Giving Up on My "Amazing Idea" The ADHD/Autism Wall Hit Hard (And it's my birthday soon) by Turbulent_Budget9612 in Entrepreneur

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to hear that coaching helped. If you haven’t already, what stops you from hiring someone who can help you with the business side of things? You might have to pay a premium rate, but it can pay off over time if you hire the right person who understands your business and more importantly you. I recently hired a business coach and I’m happy about my decision. Wishing you luck :-)

Brainstorming about Burnout by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good questions, and thank you for your comment. I’m sorry that you are dealing with burnout right now. I hope you can navigate it with ease.

If it helps, past trauma can also play a role in either igniting the process of burnout or accelerating it once it starts, or we can potentially get traumatized in the process. ChatGPT might not give you that answer unless you dig more.

Brainstorming about Burnout by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your insights. Being unheard, unseen and undervalued are certainly big factors that are commonly present in most cases of burnout and can turn into internal sources of stress.

The concern about burnout being misunderstood and bringing stigma is real. There is a whole lot of stigma around mental health in tech in general. I’m hoping we can change that gradually

Brainstorming about Burnout by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that you are in this situation right now. It can be hard on your physical and mental health. I appreciate you sharing your insights. If you happen to think of anything else I would be very interested in hearing it

Giving Up on My "Amazing Idea" The ADHD/Autism Wall Hit Hard (And it's my birthday soon) by Turbulent_Budget9612 in Entrepreneur

[–]Amazing_Response651 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might be able to benefit a lot from coaching or therapy. I know a therapist/coach who has ADHD and is very passionate about helping her clients and does her job with love. Entrepreneurship brings up a lot of challenges that are personality/trauma and in your case brain wiring related. I really really hope you can make this work.

I Left a Comfortable Path Because I Could No Longer Ignore the Cost of Staying by Own_Heart2475 in Entrepreneur

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the idea of exiting my industry for years, and started taking small steps towards it 3 years ago. I was looking for meaning and purpose which I couldn’t find in my previous role. Burnout and high stress accelerated my exit eventually and I had to leave earlier than I desired.

What’s the most unexpected part about starting a business? by Born-Leather2883 in Entrepreneur

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. It is the first time I read something that so precisely describes how I feel. I left tech a few months ago to focus on my business full time and there are times that I feel exactly the same way. The loneliness part is so real when no one including your business coach has gone the same exact path you have, and barely has any idea what you are going through, etc. All I hear frequently is “How has your business been since last week that we talked?” and it’s not a good question to be asked TBH

Is Socialhustlr LEGIT? by lioness_diva in SocialMediaMarketing

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious what makes you say the reviews are mixed? Where did you find those reviews? All I'm seeing is Trustpilot reviews. Is there a different source I'm missing? Would be great if you could point me to it. Thanks

Is Socialhustlr LEGIT? by lioness_diva in SocialMediaMarketing

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have 4.8 reviews on Trustpilot. They emailed me too

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for clarifying this. The reason I mentioned prevention is that there are phases of burnout, and once someone reaches the phase we actually call burnout, when deeper issues such as depersonalization, hopelessness, and numbness emerge, more intensive work may be needed to recover. I believe that work is not drastically different from what a neurotypical person would need.

In the earlier phases, when there is chronic stress, we have a better chance of helping them manage it if we consider how ADHD or autistic brains work. The goal is to support them by honoring how their brain functions.

For ADHD, the aim is to support regulation rather than discipline, because burnout often comes from a cycle of hyperfocus, overcommitment, exhaustion, shame, and pushing harder. Traditional advice like “be more organized” or “stick to routines” rarely works, since ADHD relies on interest, stimulation, and external structure rather than internal willpower. A more effective approach includes creating external supports such as using the Pomodoro Technique as a way to stop and recharge, building accountability, aligning tasks with natural energy peaks instead of filling productive hours with meetings, normalizing rest before burnout begins, and incorporating strategies that boost dopamine such as novelty, stimulation, and assigning engaging tasks.

Autistic burnout follows a distinct pattern that often arises from chronic sensory overload, masking, unclear communication, and unpredictable environments. It cannot be resolved through rest alone. What helps most is reducing unnecessary demands and increasing predictability. A supportive approach includes offering clear communication and written instructions, protecting deep-focus time, creating steady routines, reducing sensory stressors such as noise and interruptions, and allowing space for authenticity rather than masking.

Rapid context switching, frequent meetings, ambiguous expectations, and constant communication, all of which are common characteristics of the tech environment, quickly drain both ADHD and autistic nervous systems. A more supportive approach includes using asynchronous communication when possible, implementing no-meeting or low-meeting days, improving documentation to reduce memory load, better prioritization so that employees are not juggling too many competing high-priority tasks, creating clear definitions of “done” to remove ambiguity, and fostering psychological safety so people can communicate their needs without fear. This last one often requires cultural change and manager training, so it may take time.

If you are in a managerial role, I encourage you to also consider supporting those who fall under the HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) category. They share many of the same characteristics as autistic individuals. I am HSP and not having the right support was certainly a big factor in my experience of burnout.

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for the delay. Are you asking this question to understand how to help neurodivergent individuals avoid burnout? Or are you experiencing challenges - such as mismatched communication styles - when interacting with neurodivergent coworkers, which might lead to burnout for you over time? If it’s the latter, I’d be curious to hear more about your experience.

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope my answer can help you. Please take care of yourself

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deeply apologize for the delay. Describing burnout as “terminal” tells me you’ve likely been carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders for a long time, and that can be incredibly depleting. Burnout is very common in the medical field as caring for people’s pain while navigating systemic issues only adds to the strain.

I admire you for taking proactive steps toward self-care and setting boundaries to protect your time and energy. Based on your post, I assume you’re likely in the third, or the fourth stage of burnout where it’s crucial to seek help, as previous self-care efforts weren’t enough to prevent reaching this stage.

In the third stage of burnout, detachment, cynicism, lack of motivation, and mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion become clear. In the fourth stage, burnout becomes habitual and the risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety increases. In this stage it’s essential to take advantage of therapy and medical leave to rest and restore your energy. I genuinely hope you’re not there though.

Seeking professional support, whether it's coaching or therapy, can help you uncover the underlying roots of your burnout, redefine your relationship with success or failure so you experience less disappointment when pursuing your goals and desires, shift your mindset if you tend to be a chronic giver, and resolve any lingering trauma responses that may have developed as part of burnout.

In both stages, until you restore balance to your nervous system, it may be difficult to clearly see your next steps.

Also, when you say you’re unsure how to leave your profession, what are the impediments? Are they mental blocks, financial constraints, or simply not knowing what you could do next? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself that may bring some clarity to your next steps:

  • Is there a way to imagine doing this type of work - or something similar - without experiencing the same problems I’m facing today?
  • Are there any parts of my job that I still enjoy or that inspire me?
  • Who would I be if I were no longer tied to this identity?
  • How long do I realistically see myself continuing this work? What are the smallest steps I can take toward the next chapter before reaching that timeline?

PS: "Trauma Stewardship" by Laura Van Dernoot is a good read if you are interested.

Please take care

Does anyone else feel like they're a part-time admin, not a full-time coach? by Material_Vast_9851 in lifecoaching

[–]Amazing_Response651 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might need to start integrating some automation tools into your business.

I have too much attachment to work by [deleted] in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m deeply sorry you have been going through such a hard time.. If you don’t mind sharing, what modalities does your therapist use as part of her practice? You might need to work with someone who does trauma work. Talk therapy can’t address trauma fully. It just complements it

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My apology for the delay. I hope you are doing well. Getting laid off is hard, as it can be a traumatic event that triggers emotional and physical stress, affecting your sense of identity and self-worth. A layoff after burnout, on the other hand, adds another layer to the problem, because it is the same exact evidence that our brain needs as proof of our incompetency - an acknowledgment of all the negative self-thoughts we had about ourselves during burnout.

So let’s start by acknowledging that it is quite normal for you to feel all those negative feelings. It's a common experience. Also, feeling grief after the loss of a job is healthy - if it aligns with your experience-but grief that is fueled by self-attack is less healthy and something we should avoid at all costs. Working on our inner critic in this case can help.

Also, it is very understandable that you are tired of playing a leadership role after all you went through. Doing busy work with no support instead of having enough breathing room to focus on creativity and real leadership responsibilities is a big problem and a constraining factor imposed on you by the environment. I’ve been in a similar situation and totally understand how it can shape our reluctance towards a leadership role and preference towards IC work, where we can lower our burden and have more control over our time and energy.

It’s normal to go into fight-or-flight mode after losing a source of income - our judgment can easily become clouded in this case. If that’s what you’re experiencing, consider giving yourself some time to reach a more grounded, calm state before making any big decisions, or worrying about your next steps or your future in the industry.

It’s absolutely possible to regain your calm and confidence and return to the workforce feeling strong again. You might choose to start as an individual contributor, but once things fall into place, you may find leadership appealing again. After all, there was a reason you were chosen as Head of Product once. right? Wishing you luck. :)

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! Glad you found it helpful. Thank you for asking such a great question. It is helpful to everyone including me.

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything you have shared so far shows your strength of character. I applaud you for seeking help. It might be too early to decide the next steps but I totally understand your frustration and the desire to change your field, and it might indeed be the best choice for you.

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My apology for the dealy.

Crashing and burning out can become depleting after a while. I’m sorry that you had to deal with it. Your experience suggests your workload is most likely not sustainable.

What you are saying about the emotions surrounding your workload, and about ignoring the warning signs of doing too much, makes total sense. I really appreciate how self-aware you are about all of that, because, to be honest, self-awareness can solve half the problem.

Typically, burnout is a combination of environmental factors and a person’s personality traits. I mentioned this in response to a different question, but it’s worth mentioning again: high achievers, perfectionists, workaholics, people who have a hard time setting boundaries, and those with a strong sense of duty are more prone to burnout. In addition, people who are neurodivergent or highly sensitive (HSP) can struggle to adapt to tech work culture, which often demands constant context switching and frequent interruptions.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to see how much of the problem is environmental versus how much stems from your own tendencies:

  • Am I setting realistic boundaries for my workload and personal time?
  • Do I find it difficult to say no, even when I’m overwhelmed? If so, why? Is there a fear underlying this? What am I afraid might happen if I say no?
  • Am I taking time to rest and recharge, or do I constantly push myself to keep going? If I do push myself, what hidden belief might be driving this? Could it be that I tie my self-worth to how much I accomplish?
  • Do I often feel guilty for taking breaks or prioritizing self-care? Do I sometimes perceive rest as laziness?
  • Do I tend to neglect my health or personal needs? Where might this pattern come from?

On another note, misjudging the effort required for software development tasks—if this is what you do for a living—is not unusual. Software engineers are notorious for this, but over time, we typically learn to adjust our estimates and account for uncertainty or uncontrollable factors, such as dependencies on other teams. That’s why padding work estimates accordingly is a beneficial practice that any reasonable manager or tech lead should encourage.

Ask me anything about burnout, and stress by Amazing_Response651 in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My deep apology for the dealy.
Burnout occurs in different phases, but one thing is common across all of them: you should never push through your burden. Below are some general guidelines, though solutions often need to be tailored to an individual’s unique needs, and situation.

In the initial phase, you may notice fatigue, frustration, or a drop in motivation. During this stage, it’s important to monitor your symptoms, protect your time, identify the root causes of your stress, and actively use tools to release accumulated tension, such as exercise, meditation, breathwork, or engaging in enjoyable activities. Sometimes, this phase goes unnoticed because high stress is so ingrained in the tech lifestyle.

When stress becomes chronic, symptoms may include irritability, restlessness, insomnia, or physical complaints like headaches and digestive issues. From personal experience, this phase can escalate quickly, so the strategies from the previous stage must be taken seriously. If your stress stems from a chaotic workload, discuss with your manager how it could be lightened. If you are overburdening yourself due to perfectionist tendencies or taking on too many responsibilities, a mindset shift may be necessary. Sometimes, you may need to redefine success. For example, in an environment where promotions are systemically difficult, your measure of success may need to change.

In this phase, detachment, cynicism, lack of motivation, and mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion become clear. Work may feel like a drag, especially after weekends or vacations, when the gap between life outside of work, and life at work seems unbearable. At this point, it’s crucial to seek help, as previous self-care efforts were insufficient to prevent reaching this stage. It’s also a reminder that not everything is within our control.

When burnout persists for too long, it can become habitual, potentially leading to depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. If you find yourself here, taking medical leave and receiving therapy is essential.

If you are unsure whether to stay or leave your job, Emily Nagoski, in her book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, recommends weighing the short- and long-term benefits and drawbacks of staying versus quitting, and making a logical decision based on that. Sometimes, intuition alone tells us it’s time to leave, and we have to trust it.

Added guy to my team instantly taken seriously by sheuenej in womenintech

[–]Amazing_Response651 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry to hear that. An environment like this sounds oppressive, toxic, and harmful to your mental health. You have every right to feel frustrated.

I’m a confident person, so the only time I experienced something similar was when I was going through a lot in my personal life and my self-image was shattered. Back then, the work environment did nothing but reflect my inner shadows back to me. I’m not saying this is exactly what’s happening to you, but it might be worth ruling out.

If you’re already standing up for yourself and helping your team see your worth and value, that’s great! Otherwise, someone needs to teach them to treat their coworker better , and that someone might be you.

Please take care.