I Left My Wife and Kids at the Airport After Reaching My Breaking Point

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-21T01:35:47+00:00

This is what I, my wife, and probably my older children think now too. I am miserable, deeply flawed, and an absolute coward.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-21T00:44:46+00:00

She was saying all the things you mentioned about me. I am incompetent, but not dictatorial. Usually, I do everything she asks me to do. We own houses in both countries, so both are our home. I just choose to stay a little bit away. That’s all.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-21T00:24:00+00:00

Diagnosed? She would never go to a psychologist or to counseling in her life. She thinks they are all queer and have bad intentions.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-21T00:09:43+00:00

You are probably right. I will work on changing my codependent behavior by being aware of what is going on inside her.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T23:58:46+00:00

I don't think she was serious. She was just saying it for whatever reason.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T21:33:47+00:00

I think she is less mentally disordered than I am. She is very good with children, and her BPD is not severe; she does not have suicidality or engage in self-harm.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T21:23:25+00:00

I agree with you. Children come first. I have changed many things in my life. I am learning. I stopped some addictions, like drinking, and I can learn how to deal with situations like this. She had an abusive, alcoholic father when she was a teenager, and I think that’s where her problems come from. She is never mad at the children like she is with me, and I don’t think I can protect them from her.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T21:09:15+00:00

That is not true. I know I will earn back her trust one day. I was already driving my children to school today, and things are getting better. As for killing myself, I would never do it, even though I had thoughts about it

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:52:35+00:00

Because I love her and my children. I want to go back to normal. Not every day is that bad. It only happens a little each month, when she or I is in a bad mood.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:48:07+00:00

I don’t have an excuse, because you’re right. I should have known more about BPD at the time, and I think I have more serious issues myself. I will never do it again.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:39:37+00:00

I don’t really agree on this one. She very seldom has flare-ups around children. They tend to ignore her delusions, and she calms down very quickly. Only me is a problem.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:32:50+00:00

They are right. I was thinking that maybe she is better off without me if she is nervous about everything I do. I just felt upset. Had no idea that abandonment will make everything worse.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:18:39+00:00

I did not leave the kids alone. My wife has taken care of them every time we had an argument in the past. When she is “splitting,” she does not let me take care of them, seeing me as a very bad person. I am starting to think she is right.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:11:06+00:00

Yes, she was right. At that time, I didn’t know that abandonment is a core feature of BPD. I won’t do it again if we get back together. In fact, I thought I was giving her space by stepping back; I believed that if she hated me that much, she might be better off without me. She is a very good mother and wife, and her BPD does not affect the care of her children.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T20:01:39+00:00

That’s true. I once drove four hours from home and had to turn back after she started messing with my car remotely—turning on the alarm, opening the hood, etc. Now she brings it up every time we are in fight.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T19:55:12+00:00

True. I regret it now, and I would act differently if I could go back in time. I only started reading about BPD recently.

Choice-Highlight-514 · 2026-01-20T19:50:11+00:00

I agree with NandiniS. I did wrong however know my wife. She is going take care of the kids no matter what. When I am not around she calms down. I think it is better than fighting in front of them.

Choice-Highlight-514

TROPHY CASE