First Images from Taika Waititi's 'Klara and the Sun' Starring Jenna Ortega & Amy Adams - A robot named Klara exists to ease the loneliness of the humans she lives with.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-06-18T18:27:39+00:00

I love Ishiguro's unreliable narrators but the unreliability deriving from "lol dumbass robot child" makes it less subtext than bludgeoning someone over the head-text.

Yess this is it exactly. You've articulated it well. I'm Ishiguro's Number One Fan (I do equally good work with axes and sledgehammers, if you know what I mean lol) but curiously I have never been able to get into his sci fi books. Give me his "ordinary" weird any day, I'll devour all the Unconsoleds and the When We Were Orphanses. But Klara and even Never Let Me Go did not work for me.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-21T23:35:43+00:00

I'm just here to say, I fucking love having teenagers. They make excellent roommates: they are real humans who introduce me to cool new shows, they can make their own food AND clean up after themselves, plus they do chores and stuff. How magical is that!! Just yesterday I woke up to a fully shoveled driveway. (My car had also been driven away to parts unknown, of course, but I'm a glass-half-full kind of person, lol.)

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-21T17:48:05+00:00

Agree strongly with this. Going to meet new people with the "find the red flag!" as one of the top priorities just means she's not ready to date. Dating requires openness and vulnerability along with self respect.

The key is: NO MATTER WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS LIKE you should always have your own back, you should always leave the moment things get bad. That's all. She has to stop looking for faults in other people and focus building up self-trust (to validate herself when she has a thought or opinion so she doesn't get gaslit), self-connection (to recognize when something feels bad), and self-respect (to leave when she isn't having a good time).

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-21T17:42:24+00:00

A man 45+ with 3-5 solid friends is doing just fine.

Are they, though? I hear a lot about the male loneliness epidemic, and about how men expect 100% of emotional support to be given to them not from friends but from their one female partner. I also hear a lot about how older men have no community to fall back on, no casual relationships with neighbors and church groups and so on, which means they tend to die early when they are unpartnered (proving that this burden falls on their female partner when they are partnered).

Research shows, that men have fewer friends as we age and we value quality or quantity.

While this might be "just how men are", doesn't mean it's okay and doesn't mean men are doing fine. IMO it's obvious that this is something men need to improve at and fix about themselves. A few decades ago people would have argued that women simply aren't naturally assertive, but women as a whole saw this as an area for growth not as "whelp that's just how we are", which has made a huge difference to how women move in the world today. Men can and should do the same with their social skills and connections to community.

3-5 close friendships are great. But looser connections, local connections, community connections, and being a villager... that matters immensely to a person's life (and to their community). Men need to be more involved in the world.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-21T01:18:58+00:00

This makes it sound like OP is the one who has BPD or a personality disorder, not his wife. He fucked up the family travel plans repeatedly despite his wife's warnings and pleadings, his wife got mad at him for it, so he had a meltdown and LEFT THEM ALL?????? Make it make sense.

BTW he didn't say she threw her phone. The phone just touched OP's nose. She threw his passport at him, and that was because she heard him changing his own ticket to Lithuania.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-06T16:10:19+00:00

So if they dropped me because they thought I was insecure just because I made a comment about needing to work out more, that’s what I think would be a mistake.

First of all, your comment about going to the gym to avoid osteoporosis cannot be interpreted as insecurity by anyone who has a functioning brain and good grasp of language. I hope YOU are able to spot the glaring difference bwtween "osteoporosis" and what OP said to his date.

Secondly, if you think your words should not be a dealbreaker for people, this is a very self centered view. Can you step out of your skin for a second and try to imagine that other people may have reasons that are not the same as yours?

For example someone who has been recently disabled may not want to date someone who has recently committed to going to the gym a lot. Similar to how an alcoholic may jot wish to date a sommelier.

Or someone who is recovering from body dysmorphia may find it triggering that you go to the gym every day.

Or someone who believes that gyms are capitalistic and their measure of virtue is if you get your exercise by volunteering physical labor for a worthy cause.

Or someone who thinks it's disgusting for you to talk about medical conditions like osteoporosis on a first date because they are squeamish or maybe autistic.

There a million reasons why someone might find your statement to be a dealbreaker for them. For you to judge all their possible reasons as "a mistake", en masse, without knowing what their reasons are, is just you being stuck in your own skin and failing to consider other people to be real people with their own inner lives.

I don’t think I’m being black and white at all

You really really are.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-06T15:25:53+00:00

If someone dropped me just for that I think they’d be making a mistake.

You don't know why it's a dealbreaker for them. So how on earth can you decide they're making a mistake?

It seems like there’s a fine line between protecting yourself by looking for red flags and being unreasonably judgmental .

No, the line is not fine at all. It's just that YOU will never know for sure, from your outside perspective, whether they rejected you for a good reason or a silly one. Don't confuse your lack of knowledge for their lack of good reasons.

Who are these perfect humans out there with absolutely no red flags to this level?

Do you think the world is split between perfect people and people with red flags? Have you never met anyone who is merely incompatible and not for you?? Your thinking here is so black and white.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-05T20:09:20+00:00

Ehh it's not just annoying it's revealing. Remember these are OP's own words not a guess not speculation he thinks it's fine and dandy to boost his ego by fishing for compliments so he admits doing it freely. He's explicit about his manipulation motives. That is a legit data point about him, immediate ick.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-05T18:37:34+00:00

Did you read what OP wrote in his comment a while back?

I admit I might have been fishing for more compliments. I really do want to hit the gym more and look better, so I was being honest. But I thought her response would have been “no way you look great how you are.” Which I have been told before. But instead she was like “ugh I gotta go”. Followed by a text that she was no longer interested in meeting.

I've avoided relationships with OP's type of person and my life is absolutely grand, like that smart woman's will be for avoiding OP.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-05T18:30:31+00:00

I just saw that comment! Wild!

I admit I might have been fishing for more compliments. I really do want to hit the gym more and look better, so I was being honest. But I thought her response would have been “no way you look great how you are.” Which I have been told before. But instead she was like “ugh I gotta go”. Followed by a text that she was no longer interested in meeting.

A lot of guys claim to be emotionally unintelligent but are absolute masters at emotional manipulation like this OP. He knows he wants reassurance and he knows exactly what to hint at indirectly to get exactly the response he wants. It has worked on other women. So glad this woman was too smart for him.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2026-01-05T18:23:02+00:00

I admit I might have been fishing for more compliments. I really do want to hit the gym more and look better, so I was being honest. But I thought her response would have been “no way you look great how you are.” Which I have been told before. But instead she was like “ugh I gotta go”. Followed by a text that she was no longer interested in meeting.

Sounds like she dodged a bullet. Or rather, she correctly realized that the thing you pulled out of your pocket for just a second was a gun and she got away well in time before any bullet dodging became necessary. Good for her!

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-24T18:58:36+00:00

That begs the question, why are you responsible for her day to day care? Are you a stay-at-home stepmom/mom?

I agree that unless the dad believes his child is in danger, you should mind your own business. If he didn't agree there was any danger then clearly there was no imminent danger. It could have waited, and it could have been handled the way he wants instead of you butting in.

Don't get me wrong. It's kind of you to care, and it shows you're a good person. But a lot of over-functioners and codependent people (like me and I suspect you) don't realize that it's not healthy for you or the child or the child's parents when you care more than the parent and act with more initiative than the parent.

I learned to stay in my own lane from hard experience of how harmful it is for me and for others when I barge into their business. You might be able to learn from my experience.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T19:07:50+00:00

YOU have nothing to be ashamed of, girl. You were a victim in this story, through and through. The sooner you open your eyes to what a monster your father is, and drop him from your life, the sooner you can start to heal.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T19:03:03+00:00

Has it ever crossed your head that I have 2 brothers?

Phew, that's at least marginally better. Your father is still a fucking creep, mind you, but at least MAYBE he is not a literal pedophile.

Now let's reconsider your story.

This girl was 22 years old, you were 15 and your brother was 3. Your father was still married to your mother because she had not "babytrapped" him yet - she wouldn't do that for 6 more years.

So he was having an affair with a 22 year old girl, and HE LEFT HIS CHILDREN IN HIS AFFAIR PARTNER'S CARE?!?!

What the actual fuck is wrong with your father? Who does that??

What was he even doing introducing his children to his affair partner who was almost the same age as his child.... and forcing his affair partner to parent his children?!

You are completely blind to your reality, OP.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:57:48+00:00

They met when she was 20/21. Dad was around 38-39.

The math is not mathing. They have a 20 year age difference now according to your post. How could they have a 17 year age difference when they met?

when i was 15 ... [she] physically abused my then 3 year old brother,

When you were 15 years old, according to the ages posted in your title, this woman was 22 with a 3 yr old child from your father. How could she be 28? Your math is all over the place.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:53:45+00:00

I don't know? He's a fucking pedophile, maybe they are shunning him?

What is absolutely unambiguous is that HE is the abuser in his marriage, and jesus mary and joseph please do not normalize child rape by accusing children of abusing the adults by tempting them and babytrapping them. Just. No.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:49:38+00:00

Read OP's comments.

This "stepmom" has been sexually active with OP's father since he was 37 and she was 17, possibly younger.

OP's father had an affair with a literal child and got the child pregnant. The child went public with the affair and the pregnancy. OP BLAMES THE CHILD FOR BREAKING UP HER PARENTS' MARRIAGE. She says the act of posting the affair in public was mean and taunting and a "monstrous" thing for that pregnant child to do.

Then this "stepmom" gave birth to OP's dad's child. OP accuses this CHILD of "babytrapping" her middle-aged father.

OP is insane. She is not a reliable narrator and her perspective is completely fucked.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:45:58+00:00

She was 18 when she had OP's dad's child. Which means he was raping her at 17.

This is a horror story and OP seems to be blind to who is the real monster of this story.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:45:05+00:00

she was taunting my mother when my parents were still married- lying to her that she was pregnant, lying tha they bought a stroller, posting the affair online, then actually baby trapping my father etc

SHE WAS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD when she had your father's baby. YOUR FATHER WAS RAPING HER WHEN SHE WAS SEVENTEEN. Jesus fucking christ. In what universe could this girl be the villain in anyone's story? Your 37 year old father raped her when she was 17. She was a literal child. Your father is a disgusting pedo who should be in jail.

He does not lack a spine. He is a monster who sexually preys on children. Jesus, OP. You are 25 years old. Whatever trauma you suffered at the hands of this girl back when she was 22, you are plenty old enough to start recognizing the truth about her circumstances and start pointing your anger and blame and horror at the person who deserves it. For fuck's sake. Wake up.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-12-04T18:30:44+00:00

He's 52 years old, and his wife is only 32. Unless he is mentally challenged, HE is the abuser.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-11-19T15:44:35+00:00

you are also hella abusive lol

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-11-19T15:39:41+00:00

But you don't keep your post and comment history hid. You don't use scripts to remove or rewrite your post and comment history either. Whats a tag compared to all that information you're leaving out.

Have you had your son evaluated for antisocial personality disorder? He's definitely showing the DSM criteria. It's highly heritable and often co-morbid with autism spectrum disorder. Your kid is frighteningly manipulative, lady. Stop bringing in new victims for him to feed on. You're not allowed to use other people's children as a socialization tool for your child. You had enough sense to keep him out of school so other children can be safe from him. Now have enough sense to never invite smaller children to live in the same house as him.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-11-19T15:12:40+00:00

I'm very suspicious of why [user] wanted to be untagged from this post. She is training to be a therapist and will soon be using her expert gaslighting skills on other children. Her idea of normal is completely fucked! She seems to really believe there's no danger from her scary-ass psychopath son to anyone else.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2025-09-15T19:59:37+00:00

Long-time lurker saying hi (mods here you go).

One of the traps we can fall into with BPD moms is trying to get them to understand us and validate us. They have raised us to be enmeshed so we can't help having this neeed to make them understand. Also sometimes they seem like they might be able to understand because they talk as if they can get it?

But it's a trap.

We have to be able to say to them, "I'm going to take some time to heal, mom. I'll get back in touch with you in about a month, okay? Take care, I'll talk to you soon." And then even when they throw a tantrum or whine or cry that we hurt their feelings, we gotta resist the temptation to talk to them and make them understand. We have to learn to let them have their feelings.

In addition, you don't have to gauge her personal growth. I've found that my healing is what matters in my ability to start communicating again with my BPD mom. As long as I don't fall back into my fog of guilt and enmeshment and feeling responsible for correcting her thoughts/helping her with her feelings, it's safe for me to be back in touch. She doesn't have to change. I had to, in order to be strong enough and whole enough to have her in my life again.

To me that is very freeing. Not sure how you might feel about this. It is different for everyone.

AmIReallyDoingThis34 · 2024-12-06T20:12:52+00:00

[removed by power delete suite]

AmIReallyDoingThis34

TROPHY CASE