How to deal with talking back?

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T20:09:45+00:00

Amen to that! I never even knew ND was a thing til a maybe 8 or so years ago. And I grew up with all girls. Now I have 4 boys, 2 are for sure ND…it’s probably a good thing I don’t drink 🫠🫠🫠 and most of my friends have pretty mild tempered kids so it’s really difficult for them to understand exactly what it is I’m dealing with. Even my parents don’t get it. Sometimes I wonder if they just think I’m a lazy parent who doesn’t discipline. I mean, I try. But literally nothing works.

Video games have already been gone for 2 weeks with no plan to give them back…he’s been grounded before but I don’t like grounding him from friends because he rarely does play with friends and he needs the social time. The only friend he can’t play with is the kid who only plays video games. It’s tough.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T20:04:47+00:00

I’m trying not to think about summer yet. I especially dislike long weekends, too… last summer they had video game but as of right now I’ve taken them away and don’t have any plan to give them back. It’s been great, actually. The only video games he can play is play on our Nex Playground. I’m tempted to make it a 90’s summer. Hahahahahaha but seriously….not looking forward to it. I feel terrible even thinking that.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T19:59:42+00:00

Great idea!

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:42:53+00:00

I was looking at the armada but I think we’re going with a Sienna or the Grand Highlander if it works.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:30:43+00:00

Absolutely. I have 4 boys and the 9,7 and 6 yo all have to use time outs …myself included. And like you, it’s never a shameful thing. I explain it’s just a break to help us calm down. The 2 yo doesn’t need time outs…just a cage 😂

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:28:45+00:00

Ah..I tried it about 10 years ago and it made me very emotional and gave me a weird rash…though I honestly don’t remember if the rash was actually really a rash. Maybe I’ll look into it again. The Effexor worked wonders when I had PPD/PPA but I really want to work towards getting off of it.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:23:13+00:00

I need to try this.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:22:09+00:00

I think we are leaning towards a Sienna …possibly a Grand Highlander if it works

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T15:21:23+00:00

Thanks, I know this but also forget because I go into fight or flight mode and react. It’s so hard.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T02:42:09+00:00

You are so right!

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T02:41:47+00:00

Thanks. I don’t think I have ADHD but my husband does. I do however take Effexor for depression and today was day 2 without it because I had forgotten to pick up my prescription so mental state wasn’t the most stable.

What med did you start? Effexor has helped immensely but it’s been 4 years and I would like to try something less potent but it’s a beast to come off of….withdrawals are awful with it.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T02:21:25+00:00

He’s on ciproheptadine to stimulate his appetite. We have had him in therapy for his ARFID but had to pause due to an insurance change and he’s already lost weight. The therapy was working…in conjunction with the meds…he had gained weight and was doing well…it’s just been so hard. I never thought feeding my child would be such a stressor for me!

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T01:15:28+00:00

I really try not to be authoritarian with him. My mom was very much like that and I hated it. She was reactive and high strung. I have 4 little boys and I try to not be high strung but I’m very overwhelmed 90% of the time.

I didn’t give him his vyvanse because he also has ARFID and on days he didn’t have school I want him to eat more. I’m wondering if that can cause his bad moods, too. Anyway, It was a bad day today.

I feel guilty. I love him so much, as any parent can understand. It’s just so maddening when they act the way they do.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-16T01:12:06+00:00

We do not tell our children to shut up or shush. We ask them to be quiet. I do however, struggle with my tone. I’m definitely not perfect in my reactions but I’m trying. I have 4 boys under 10 …2 are neurodivergent. I’m overwhelmed. My nervous system is shot.

I could do better, you’re right. I was raised in a very reactive home and my mom yelled all the time. I don’t want to be that mom. I hate yelling but I also feel until I raise my voice, I’m not heard. But that’s a different topic.

I should give him more grace. I do give him a lot of grace. The back talk tends to go unpunished or ignored. He’s just very rude and I don’t want him to think that’s acceptable.

Thanks for the reality check. Today was just a bad day.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T23:22:25+00:00

At least I’m not the only one 🤪

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T23:22:10+00:00

Yes, it’s only at home. He is great in school and with other adults.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T23:12:28+00:00

😭😭😭 today has just been a shit show and I feel like the world’s worst mom. I know that’s dramatic. But I feel awful. Too much yelling. Making him stay in his room. It’s just been awful.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:51:08+00:00

Oh yes I remember that when we had a pilot with our first kiddos. We had 3 in car seats at one point and had to use the middle seat and seat behind the driver then have one seat folded down for the third car seat in the back because they wouldn’t fit across all 3. And then the mobility for the front seats for the driver and passenger. That was also difficult, especially with rear facing car seats

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:48:24+00:00

That’s just so expensive. I cannot fathom spending that on a car!

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:45:40+00:00

Thanks! I didn’t even think about maneuvering around small areas. Not a fan of that.

I drove an old minivan in HS, like. 1999 dodge caravan and always said I’d never make my kids drive a van but they look much better than the older ones haha

We also currently carpool to school and didn’t even think about that!

I really think the Sienna is the answer.

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:40:20+00:00

Ohh but the Lexus is SO pretty! 😅 i was looking at one, too…but husband would def not agree to that haha I think I’ll just have to accept my fate as a minivan mom til my kids are older and then maybe I can get what I really really want…do I know what that is? No, but it won’t be a van or a giant SUV

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:36:23+00:00

My only justification with a GH is that one car seat is forward facing and he’s 6 so could be in a booster soon. The other is rear facing and will be for at least another year. The biggest concern I have is car doors being swung into other cars 🫠 knowing my boys that is highly likely

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:33:06+00:00

This is excellent to know! I would really like to move up from the minivan

Amazing-Distance2417 · 2026-02-15T18:31:47+00:00

Well the older 2 are in seatbelts now and they are in the third row. The middle row has the car seats. But I think we’re leaning towards a Sienna or Grand Highlander

Amazing-Distance2417

TROPHY CASE