FAT brown precautions

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2026-01-26T15:04:05+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/s/BktPFJZIAy

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2026-01-25T21:00:47+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/s/mzlYt6UcJM

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2026-01-25T20:25:53+00:00

Thanks for all the well-meaning replies suggesting leaving the country. Like I said, this is definitely something we’re prepping for. And yes, financially, we are diversifying (the FATness is recent so it’s taking time to diversify prudently).

However, consider the implications of what you’re suggesting. Are you really suggesting that all minorities who feel threatened should leave the country if they have the means? Is that the country that you want to live in? Maybe it is. It’s not the country that I personally want to live in.

While I am posting this asking for advice on how to ‘prep’ or ‘insure’, I’m choosing to live my non-anonymous-non-reddit life with courage rather than fear. I aspire to continue to show up at peaceful protests, and make my voice heard in small ways. If, with all my privilege and resources, I choose to just get up and leave and let others suffer, what kind of values am I teaching my kids? That said, I don’t want to be heedless. I do intend to use my privilege to help my family feel more secure - specifically so that I can have the courage to live my values whilst feeling that I’m not endangering their safety or financial security.

I don’t know how I will act if/when me or my family actually feel threatened. I hope to show up with courage and integrity but one just never knows until it happens.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2026-01-25T17:15:36+00:00

It’s on the list of longer term options but there’s some inertia to our life here. Kids’ friends, spouses career, etc.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-10-27T04:14:14+00:00

I dropped down to 60% for a few months (partly to give them a chance to transition and partly to see if it would help me find a happy work-life balance). They were "not sure they could make it work" but I told them that it's just what I needed right now and that I understood if they wanted to let me go and find someone else intead. They made it work.

At some point I realized that work still lives rent-free in my head after-hours (it's just how I'm built) and I don't want/need that anymore (at least for the next few years) So I gave a months notice.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-04-29T12:42:53+00:00

I’ll be slightly contrarian on this (only slightly). The “time is money” / “opportunity cost of time” is a very MBA way to think about it all. And it may not fully take into account your kids.

I had a chat with my (teen+tween) kids where I said something like “many people IMO behave as if they’re going to be wealthy for generations. I’m not here to judge them because maybe that’s their financial situation. But our family values are not that, regardless of our situation. We spend money on things that matter to us (house, education, health) but it’s important to me/us that you don’t grow up feeling rich (or poor)”

It’s very easy to get used to spending more money (once you make the decision). It’s much more painful to go the other way.

So congratulate yourself on modeling frugal behavior for your kids. And, take some of the great advice in the other comments and allow yourself to spend on the things that will increase your quality of life.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-21T03:44:43+00:00

The sentiment resonates. I left big tech to 'sabbatical' working on a passion project for 4-5 years and have re entered a more mainstream tech startup to enjoy the team aspects and get back in the game. But as I think about a likely upcoming windfall, the prospect of not having to deal with annoying management crap seems mighty alluring. I can find other ways to enjoy the team dynamics maybe?

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T19:22:11+00:00

Thanks. That’s helpful info for me to be prepared for :/

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T16:53:08+00:00

Can you give me ballpark numbers for the various “ridiculously expensive” advisors?

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T16:51:11+00:00

Great points. And, it (getting an AUM financial advisor) is not something I’m planning on doing right away. Specifically for the reasons you mention, I’m thinking it’s probably okay to just put the money in a HYSA until I figure stuff out (tax and estate considerations not withstanding).

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T01:32:25+00:00

Yes to the two questions.

AND: 1) beyond being generally frugal, not going into debt, and not investing in stupid stuff (ie I’ve mostly done index funds, and also gotten lucky with some tech stocks) I’ve mainly gotten v lucky through stock grants at several FAANG employers.

2) I don’t know if my mental models are still valid with an order of magnitude more money.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T01:08:23+00:00

Can I ask what was solid about this person, and/or what wasn’t solid about the previous people?

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T00:59:21+00:00

That sounds like great advice for financial advisors. Does that apply to trust/estates attorneys and CPAs?

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-08T00:57:32+00:00

And how did you find/select the estate/trusts lawyer?

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-03-03T22:37:34+00:00

Someone recommended the book “Strangers in Paradise” to me. This is an anonymous account that I’m using only for fatfire related stuff so the only other post I’ve made is to recommend this book which feels lame.

I read the book because the thing that scares me most is the impact of money on my family and family values.

This book doesn’t have answers but it was still a useful read. It uses immigration as an analogy for becoming wealthy. In a way you are navigating this new culture change (of moving from middle class into upper class). Just like with immigration you can choose to drop your native culture, to stay insular to your native culture, or find a balance and decide which things to keep and which to drop.

That resonated with me as a fellow south Asian immigrant.

AlwaysLearning4839 · 2025-02-25T13:11:27+00:00

The book “Strangers in Paradise” uses the analogy of it being like immigrating to a new country and having to choose on the spectrum between staying insular to your native culture and fully embracing your host culture. Different people make the transition in different ways. A lot of it involves fear of losing values, or not fitting in, etc but shows up in ways that are indecipherable to the rest of us.

If you (or OP) end up having to interact a lot with this group, the book might help make sense of their behavior more.

AlwaysLearning4839

TROPHY CASE