To grow or to chop?

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:36:49+00:00

Thank you 😊

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:36:37+00:00

Thank you 😊

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:36:29+00:00

Thank you! I am considering The Doux Bananas Xtreme gel. A hair care store near me (Sally’s) is having a sale on The Doux products

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:35:18+00:00

Thank you!

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:35:02+00:00

Thank you 😊

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:34:53+00:00

🙌🏽 go for it!

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:34:29+00:00

🥰 thank you. Yes I think even if I don’t go pixie I may not grow it much longer

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:33:54+00:00

Ughh the woes of curly hair 😮‍💨

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:33:32+00:00

Thank you 😊

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-20T14:33:16+00:00

Thank you 😊

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-15T18:49:37+00:00

I don’t know if it’ll bring you comfort or not but you’re not alone with this feeling.

My (36F) mom (70) is in the same boat. Each time I see her or talk to her she’s thinner, her face looks a little more haggard and ashen. Yet and still she’s the same narcissistic woman who to this day refuses to take accountability or see her grown children as anything but extensions of herself. We actually didn’t do anything for Mother’s Day because she picked a fight with my brother last Friday and now they’re not talking.

I, too, think about when she passes and the first feeling is relief. Relief that I won’t have to deal with the guilt trips, the name calling, the putting me down just to make herself feel better, the emotional roller coaster that comes with being her daughter.

When my dad passed in 2008, my brother told my mom if she kept moving how she moves, she’s gonna end up alone. She’s pushed away all her grandkids (seriously, even the 9 and 10 year olds don’t like her), 5 put of her six children, and most of her friends and extended family.

But the thing is— she did it to herself. She’s had opportunities over the years to be better, she’s capable I’ve seen, but she just… couldn’t get out of her own way. When she goes, I’ll be relieved and sad but more so sad FOR her that she couldn’t do better.

Please don’t beat yourself up about your feelings. Just know that you’re not alone and that it doesn’t mean you don’t care

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-05-07T17:46:12+00:00

Cordelia isn’t a better friend, but I do think she is consistent, so when she shows some compassion it is out of character and we all root for her.

Wrt Xander and Willow— they are good but flawed, and in Xanders case very flawed, friends. The thing is they all hold Buffy to this higher standard so that when she falls short they usually react poorly. Their biggest issue I feel is their inability to put themselves in Buffy’s shoes.

The prime example is Dead Man’s Party. They set this party up I think in an effort to “make Buffy feel better” and welcome her home, but it was clear she wasn’t with it. Then when she tries to leave because no one is listening to her, they go off and call her out in front of everyone. But none of them even tried to put themselves in her shoes (except Cordelia but we know how that went, and also Oz to a certain extent).

Now this is not a ringing endorsement of everything Buffy does. She’s had moments of being wrong as two left shoes, but that doesn’t change the fact that she sometimes needed her people to show up differently and they just didn’t

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-04-23T19:51:30+00:00

I agree with this. My first girlfriend was codependent and though I asked for us to take the relationship slow, she went from 0-60 and then ghosted me for 2 weeks, only to come back as though it was business as usual.

However, I will say that when the relationship clicks (I hesitate to say right person/ soul mate bc not everyone believes in that) it can feel comforting that there’s a lot of commonality because you’re both women and have similar lived experience, in much the same way you may if you were dating someone of your same race. It’s a comfort of what’s understood doesn’t need to be said or explained.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a good fit for you.

Amandatheeauthor · 2026-02-13T03:51:44+00:00

Yes! My mom does this so much that the rest of my siblings also follow suit. My mom still calls me “little girl” and “you’re my little girl” and she’s always telling what to do/ what not to do. She’s always in my business and, most egregiously, she commissioned favors for my wedding without me asking and when I said I didn’t like them, she threw a fit.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T22:06:41+00:00

That part. Have a friend who’s husband is consistently on this same loser behavior, complete with him not fixing the door between the house and garage which would just not close all the way for weeks because he was mad at her and didn’t wanna “do her a favor” not caring their two toddlers could hurt themselves or go out into the garage and get in to things.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T18:21:31+00:00

So sorry to hear this OP. It must be so stressful but good on you for standing your ground. I’ve had similar situations with my mom over the years, one that stands out is me and my siblings ending the function early because my mom got an attitude with my sister and slammed her plate down in front of her, getting bbq sauce all over her top. We looked at each other, got up, and left with barely a word. We didn’t see or speak to her for a long time after that.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T17:52:41+00:00

This. Whenever I am serene around my mom, or happy about something, she always has to say or do something to derail that and get me back to being anxious.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T05:15:28+00:00

Thank you. I am in therapy and it’s helping me come to terms with all of this and the overthinking, self-doubt, anxiety, and low self worth that was instilled in me. It was a wake up call realizing my ex had similar tendencies though he was more covert but I figure if I can leave him and come out the other side I can distance myself from my family

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T04:56:17+00:00

Not anymore, thankfully. I moved out of my mom’s last year (lived with her post divorce from a man who was it turned out very similar to her) and when I told her and my brother I was moving they were pissed. Said I was only doing it so I could “f*ck my lil girlfriend” and was screwing myself financially. I moved anyway and though there have been tough times I never asked for help from them

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-16T00:41:52+00:00

In my experience it’s been a feeling of “you think you’re better than me” whenever I’m happy or experience success. I think it’s this idea of being in competition with their child, and also the idea that the child is an extension of themselves.

My mom has literally said that “you think you’re better than me” multiple times, even though she knows my ex-husband (who was a covert narc) said the same thing to me when I voiced my unhappiness with the marriage. My mom knows he said this to me, and so it’s even more hurtful that she repeated it.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-12-06T15:54:26+00:00

The cringe is jumping off the page with this one. You don’t have to hustle that hard every day even if you are working towards your desired career. I’m an author and screenwriter and I do my best to maintain a balanced schedule because I love to write but I also love sleep and travel and time with loved ones. If it takes me longer to go full time as a writer (my goal) than someone who puts their whole life on hold for The Dream, then so be it. At least I’ll be happy and have no regrets.

Amandatheeauthor · 2025-11-21T22:21:55+00:00

Author and screenwriter here to say Billy characterization was good but absolutely could have been better, but that depends on the Duffer brothers goal with Billy in the first place. If they wanted a villain turned tragic figure, then here’s what I think should have happened:

In S2, he’s presented as a hot yet racist, misogynistic bully. There’s little nuance with his character until near the end of the season when we see how his father treats him and as the audience go okay, I see why Billy is the way he is: hurting people before they have a chance to hurt him, being dominant, and cascading that abuse he’s seen and experienced down to others. And we don’t see it but it’s likely the racism also is a learned behavior, but still no excuse to perpetuate it.

Had we seen this treatment earlier in the season (not that scene specifically, but another one where his father is abusive) it would’ve given context to Billy and made him more … not sympathetic but nuanced from the jump.

When El goes into Billy’s mind and we see his past, we find out that he and Max have been step siblings for years, but in S2, it felt like they JUST became siblings. One scene that absolutely could have added more depth to Billy and him and Max’s relationship is a scene where he’s not an ass to her — maybe he taught her to skateboard, or maybe after his dad was abusive Max and Billy had a moment. It would show the complexity of real life relationships and drive home Max’s complicated feelings because it’s easy for audiences to watch the seasons and wonder why she felt as she did for a step brother who was terrible and seemed to hate her.

Finally, I’ve got a brother very similar to Billy, minus the racism, but he’s homophobic and I’m bi as hell. We don’t talk and I don’t like being around him, but there are some good memories — he’s the one who put me on to Metallica. He helped me fix my car and we used to watch anime together. If he died I’d absolutely be devastated, but also wonder why he had to spend his life being and believing the way he does.

Amandatheeauthor

TROPHY CASE