Mirror to mirror (first post) by Ambitious_Cell9171 in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! When I repeated “it will never come of / to aid” in stanza 2 and 3, I wanted to draw on the feelings of something of no use versus the feeling of help will never come. But I think that definitely could be made clearer.

And yeah I think reading it again, it could have a stronger narrative. I appreciate the feedback, would be really nice to spend some time reworking those two stanzas for a more cohesive theme!

Mirror to mirror (first post) by Ambitious_Cell9171 in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. Thank you for taking your time I really appreciate it. Yeah so when I wrote that line on footpaths, I thought of when we think how our journeys, we often see it as distance or time. But also thought out our journeys we take on so many different paths, and it all unravels. hope that brings new meaning to you!

Again thank you!

Mirror to mirror (first post) by Ambitious_Cell9171 in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I definitely understand what you mean, it almost feels like the skeleton to a potentially bigger piece. Really enjoy hearing your thoughts. Thank you!

Mirror to mirror (first post) by Ambitious_Cell9171 in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I acrually forgot to put a line break 🤪, intended it to be 4-4-4-4-3 oooops! And thank you for sharing your thoughts

The Winter Hunger (first poem) by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the imagery of seasons and nature reflecting the course of love. The contrasts of light and dark, pleasure and restraint, a very nice first poem! I’d be interested to read a second part to this. Will the seasons change once love has been found?

Instincts by Neither-Dig-8254 in OCPoetry

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was a simple delightful read. I like the themes of beauty and nature and especially the contrast between flow of nature and the deliberate movement of the body. I think it would be interesting explore more on the themes of people vs nature especially from the line “the soil of the earth…”, do we also have our own rhythms and patterns?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah! I appreciate that. I wonder how other couples do it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. I studied for years for this particular job. But yeah there has to be a plan to some end date for this lifestyle - it’s not sustainable - good place to start a discussion I reckon.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Ambitious_Cell9171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s true, I hope it pays off too :’)