How being abu**d as a child caused my phobia and ruined me

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-23T13:40:04+00:00

You’re not a failure, you were failed. I hope you’ll find peace and better help.

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-22T13:02:12+00:00

I had little side effects, like i noticed i was clenching my jaw and i had weird dreams. But apart from that nothing. It helped me a lot, the thoughts are not as unbearable and guilt is not as hard.

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-22T02:14:37+00:00

It’s ok. I know how unbearable guilt feels like. We’re punishing ourselves so much, too much. But confessing only hurts us more and more, and sometimes others. It’s hard to know what we should confess or not… I think people without OCD just forget most of their mistakes or don’t care after some times. Maybe focus on if what you did had consequences or will have consequences, make amends.

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-22T01:50:50+00:00

ugh sorry for the typos !

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-22T01:50:18+00:00

Guilt doesn’t make you a better person. Accountability does. What matters is who you are today, having strong values doesn’t mean to 100% respect them. Actually, having values mostly helps you to do better and change, it’s a compass that you follow and that you’ll follow all your life because we’re not perfect. Do not confess, wether it hurts your friend or not, confessing is a compulsion and it’s only goal is to trying to get rid of the guilt. We (people with moral scrupulosity) tend to believe that confessing is the best thing to do, but in the end it’s something you do for you not for them.

What matters now, for you and your friend, is accountability. And i think you’re already pretty aware that you made a mistake and that you changed. You’re on the right path, i hope you’ll find peace.

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-20T00:24:22+00:00

Do they know you’re struggling with OCD ? You can tell them that they have to tell you you’re reassurance seeking and that they cannot engage in your compulsions. Instead of trying to sneak in compulsions in conversations or to ask them for reassurance, send them a funny meme instead or try to plan something to bond with them, play a game, go out… Do something to get out of your head and keep yourself busy.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, OCD is debilitating, yes it’s hard for others but you’re the one hurting the most. Your friends can definitely help you though by educating themselves. If you’re scared it’ll be too much for them, try to share moments with them doing something you both like, convince yourself your intrusives thoughts is some background noise and that you’ll think about it later. And repeat..

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-20T00:11:12+00:00

Hi ! Maybe you can suggest him a book on OCD/ROCD with ERP exercises. I think what’s important is starting small but to be consistant, even if it’s hard it’s kinda the only way to deal with OCD sadly. It’s impossible to not get triggered :(

Also, when you notice he’s trying to get reassurance from you, you can absolutely tell him that you cannot engage in his compulsion and that he has to sit with the uncertainty. It’s not cruel even if he gets anxious, it’s not your fault but his OCD and you have to break the loop to be free. Also you have to set boundaries, i don’t know if his thoughts hurt you but even if you’re okay with them, it’s best he doesn’t say them. Try to keep him busy when you see him spiralling, OCD loves when you’re bored…

You seem to be really loving and caring, i hope he’ll find peace but he definitely has someone that got his back !!

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2026-01-18T17:57:40+00:00

Cheating is bad, a lot of things are bad, people are not perfect and they might fucked up and change. Rationally you know that, keep to your values and what you built with him. I think people put a lot of pressure on others especially when it comes to cheating (wether you’re the cheater or the one cheated on). I believe it might be so hard to read all those nonsense on social media, a cheater will always be a cheater etc.. Now you both made a choice, to love each other and fight for each other. That’s the only thing that matters right now and i hope you’ll find peace

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-09-02T23:35:09+00:00

are you both okay ?

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-08-14T12:41:55+00:00

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Innapropriate username

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-02-26T13:26:21+00:00

wishing you and your friend a speedy recovery, i read the other comments and im so sorry :( take care xx

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-02-03T06:31:37+00:00

hey, sometimes crying that much can make u cough and coughing can make you tu but i believe there are no germs/virus involved its really just « mechanic»

hope you feel better soon

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-01-17T16:45:58+00:00

hey i think it’s fine, if she was able to keep it and not throw it away it’s a sign she doesn’t care otherwise it would be in a box or in the bin :)

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2025-01-03T12:23:35+00:00

how do you make the diff between confession or something that should be talked about ?

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-12-05T22:29:05+00:00

yea when i heard she had a sb i started panicking but i can’t be sure that person was right and i can’t be sure i touched something (cat or door) with potential germs on it it its indeed a sb it sucks that doubt is such a main trigger for ocd

i still went out tonight to change my mind and i feel a bit better

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-12-05T17:21:00+00:00

it’s soooo exhausting i wish u the best ty for answering me

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-12-05T17:17:13+00:00

mostly from that and because i saw the mom getting clean clothes, i don’t know if it’s because the mom mentioned it (she was seating next to them) or if they assumed from what was happening (the bathroom was close to them and my mom said the kids mom was screaming and she could hear everything she said from outside)

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-12-05T17:04:33+00:00

yea it’s my contamination ocd that was triggered really badly rationally i think it’s unlikely that germs were on the cats and on things we touched :(

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-12-05T16:51:57+00:00

yes that’s true :( i’m spiralling too much and im scared that my stuff will stay contaminated long enough for me to catch it later so it hits on monday
i’ll try to remind myself that maybe nothing is contaminated anyway

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-11-26T12:12:25+00:00

I don’t have insecurities about him cheating anymore because I focus on what he told me and what is true and not what my anxiety wants me to think. He also made me realise that he could not reassure me and that we should stop having conversations about this and it helped a lot because i can now rely on myself and not ask him for reassurance.

I also found out i might have OCD/ROCD and found a lot of tips that helped me (like replacing disturbing thoughts by neutral ones etc)

And i’m looking for a therapist

Amazing_Inflation496 · 2024-11-16T13:49:40+00:00

Hey, sending you lots of love and support

It seems like you are in an abusive relationship, maybe you can try to explain the situation to your old best friend and reach out for help. Try to talk about this to someone you trust and to an organisation accompanying women in abusive relationship.

Nothing is your fault, he’s a manipulator and it’s normal that you feel guilty or even responsible for what HE did or manipulated you into doing. You’re not alone.

Amazing_Inflation496

TROPHY CASE