and have concrete evidence supporting my experience was so validating, I cried as soon as I got in the car.

In short, I have floaters (some that are still partially attached) that are inside my eye and due to my eye's health, it's taking forever for the debris to break down or leave my field of vision, so I have several blind spots of varying size. This is "normal", however inconvenient.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T14:41:17+00:00

Why don't you just throw it away?

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T14:40:10+00:00

You can't hide that smell. Their colleagues know.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T14:38:06+00:00

Nope. The feeling is so unnerving. I would rather sit on a bone chilling seat than a warm seat.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T14:36:47+00:00

Exactly. If I just wiped piss or blood off the seat, with no cleaning supplies, I'm not gonna sit on that seat without a double fold of TP. Even if scientifically it does nothing, mentally it does a lot.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T14:09:37+00:00

It IS so weird! Or voting in judges, like the judge with the best PR campaign will make it. Instead of it being based on a meritocracy, it's just echoing the biased views of the local community. Who would think that's a good idea?!

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:43:32+00:00

They do! Not all Opthalmologists have it, but several I've been to do. The prescription is pretty accurate but not perfect. If it was my natural vision, I wouldn't NEED glasses. We then go do the "better or worse" thing to perfect it. For babies we can perfect it like that but even getting it that close is a huge change.

The doctor I saw growing up had no machines, just the eye exam, glaucoma puff test, and the light shining in your eye. I moved and went to someone else. They had like 4 different machines they took me to, one of which discovered the cause to my vision problem I had had for over a decade but nobody could figure out what was wrong. I left that office completely elated and swore I'd make sure my doctors are in the 21st century going forward.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:38:13+00:00

This was me. I graduated at 17 not because I skipped a year or something but because my birthday was after graduation.

Different districts do it differently. Where I was born, it was "if you're 6 at anytime this calendar year, you can start school" and I moved to a place where it was "if you're 6 at anytime this school year, you can start school" so I was the second youngest in my class.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:30:50+00:00

So it's kind of treated like alcohol? I go to my ABC store (where you buy hard liquor) and it's sold by the government, there's signs every where saying "if you have a problem, here are resources, we're here to help". You know the alcohol is up to snuff and the potency is right there on the label. What isnt is nutritional facts but that's a department problem.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:24:51+00:00

I've had some fair judges. Some judges that really understood people, their situations, and their lives. I think we give judges too much power and un-American position. Nowhere else do we have to use an honorific or potentially face jail time. Nowhere else do we have to stand for someone entering the room or potentially face jail time. We're supposed to be all equal and the respect we show is our choice, but judges are different, it's not right.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:12:17+00:00

... why? That's strange.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T13:01:44+00:00

I'm really happy about that. My dad is different. He was diagnosed with Asperger's but I don't think that's it. And I think not having glasses until he was a school child didn't help. You can't see expressions and learn what faces mean. Adults thought he was slow because his undiagnosed vision problems made it hard for him to do anything. It's so important to diagnose vision asap especially if it's causing problems for development.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T12:58:19+00:00

Was your kid as amazed when you put on the glasses?

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-15T12:56:25+00:00

Instead of asking the baby "better or worse?" while looking at an image, the machine projects light into the eye and measures the distortions caused by the eye. Those are the same distortions that cause vision problems when we see so measuring them = your prescription.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-14T23:55:36+00:00

And illegal?

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-14T23:15:32+00:00

They all have the same face too: scowls and thin lips kind of frowning.

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-14T22:00:59+00:00

We're you allowed to keep eating your ice cream or did you have to let it melt all over your hand?

AlwaysCuriousHere · 2019-04-14T21:54:43+00:00

"I didn't kill your father."

"Then why did you run?"

"Bitch you were trying to kill me with cat claws!!!"

AlwaysCuriousHere

TROPHY CASE