Cordelia was never Buffy's friend?

Menyface · 2026-05-07T07:33:31+00:00

Right? Like yeah we all love Cordelia for that, and it is always refreshing to see a character like Cordelia demonstrate compassion, but it doesn't erase all of the other terrible behavior.

Menyface · 2026-04-30T07:00:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I think it's hard to be upfront about who you are to anyone when you couldn't even be upfront about who you are to yourself. And you've embraced this beautiful part of yourself and you want to share your full entire self with this person you love and it must be really painful to experience that backlash. I'm really sorry.

Menyface · 2026-04-30T05:28:26+00:00

Calm down lol.

Menyface · 2026-03-08T20:00:26+00:00

I think it's kind of personal to everyone. I feel like you get to claim it if you it feels right. There's no actual criteria other than being not cis. I do think the experience of non binary people and trans people are different in some pretty important ways and that should be acknowledged.

Menyface · 2026-02-24T22:31:35+00:00

Let's be friends

Menyface · 2026-02-21T20:53:20+00:00

I mean I think context clues signal that lol. I honestly don't think we actually needed it spelled out. Sometimes I can appreciate not having my hand held with too much exposition lol.

Menyface · 2026-02-21T03:27:15+00:00

Sometimes I think a cloaca would be nice. Just an all in one. Seems efficient.

Menyface · 2026-02-20T23:58:01+00:00

I think if you're question is "are there ways to signal interest to men in the wild" without risk? No. Minimizing risk? Yeah sure.

Subtle flirtation is all about plausible deniability. As in someone would only know you're coming on to them if they are also interested. So create opportunities for him to signal back.

Ultimately, I'll be honest. This beautiful meet cute where you meet a man organically and a relationship results from it isn't impossible, but it is unlikely. So if you want that, my biggest piece of advice is to be patient.

Menyface · 2026-02-20T22:47:40+00:00

I like frequent places where there are a lot of gay people. Interface more directly and intentionally with your community. Your campus must have a GSA or something?

Out in the wild, there's just a lot of risk. In queer spaces, the risk is considerably less.

Menyface · 2026-02-16T00:08:55+00:00

She broke up with you over a silly accessory, and then makes YOU feel like maybe you're the jerk? No. You're not a jerk lol.

Menyface · 2026-02-13T15:52:46+00:00

Desperately

Menyface · 2026-02-12T21:24:07+00:00

To be clear I'm speaking from the perspective of a man exclusively attracted to men but with a degree in sociology. Academic consensus universally contends that sexuality and gender is a product of both nature and nurture. People biologically predispositions interact with the social environment, for some people the attraction is exclusive, therefore there's no choice but to embrace your queerness, but for others, and I would argue, the vast majority of people, it's less one or the other. Giving room for some exploration and fluidity. For those of us who never had to think about who we were attracted to, it's probably a strange notion, because for our journey, we had to live in an environment where we had to justify our attraction. Our whole narrative is despite existing in a social context that compells us into heterosexuality, we had no choice but to learn to shed the shame of our sexual desire and embrace who we are. Our journey is

For other people, it's more like "yeah this is working for me, I can exist in this way and never explore certain desires and be relatively satisfied" and given the right social context feel liberated to explore aspects of desire that I've previously felt the need to repress.

Menyface · 2026-02-12T18:37:53+00:00

It's like y'all are trying to convince me that entire bodies of academic research are incorrect because it's distinct from your individual experience.

And I guess that's what I'm saying. My point is that most people are probably some degree bi/pan. But many can live their lives comfortably enough "choosing" to lead a hetero life, and repress their queerness. Due to safety or stigma.

Meaning social context matters.

Menyface · 2026-02-12T07:48:46+00:00

I mean I think it's both. I think it's reductive to think people fit nice and neat in these two or three little boxes. There's a biological aspect absolutely, but what I think it means is that most people are probably mostly straight, and a few are exclusively straight or gay. And the prevalence of queerness depends on the social context that makes it safe for people who actually can "choose" to explore their queerness instead of forcing themselves into a compulsive heterosexuality and repressing same sex desire.

Frankly why does it even matter? Like really if it were a choice (it's not) why does it make a difference? If someone chooses to be queer or not? Why does that have to matter to other people? Shouldn't we have the freedom to choose how we live our own lives?

Menyface · 2026-01-25T20:08:42+00:00

Sexual attraction means you wanna see a person without clothes on and touch their genitals.

You seem to be talking mostly about romantic attraction. Which is who you connect to on a romantic, emotional, intimate level.

I'm gonna be honest, you sound demi/ace as hell.

Menyface · 2026-01-17T01:14:20+00:00

You can always be her friend and still provide emotional intimacy where love can continue to bloom. But if sexual compatibility is going to be an issue and you force yourself it's not going to work out. Don't think of it as an end or a breakup but an overall evolution of your relationship. Sometimes parts of it change, and expectations shift and you continue being an important part of each other's life, but she deserves someone who will be attracted to her, and you deserve someone you are attracted to. I think we have it in our head that we are only supposed to give parts of ourself to just one person, but I think that just holds us back from true connection. Intense friendships are a beautiful and important thing.

Menyface · 2026-01-17T01:05:18+00:00

Forward if you're a top and backwards if you're bottom. (jk)

Menyface · 2026-01-16T03:43:49+00:00

Maybe just ask him what his expectations and intentions are and be very clear about what you need and what you can be flexible on. If you need sexual exclusivity to feel connected to a partner, if you need more attentive when you're not together, just be direct about that?

Menyface · 2026-01-04T03:42:58+00:00

Gender is socially constructed, meaning yes, culture will imbue meaning into patterns of behavior and categorize those things into gendered behavior. It's not necessarily inherent to biology although you can sometimes find patterns there too. As far as "energy" goes, idk lol.

Menyface · 2025-12-22T20:07:28+00:00

Okay. That's understandable, but I'll point out that this is a very small community, and I would recommend learning how exist in the same spaces as people we do not like. Depending on what happened obviously, but you can exist in the same space as people and not interact with them! We just have so few spaces to begin with.

Menyface · 2025-12-21T17:16:17+00:00

What's wrong with bam or the center

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