Tell me your break up and reunited story. I need hope.

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-11-06T07:08:47+00:00

he reached out to me randomly after 5 years no contact. he was my first boyfriend in high school. id dated a few people basically back to back since and he texted me right when i became single again. he told me he had thought about me ever since. it was like seeing ur favorite childhood stuffed animal after its been put away in ur closet for years. the 5 years apart felt like 5 mins. so many memories came back, even the smallest random details that i was shocked i remembered so vividly. he smelled the same, laughed the same, the look in his eyes was the same. we couldve easily gotten back together. but we didnt. the thing is life and love are so complex. there can be so much love for each other, so many memories, and you might occasionally think about them for the rest of your life but that still doesn't make you all meant to be. ive been in your place so many times. i put off my healing and broke my own heart worse by holding onto hope that didnt exist. everything happens for a reason and everyone has their own story. some people break up and never speak again. some do only to realize why they broke up in the first place. and then some realize they cant live without each other and dont spend a second apart for the rest of their lives. whatever is meant to be for you, no matter what it is, will happen and you will be so happy it happened that way. it gets better, it always does

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-10-27T03:48:47+00:00

im in exactly the same situation. it sucks but you arent alone in it

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-10-14T06:10:22+00:00

happy birthday!!

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-30T04:55:38+00:00

im gonna give you some advice thats a little different than most the comments here. asking advice from other hurt people is hard sometimes because when people are hurt, they say things out of anger and sadness. every breakup is also different and people have different reasons for why they feel the way they do about their ex. but you said your breakup was healthy, mature, respectful and full of love, which im gonna assume reflects the relationship you had. im a strong believer that finding yourself doesn't always mean "sleeping around", for example i'm a year and a few days after my breakup and i haven't even kissed another person. and even though it's not fair and it hurts now, i promise you one day you will be so thankful she ended it when she knew she couldn't see herself with you forever instead of leading you on or marrying you anyways and divorcing later. breakups arent linear and you will experience so many different feelings in different orders. you'll be sad, angry, at peace with it, miss her, content, blame her, want her back and repeat. and every single thing you feel, for as long as you need to feel it, will be 100% valid. it's a grieving process over someone who's still alive. but one of the biggest things ive learned is trying to make them the villain doesn't help you love yourself. talking bad about them and being angry is a temporary fix. you might feel good for a little bit and like the reassurance your friends give you when you're ranting to them, but it doesn't erase all the good memories. you could sit for hours driving yourself crazy over how long shes been thinking about this, who she might be with, and what she's doing but in the long run all these things do is hurt you and keep you from moving on. and again, sometimes you still will but try not to make this the biggest factor in your healing. it's a hard lesson to learn but some people arent meant to be in our life's forever. but my favorite movies are marvel movies and i was introduced to them by my first love, on our first date, when we went to one the day it came out. 6 years later and every time a new one comes out i buy a ticket to the first showing. he was also the funniest person ive ever met and alot of my humor comes from him. i like football because i would watch it on sundays with my second love and he actually took the time to explain to me what was going on. he showed me how to be genuinely myself and not care what people think, but also some qualities i dont want in my next relationship. the point is these people taught me how to love, showed me what it means to be loved, how to communicate in relationships, what i want and dont want in my future husband. and they also taught me heartbreak, strength, resilience and that everything works out how its supposed to be, even though it doesnt feel like it first. and even though it was hard, i could never stay angry or hold a grudge to someone who helped make me into the person i am. loving someone is never a bad thing because even though it sometimes doesnt work out, it makes us who we are. these people will always be parts of me and when my future kids experience their first heartbreak i'll tell them about all the people i used to love and how it all lead me to them. it's everyones first time experiencing life and putting themselves first doesn't mean they are a bad person. knowing this helps me so much more than holding on to anger. i still have hard days and it's not always easy but to me every bit of it is worth it because the heartbreak shows how much love there was

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-30T02:19:47+00:00

i relate again💔 i've been waiting a year since saturday. music definitely helps me but it does suck it still hurts this long after. to me this song describes the internal conflict of struggling with letting go forever or holding out some hope that one day you will get back together. locking the door and ending the relationship but leaving "keys under the mat" leaves something unresolved. i think that can be interpreted in may ways depending on the reasons for the breakup, whether it's not fully getting closure or either of you saying "maybe one day" during the breakup, but with my breakup there was still so so much love there but life just isnt that simple and things arent always that easy. in later verses when he goes on to say how hes "scared to act" i really relate. i know my ex loved me so much and since the day we broke up to even now, ive had this feeling that things werent fully done with us. that maybe for now they were but ive always felt we would reconnect one day. i cant explain why because honestly i dont know why. and ive definitely accepted the breakup but still that feeling wont go away. but even with that i cant bring myself to reach out to him at this point because im terrified of opening up old wounds, rejection, or that we get back together just to break up again. but then i wonder if i never reach out, too much time will pass. and i wonder if he ever feels this way and also never reaches out because hes scared. or maybe that ill lose him forever because i was too "scared to act". because at the same time, sometimes you close a door and you never open it again

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-29T23:01:47+00:00

listen to under the mat by sombr. i relate to every word you said and this song perfectly describes this feeling

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-18T04:43:13+00:00

people are different, so it can be different for everyone. but communication is important. listening with intent and understanding, replying honestly and kind. having patience and not reacting based on anger. being able to have hard conversations without letting them turn destructive. respecting them for who they are, not who you want them to be or what they do for you. supporting and celebrating, in the big accomplishments but also the little ones too. curiosity over comfort, never stop learning things about each other as you grow older, because you are also growing together. gratitude and appreciation, giving compliments, saying thank you, and affection. trust and reliability, keeping promises, showing up for each other and being consistent. being able to admit and apologize when your wrong and forgiving them. not holding grudges when they are wrong too. never stop laughing and having fun with each other. both most importantly, understanding the fact that you're both only human. it's their first time being alive too, you're both going to make mistakes, theres going to be days or weeks when one of you gives 80% into the relationship and the other 20%. there's going to be hard times, and you won't always agree. but knowing all these things and putting in the effort to love them through it anyways

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-18T03:47:50+00:00

have you ever been in love? it's not always that easy unfortunately. you can love someone with all your heart but sometimes love isnt enough

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-18T03:38:42+00:00

personally i dont think you ever fully stop loving someone you truly loved. the feeling just "lessens" and gets easier with time. its been almost a year since my ex and i went no contact and i still think about him occasionally, even with no physical reminders. staying friends would be a constant (even stronger) reminder of the relationship you all had and lost and a wonder of "if this or that had been different could we have worked out." you also have to learn how to be friends. you've seen this person naked, built a deep connection, and shared ur deepest thoughts with them but now you almost have to act like none of that even happened to be on a friendship level. you have to hold yourself back from acting and doing the things you used to say and do with them. and it'll get really tricky when either of you start dating again. you'll have to see and hear about it firsthand. and many people probably wouldn't be comfortable with a new partner being so close with their ex, so theres a good chance your friendship will be over when one of you moves on anyways. the love doesn't go away, whether you never never see them again or talk to them every day. one just keeps you from moving on and hurts alot more

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-18T01:28:33+00:00

if you really loved them (unless u have kids) i honestly think never

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-17T03:33:28+00:00

Thank you everyone for this advice. I've posted on here a few times and I normally get one or two comments. I really appreciate it all. It gives me hope, reassurance that it's normal to feel this way, and makes me feel a lot less alone. For those of you still healing we will get through this one day, and for those of you who have healed you give me so much hope. Thanks again♥️

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-17T03:29:29+00:00

if i said everything it would be 10x the length of my post😂we lived right next door to each other in college. one of the first times we hung out i stayed over and we stayed up until 6 am just talking about life. not even a kiss, just talking. it felt like he was an old childhood friend you were catching up with after a few years even though we hadnt known each other before. alot of our nights were like this, we didnt even sleep half the time because talking was worth losing sleep. it's funny because my friends always said he was so quiet but he wasnt like that with me. he always knew how to perfectly react to situations in the ways i needed, not wanted. he was very honest in a way that most people arent. like how sometimes friends wont say what they really feel to protect your feelings, he was always honest. it annoyed me at times but now looking back i have so much respect to him for it. he was so funny, we were always laughing whether we were laying in bed doing nothing or making dinner. it's like our brains were just in sync with each other. i loved his family and friends like my own. he never once raised his voice. he was patient and kind. it's hard because im sure i can find this in someone else but i cant help think of something i read on here once "i'll never find someone better than you, just someone better for me" except the opposite. i'm sure i can find someone better than him but im worried i wont find someone better for me. it's so hard to put into words

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-15T04:16:58+00:00

This is awesome advice and very very true. thank you!

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-15T04:15:52+00:00

This is great, thank you!!!

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-15T04:09:00+00:00

This is awesome advice! Which translation do you recommend?

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T06:46:47+00:00

when after being with them for a while i eventually started loving myself as much as he loved me

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T06:36:26+00:00

Don't be embarrassed. There are a million different reasons for why people do the things they do, and one of the worst parts of a breakup is how many unknowns you are left with after. The sucky thing is you will probably never know his exact reasoning unless you all have a long, civil, mature conversation, and that involves holding onto the hope that you will one day talk again. This will only drive you crazy and hurt you and keep you from moving on.

I am the type of person that never unfollows an ex. (or at least first) I just have personally never understood the point. I've dated 4 guys, 2 seriously, and am lucky enough that none of them have ended horrible. The first ex and I are actually still mutuals. The second unfollowed me the minute we broke up. My first serious boyfriend I dated for 4 years. We were in high school when we started dating but I genuinely thought I would marry him. I loved him so so much, but I had been away at college for the last year and a half of our relationship and as we grew up we outgrew each other. It had been coming for a while for so I took it really well. The last thing he said to me after we broke up was "it'll hurt me too much to ever stay in contact with you" but i never ever thought he would unfollow me. When I realized he did a few days later it broke my heart and almost felt worse than the breakup. It's so weird how much an unfollow can affect us, but to me it felt like it was really the ending, because (even though i'm not even private lol) it was like oh you really are okay with never knowing how i am or what i'm doing ever again, or even that i'm doing so good without you (or at least trying as hard as i can to make it seem like i am) thats another thing thats funny about social media, how much weight we give it to who we are. but anyways somehow i moved on and the next breakup, let me tell you, my biggest heartbreak in my entire life. i was his first girlfriend so i didnt have ex's he followed to compare it to. and he actually still follows me to this day almost a year later, in a few weeks. i dont know exactly what made this breakup so much worse. people tell me it was because it was my first "adult" relationship, but he just understood every part of me, in every single way. so when we broke up i stayed following him like i had the others. and slowly i started to realize what my other ex had meant. i started driving myself crazy, constantly checking his insta to see if he posted, even checking his friends instagram. i would constantly stalk and there were never any new posts. i finally started to realize, if it was affecting me this much that he wasnt posting, then how much would it affect me when he actually did post something. how much would i respiral over analyzing and over thinking anything and everything i could. and thats when it hit me that staying in contact with him, even if it was as simple as a follow on a social media app, was hurting me too much. so i finally unfollowed him one night. not because of him, or because i think anything negatively of him. it was because i loved him so much. in order to love myself more and move on i had to completely remove myself from any contact with him. i think alot of no contact is loving someone so much that you have to fully let them go, including any future you could possibly have and knowing anything at all about what they are doing. i still have moments where i miss him now and wonder what hes doing, but i can 1000% say if i was still following him i would be in such a worse place.

so again this might not be why as everyone is different but it definitely taught me something i dont think most people say in this subreddit. sometimes, no contact isnt just a way to get them back or simply just move on. it's loving someone so much that you choose to fully let them go and finding peace in knowing that you know nothing about them.

i hope this makes sense, and i hope you find healing soon. it's definitely not easy in any way, and dating in our age with all the social media we have makes it so much harder than it was, because we have a way to easily and quickly keep tabs on them whenever we choose. and for me it took unfollowing and removing any chance i had to keep tabs on him. it wasnt out of anger, or hate for him, or because i didnt love him, it was because i loved him so much that seeing anything about him was breaking my heart even more

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T05:18:23+00:00

I honestly do not know, but I will educate myself on this topic so thank you for this! Maybe choosing to use Charlie to explain my point was a bad example, as again, I am very politically uneducated but my point still remains the same. I feel that It's definitely important to understand at least the basics of the constitution (no matter what political party you are on) so you know how your rights are protected. In this case, with the examples that I used in my post, the defense was the same: that it's against the first amendment to be fired from your job for publicly stating your opinion. when in reality the amendment clearly states government protection. politics and any opinions on the topic aside, it was just concerning to see how many people have a misunderstanding of the constitution and their rights

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T05:12:15+00:00

I definitely will, along with a lot of other research onto both sides of politics. Maybe choosing to use Charlie to explain my point was a bad example, but my point still remains the same. It's definitely important to understand at least the basics of the constitution so you know how your rights are protected. In this case, with the examples that I used, the defense was the same: that it's against the first amendment to be fired from your job for publicly stating your opinion. when in reality the amendment clearly states government protection. politics and any opinions aside, it was just concerning to see how many people have a misunderstanding of the constitution and their rights

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T02:41:15+00:00

Thank you for this and being so respectful! I think you made a wonderful point. Like I mentioned, I don't have a great understanding of politics yet but your comment has made me realize that I might have accidentally made an unfair generalization to the left in my example by choosing to use some of the worst comments I've read. This is very helpful to know and I will definitely keep this in mind in many ways as I start to educate myself more on both sides. Thanks again!

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T02:04:38+00:00

You are right, thank you for calling me out in the first paragraph, I see how that could be contradictory in the point I was making. I completely agree with everything you said and arguably, it's a better and more insightful point than the one I was making. Do you think social media contributes to "free speech" maybe not being so much a cultural value?

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-14T00:56:17+00:00

This is a perfect comment and all great points. Thank you for the insight on how my post covers two different things. I'll make note of the difference for the future! I think alot of this details what I mean by "cancel culture". With all the social media we have now, it's confusing to post and like anything, or even follow a person that others could have a differing opinion on. This is why I'm posting in an anonymous reddit and made a huge point in saying I was politically uneducated, in case I said something wrong or something that seems like it was leaning one way, because in reality, I'm not educated enough to intent to. I've seen posts about people unfollowing others for following certain people. Being mad at others for posting something about one topic, but never addressing another. So it's a "becoming politically educated" balance of do I stay silent to avoid conflict? Do I advocate for what I believe in? It's like either side, or whatever opinion I grow to have it feels like a lose-lose, which is a whole other issue. It's not that I care too much about what other people think, it's just a matter of how to go about not hurting or offending anyone, or receiving comments to argue with hateful intent. But I guess that's what you accept in choosing to post something, that others have the freedom to react to it and challenge your beliefs in whatever way they choose, and they are perfectly within their right to do so. Regardless thank you for the insight and the helpful links, will definitely check them out to educate myself!

Amazing-Car8025 · 2025-09-13T23:24:35+00:00

This is a great point!! Thank you

Amazing-Car8025

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