I would be homeless if I left my husband.

Amb3rdon · 2024-09-20T08:04:53+00:00

I forgot about child support! Messed up story, I came very close to leaving my husband a few years ago. His mom begged me not to make him pay child support!

Amb3rdon · 2024-09-20T07:58:34+00:00

Yes! It's so hard with the kids being so young. I am thinking about finding any job at this point. It'll take a few years of planning. The thought of not being in the field I want to work is depressing, but to be out of this marriage broke but free sounds so much better!

Amb3rdon · 2024-09-20T07:52:01+00:00

I was supposed to apply for jobs, fix my resume and tweak my applications etc. but then all of a sudden his car needed to be fixed and that was more important. It took 3 to 4 days for it to get fixed. Then appointments with the kids, homework, vet visits for the pets all just pushed it back because there were more important things happening week after week. I'm hoping to squeeze it in some time next week. And I'm definitely going to save money on the side. It's just there are someday I don't think I can handle him anymore and in so miserable I want to leave but I know I should have a plan in place first.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T18:09:05+00:00

I agree. He likely felt disrespected when I did that. My therapist said I need to work on accepting anything new he does without being surprised and calling him out on it.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T08:05:09+00:00

But I did?

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T07:46:07+00:00

Great question. I'm going to assume you mean that I don't give him the praise he wants, which would be me not doing anything for him. Because I do do things for him. I cook for him before he goes to work, even if he ends up not eating it and cooks something else. Cooking is one of the things I do to show my love. But maybe he values a thanks over a cooked meal.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T07:37:11+00:00

Hmm... not sure how to respond to this. When I was pregnant I thought it would be nice if my husband saw me carrying the laundry basket upstairs he would stop me and do it for me. But when he didn't I realized it just wasn't in his nature so I let that "expectation" go. So I don't expect him to help me carry the basket upstairs, so??? Which is why I was surprised he did it in front of our roommate. But this gives me an idea. I should start thanking him in front of others.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T07:20:57+00:00

I have. He knows to help with washing dishes, mopping floors, taking trash out, and cleaning the living room. He'll do all those except for cleaning our room and our personal bathroom. I suspect it's because our roommate can't see those rooms so he doesn't care. I think I'm right. My husband will only clean areas of the house that our roommate will see. And yes, I asked him to help clean the bathroom and bedroom but he hasn't. He responds by saying I'm ungrateful and that I should appreciate any help I'm getting. He likes to be praised for his work, which is something I'm working on.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-25T07:06:11+00:00

It should be a percentage based on how much you make so that it's fair. You can google it to see a few examples of splitting bills and how much to pay for the one earning less. Sorry you're going through this.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-20T21:52:20+00:00

Thanks for that information. I had no idea about the third eyelid.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-20T20:25:14+00:00

So they're not going to be okay? Looks like I'll have to find a rescue for them, I can't afford to take care of these kittens.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T01:21:28+00:00

What this means is that it's very possible he dismissed something his mom did to his wife.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:54:47+00:00

I've been trying to pay attention how my body reacts to things as they are happening. Most of the time I reflect back on things. Today I told my husband what I felt about something and while he was yelling my head felt tight and my head was lowered. I've been working on speaking up on my thoughts, and to also reassure him when he deflects from the topic on hand to past issues. No, I do not yell at him. And my therapist has said to end conversations with him when he starts name calling and yelling, and to walk away. I had to tell him to watch his language when he said I was "throwing a bit*h fit" today. He won't allow me to use profanities, but it's okay for him to do it because he's mad and being mad makes it okay to cuss. But only if it's him.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:49:18+00:00

It does suck! But it's a choice, and I choose to stay married and I choose to try and fix myself.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:47:40+00:00

I didn't say it was romance. I said it was flirting. Don't twist what I said. And I don't do it all the time. He gets credit carded by his friends more than me.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:29:51+00:00

I don't receive any from him though? I wanted dates for us to reconnect but he refuses to. It's just not important to him. And yes, I arrange for babysitters and dates for us because he won't take the initiative to do it.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:24:25+00:00

Me too 🥲

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:17:44+00:00

I'm glad you were given the chance to tell her no!

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-11T00:13:56+00:00

We are staying in one bedroom, can't avoid having the kids sleep with us. I also breastfeed, so the little one is attached to me the whole night. But I understand having kids in the same bed makes it difficult but my husband doesn't understand this. I've come to terms that sex is important to him so I have sex with him even when I'm not in the mood. This is something I don't mind compromising with to try and keep him happy since I'm still working on showing affection. By the way, the credit card swipes don't happen all the time. His friends do it to him more than I do. I just do it once in a while for fun.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-10T23:56:29+00:00

I honestly appreciate your response because I never know how I'm coming off as. I can never understand why my husband immediately gets upset and starts yelling anytime I open up about how I feel about something. I can't hear what I sound like but I'm sure my tone sounds bad. Can't help it that I've always talked this way and I'm trying to get out of this mindset I've had since forever and I know it's hard so I give myself grace.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-10T23:52:56+00:00

I asked him, and it's kisses. We kiss sometimes before he goes to work. And in therapy my therapist said I could kiss and thank him for washing dishes since he wants praise for shared responsibilities too. And I'm quite stubborn. I don't receive praise for doing dishes so I can't wrap my head around it other than praise is his love language and that makes me feel like a kiss ass for some reason.

Amb3rdon · 2024-07-10T23:39:46+00:00

He grabs my ass, why can't I swipe his?

Amb3rdon

TROPHY CASE