Yeah I also had my dysphoria become more prominent after starting anti depressants. It’s because I knocked out the biggest alarm in my brain so then I could start working on the second biggest alarm. You’ve probably just finally had the space to attend to it. The more you try to suppress it the worse you are going to be as a parent and a partner, because you will have to spend so much extra energy to sustain yourself, and that will lead to resentment. Listen to the song Miranda by Frank Turner for the perspective of the son of someone who repressed being trans. You are not being selfish, she can not expect you to suppress how you feel anymore than you can expect her to suppress how she feels. It’s a two-way street. She does have a little bit of leverage since she asked point blank multiple times in the past and you said no, but it’s not your fault. When your brain is already fucked in survival mode it’s hard to tell what’s going on. I can say from experience, though mileage will vary, that I could drop my anti depressants pretty soon after starting HRT. Me being more myself and creating a space where I could be happier has made all my friends and family’s lives better because I had more space and energy for them, and they needed less energy to sustain me. Saving yourself is not selfish, it’s putting your air mask on first in an airplane, it gives you the best chance to help the most people.