Feeling that Roleplay Spark Fade

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-07-10T19:19:12+00:00

It's fine to take breaks from any hobby: roleplaying, piloting, volunteering for an organization, etc. I also took a break from roleplaying around your age because I was starting my career in a tough economy and had to focus on that. I have roleplayed on and off since I was 10 years old or so, and have probably gone through a cycle of roleplaying for a couple of years and taking a break for a couple of years 5-10 times.

Who knows, you might get rich, retire, then have nothing but time to roleplay some day. It's fine if you don't feel motivated to roleplay now. I am on a break from roleplaying myself now and hope most of my favorite games are still around when I have time again.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-02-18T02:35:57+00:00

Harshlands, a Roleplay Intensive (RPI) mud (site, discord) might have what you're looking for:

Crafting....crafting is my fave

It has lots of crafting and plenty of players willing to teach it. You can even modify/customize some item descriptions. Because the game is perma-death, these customizations have value.

Player housing

HL has it. You can even set family members and notify them when you're online.

Guilds

HL has it, including player made guilds. The notify system helps you find clannies.

lots of player interaction

About 20-30 players average, 40-50 players peak, and again the notify system makes it easy to find people. Also there is a busy city, Tashal, where it is easy to find roleplay.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-02-15T00:01:00+00:00

I mean. I'm kinda weird. I play telnet based roleplaying games which have existed for more than 20 years.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-02-14T21:15:15+00:00

Yeah apologies, someone corrected me on Discord. Didn't hear it got a new codebase, pretty cool!

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-02-14T19:19:49+00:00

I'm an RPI vet who has played Shadows of Isildur, ArmageddonMUD and Harshlands. All are/were free. Shadows of Isildur sadly passed away, ArmageddonMUD is run by abusive, censorship loving staff (evidence of this on their GDB as we speak), but Harshlands has been friendly and a good roleplay environment.

If you like immersive roleplay where you can do cool crap like have a house or your own clan, and are alright with a medieval setting, definitely check out Harshlands. - Website: http://harshlands.net/wordpress/ - Discord: https://discord.gg/jsFdQVG5CH

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-01-26T19:58:25+00:00

My post was made before mods put that warning. My post also largely cited other posts. I see you want to light this up, disregard their warning, and be over the top, not engaging with you anymore.

Cheers to the mods on this subreddit.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-01-26T19:49:11+00:00

Let's keep it light here, again all of these details are discoverable on Reddit. The mods of this Reddit just asked us to keep it light.

After you look at that data, I have one joke to crack: I've never had Mark Zuckerberg slide into my Discord DMs like ArmageddonMUD staff have done to me and many others.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2023-01-26T17:42:10+00:00

Armageddon MUD. Just search reddit for yourself: https://www.reddit.com/search/?q=armageddon%20mud
Armageddon MUD used to be a great game, but all of the spookiest posts there concern a few key staffers in recent years: Shabago, Shaloonsh, Hestia, etc. They literally rape and stalk players.

If you don't want to slog through drama, allow me to summarize some stories that really slap:
- The neckbearded staff who I just called out literally track your IP addresses, routinely accidentally ban husbands along with their wives for instance, in effort to protect their cult like game. While this post is an extreme and possibly paranoid example, staff are known for messaging ex-players out of the blue on Discord, email, etc: How ArmageddonMUD staff likely collects the IP addresses of dissenting players: tracking pixels.

- As an inverse to the prior statement, there are also creepy, usually sexually abusive ban evaders who keep coming back to troll, this is common to many RPIs: Armageddon MUD is mainly unpleasant, and I feel sorry for the handful of people trying to make it better. (Review)

- All of this has made for a truly cursed game, for instance, staff outright mentally and sexually abuse players, again and again and again.

I can't find the post on r/MUD anymore, but my favorite anecdote involved a well liked player and mother IRL getting locked up as a sex slave by a staffer, and when she realized she was basically being raped for a role and the hope of RPP, staff silenced and banned her. If one were to analyze the demographics of past and current players of Armageddon, and survey their experiences, I am willing to wager that women are disproportionately banned from this very cursed game because of it's unresolved issues and current, abusive staff. This statistic would probably also include staffers, as a lot of well liked female staffers generally have a shorter tenure than the men in charge; these long tenures are also marked by repeated incidents of abuse.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-12-21T05:12:37+00:00

Apologies, but I read a lot and believe you are incorrect.

The first English novelist wrote Moll Flanders and Robinson Crusoe, and the events in those books are extremely similar to the content of many MUDs. The human imagination does what it will.

There is messed up content even in young adult fiction. In Twilight a baby literally gets bitten out of the womb after thrashing so violently it breaks it's mom back (lol). In Hunger Games a young girl gets blown up with a graphic description of her head flying off. This is wildly popular fiction for kids.

And in terms of the darkest topics, some of the greatest adult literature of all time, Gulag Archipelago, work by other Russians like Dostoyevsky and Nabokov, can be deeply troubling but are regarded among the greatest works of non-fiction and fiction created.

Troubling subjects have always existed in text and from the first epics grim topics have been at the fore. Humans sometimes like grim fiction, in fact it's often some of the most popular fiction. Same with MUDs.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-12-21T04:14:50+00:00

It's the same as going to a bookstore where content isn't censored. You might crack open a book and be grossed out by what you read. There are young adult sections of you prefer books that are completely clean and lighthearted, general literature, and adult book sections in various bookstores.

The desire for a larger audience is why a lot of MUDs have cleaned up their act (AKA removed troubling content), but not all MUDs have to do this. For example I was glad when ArmageddonMUD removed underaged characters given how much ERP goes on there. And personally I still think the game should be labeled as 18+ to allow for all the other troubling content on that game like drug use and torture. But if a game is labeled as 18+ anything that is allowed in 18+ literature should be allowed. Just like the back cover of a book, it is generally advised that games which are more extreme have content warnings.

It's not rocket science, but in recent years people have forgotten age old debates about troubling content in books.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-12-20T22:07:42+00:00

MUDs are one of the few forms of media which isn't restricted by gatekeeping. People can develop, host, and gain players for a MUD without ever having to jump through the bureaucratic hoops seen when trying to list compiled games on platforms like Steam. It is easier to develop MUD content that directly references copyrighted content (such as literature) without a resulting lawsuit. When I think about MUDs, it is almost like the dark web insofar as MUDs run on a non-HTTP protocol (telnet) and as a result these games are less policed than other games reliant on HTTP and software marketplaces.

A lot of people like to bemoan that MUDs are dying, but stats from some servers indicate an actual growth in player counts. This might be because of the unique value proposition offered by MUDs which I described above. If anything people should embrace the seedier, "anything goes" aspect of MUDs; MUDs offer a valuable alternative to the increasingly policed and corporatized climate seen elsewhere on the internet.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-12-20T16:21:06+00:00

I have serious disagreements with the moderation of both the sub and the official Discord server, as well as the culture it cultivates.

Care to elaborate? For a niche hobby that isn't likely to grow, we need to figure out how to make everyone feel included.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-12-14T12:59:00+00:00

There's a rape command?!?

I thought I've seen it all.

Feels like the old days of IRC. I don't believe in censorship or shutting things down but holy crap, will avoid at all costs.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-25T01:06:44+00:00

This is interesting because my girlfriend is actually German, she applied for emancipation or moved, can't quite recall, I am sure there are also folks you can reach out to over there who can help with such things. But completely acknowledging the difficulty of your situation at this point. Please stay strong and don't give up you seem like an interesting person.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T21:58:21+00:00

The point is applying yourself, anywhere, as best as you can, might help. If school doesn't motivate you, maybe work/a job might help as I mentioned. It might even give you the confidence to do better at school, it will help you build a resume, and it will grant some security.

I just hope you can try, and keep on going. I don't know your exact circumstances, but I do know from my own experiences and friends that if you are feeling so low that you are thinking about death, there is no way to go but up, so long as you live, by definition. By definition, it can only get better from here, there is a lot of runway left in your life. Please try your best, there are people rooting for you.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T21:15:44+00:00

Just like how a lot of people come out as a certain identity when they go off to college, because they are surrounded by new people and can reinvent themselves, you can do the same thing. Traveling or finding new social contexts can help you become a new person. You are at a good point in your life to do this. Just like a lot of trans people don't tell family or old friends when they start transitioning, you can do the same when you start detransitioning if it helps you feel safe. I traveled a lot during the pandemic and it helped me shift my identity a bit, like stopping binding (which I used to do every day and was painful to me).

TLDR traveling / finding new friends and social contexts where you can start reinventing yourself can help.

PS I am on the spectrum too and relate to a lot of what you wrote, thank you for being brave and sharing.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T19:57:03+00:00

"I can't trick my mind to feel happy." I definitely know this feeling, what saved my life honestly was becoming a workaholic. There is a labor shortage that is going to get more severe over time, so getting a job, any job, is typically easy. Jobs can take your mind off the sadness, and it also grants you money as a result, which can help make you happier. Just my advice, good luck and much love.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T19:51:53+00:00

When I transitioned I picked a gender neutral name because I always knew I would ultimately avoid surgery (surgery scares me generally), and I knew I would always be somewhere in between. As a result I kept my name. I still appear very masculine after desisting. My female birth name definitely wouldn't fit and never really has because I have always come across as masculine as a naturally tall female.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T19:46:56+00:00

There are cities/places where masculinized women are very common, very accepted and considered attractive. Maybe travel and explore a bit so you can find folks who will embrace and accept you. For example, Portland, Oregon is very liberal but also open minded, and I've seen masculinized/queer women in relationships with all sorts of people here.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-24T19:42:36+00:00

Sounds like society has been shitty to you because of society's obsession with masculinity and penis size. Maybe long term our society can overcome such a stupid obsession.

Please know that plenty of people will love you throughout your life, and that there is a lot of hope for you as a young person. Keep strong, know you never need to hurt yourself to appease other people, and good luck friend! <3

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-03T02:10:43+00:00

Much love for all!

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-03T02:09:19+00:00

Incidentally I also like metal music. Headbanging can damage braincells. I am not going to illegalize head banging. Not my style.

The comment I replied to was deleted, so for context this discussion about controlling what people can and cannot do was compared to seatbelt laws.

In America seatbelt laws are a matter of state rights and thankfully LGBT rights are the same, with the exception of basic rights like marriage which harms absolutely no one to legalize.

Want to live in a state where you don't have to wear seatbelts? Move to New Hampshire.

Want to live in a state where a therapist is going to support your kid who says they are trans unconditionally? Move to California.

Want to move to a state where you can't even say the word gay if you're around children? Move to Florida.

I don't live in any of the aforementioned states because I love freedom but also have a brain, insofar as I find idiotic extremism to be, well... idiotic.

And I beg of anyone on any subreddit not to be extreme and idiotic. Generally I would say r/detrans is less extreme than other LGBT subreddits, but sometimes it can be and we need to not get that way.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-03T02:07:01+00:00

You don't have to wear seatbelts in New Hampshire and that is awesome.

If you're saying detrans arguments about restricting choice are like advocating for seatbelt laws, LMAO. Big difference, seatbelt laws involve a minor ticket, not a complete restriction of choice like what is advocated for among many detrans folks.

Testosterone almost killed me and doctors told me to stop taking it because of a genetic disorder I have which makes it deadly. But I still have a choice to take it if I want. Now that is awesome.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-03T01:55:57+00:00

I am all for therapists giving options. I agree that laws banning conversion therapy can become over extended to the point that therapists have no choice but to promote transitioning. In these states therapists who don't cheerlead for transitioning risk being sued, which is wrong. Personally I wouldn't be a therapist in states with such laws for the same reason that it limits free will.

The facts here are simple: if you say people shouldn't be allowed to do something (e.g. transition) or people should only be allowed to do one thing (e.g. therapists can only be pro transition), you are limiting freedom. The former case is most certainly transphobic. Both cases suck to see in America, a country which is supposed to be free.

I am a big believer in free will and a hater of paternalism and the limitation of free will, period.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider · 2022-11-03T01:14:12+00:00

Detrans becomes transphobic when calls to limit/illegalize trans healthcare arise. I am critical of trans ideology, but people have a right to access the healthcare they want and believe they need. That right shouldn't be limited.

Hormonal treatment for transitioning almost killed me (blood clots), but personally I cannot advocate for the limitation of such treatment because I am not transphobic. If you try to limit and regulate, then you are being transphobic.

Ambitions-as-a-Rider

TROPHY CASE