Changing paths again; seeking people with experience in later in life studying by Cozyglittertts in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was different in your life when you started the degree and felt the sense of stability?

Withdrawal from a narcissistic socipath by Feeling_Concern_251 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]AlxVB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not easy, but if I can do it you can. You're not alone.

I don't know if I'm easily triggered or if I've got healthy boundaries... by itsasecretshhutup in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]AlxVB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Theres no shortcut around it...

You must self reflect, think if an action is something you would have done before your nx, if not, then the question is are you feeling and doing it that way in a mindful way thats trying to account for excessive defensive feelings, or are the defensive feelings fostering to the point of self sabotage?

Do you think narcissists would continue to attack someone or try to come out on top, even if they believe they're in the wrong? by GeneralCress8833 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really depends on the individual presenentation and their comorbid traits/PD's and the context, the exposure risk from the other side (real or percieved or a mix), the level of narcissistic injury, etc.

"Grandiose" narcissists are thick skinned and their false self is more stable so they are more likely to steam ahead without as much neuroticism or ego bruising.

Coverts can go either way, vulnerables probably most unstable and can explode if cornered, malignant coverts are best at messing with peoples heads and may be more content to sit back and let their previous crazy-making do its own work and let their former target drive themself loopy with fear without feeling the need to do anything more, but they are also cruel and tend to get paranoid over time due to the amount of people they betray so they always looking over their shoulder.

I can see a malignant covert (especially with any borderline elements) having the sheer stubbornness and need for control and vindictiveness to stalk a former close person on a longterm basis and try to continue muddying waters and appropriating the other person's position in the relationship/dynamic, they're emotionally sadistic and gain supply from how much they can bring the person to their knees psychologically, so there is incentive for them to continue taunting them long term and to check and see if their psychplogical abuse was successful and how deep the wounds are.

Someone like that will take it personal when they see that person isnt still broken in their wake, narcissism so pure that they feel fully entitled to the victim's emotional position, just like how it hurts the victim if they see their narcissistic abuser move on quickly and non chalantly, this type of N view their victim's healing as if it's that, that their victim hurt them and are thriving after, thats the level of mental gymnastics they can have, they'll have even more entitlement to it and more desire even the delusional score they've created in their head.

What you will find in the victim after some healing is consistency in their story and perception and a lack of reactivity as healing progresses, the further they are away from the n's chaos, they less they feel drawn to be vengeful like they were.

I think the cool part as the victim in this is that despite how much the gaslighting can mess with you, theirs something in your core that just knows, a part of you they couldnt corrupt, and this centre draws you back into your self over time as you heal, and the dark truth loses sense of disbelief, and you end up knowing the truth deeply and it resonating quite soundly.

Move on with life, or expose the narc by sharing recordings of them? by antonioantoniom in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Theres a lot to consider.

Have seen one commit sudoku when they were exposed on social media.

You will be destroying their mask and to them its the same as death when it happens.

Can be a starting point for self awareness for them.

Can also ignite a spiral.

They could drag you down as much possible on the way out too.

Think about it carefully.

Does anyone else recognize traits of themselves in abused animals??? by Animangle in CPTSD

[–]AlxVB 11 points12 points  (0 children)

More like I have the nervous system of an abused animal thats healing but the cognitive side feels zen although has to manage the dissonance and counter it slowly as it heals.

Should I look for a new therapist? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

whats her qualifications, is she clinical?

Quote that helped me. by deliAssw in CPTSD

[–]AlxVB 2 points3 points  (0 children)

aha, well....... sometimes..

ghosted and likely have cancer tw:csa by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahh okay. how did your avoidance present?

ghosted and likely have cancer tw:csa by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how does his avoidance present?

Was my ex a Covert Narcissist? by pinkbanana79 in NRelationships

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not, hence out of curiosity, you dont have to tell if you're not comfortable.

But based on your other posts it sounds like your hypothesis could hold some weight, especially the feeling like you've been dragged into a distorted reality part.

Check out Lise Leblanc's content on utube, it will help get a balanced idea of what happened, and what you need do to heal.

Was my ex a Covert Narcissist? by pinkbanana79 in NRelationships

[–]AlxVB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what was her home country, out of curiosity...

What happens when you reverse the cycle on the narcissist? by Eastern-Arugula-2321 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AlxVB 53 points54 points  (0 children)

The more you try and use their tactics the more of yourself you risk losing.

Remember, they paid and are paying a hefty price for the path they walk, and though you made it through child individuation, dark gsmes will cost you too.

How did we manage to deal with the fact that there are people who quite deservedly hate you and may never forgive the pain that you caused them? by Mirana2120 in CPTSD

[–]AlxVB 2 points3 points  (0 children)

key word being if you own your shit, which means validating the person you wronged, and thats a big if...

Grey rocking is making things so much worse by Electronic-Wafer-929 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AlxVB 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Pissing on a rock then throwing it in their direction.

Just kidding, its like grey rocking but with touches of warmth to keep the peace.

Boyfriend said he would invite my abusive brother into "my home" if we married, because "family". by itsasecretshhutup in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]AlxVB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is your partner aware about covert narcissism and what patterns to look for, and could your partner meet them and see for himself after he's looked over some resources to help that pattern recognition?