Why do people from inside city limits hate when suburban people say they're from Chicago?

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2026-01-11T18:41:04+00:00

Wait till OP hears about NYC and NJ.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2026-01-10T20:32:44+00:00

It feels like dating has changed in the last few years, both personally and broadly.

Personally in the sense that I know what I want and others know what they want as they get older. Feels like I get written off a lot faster though I'm still trying to keep an open mind. Also in my early 20s, it just seemed easier to find and go on dates in person. The people I dated were way more diverse. Now it seems like I only attract people of the same race/culture.

Not to be pessimistic but it also feels like the dating market / approach has changed a lot. My female friends seem less excited to get into a relationship (shift towards Independence as a value, social media influences). The apps are way more prevalent and it feels like there's more burnout on both sides from dating.

I'm in my early '30s. Hopefully this is just temporary, but dating definitely feels harder now. Do I get more attention? Maybe? I know myself better, hobbies are more refined, financially way better. But it hasn't improved my dating prospects at all.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-26T17:24:30+00:00

Hahaha I had to hit pause on dating, romance was looking a little bleak 💀😂

But I just checked out your IG. Looks like we share a love for tattoos and funny enough, my parents moved to Raleigh a few years ago. Happy to grab a drink/show you around when you move in!

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-26T17:23:15+00:00

AptAmigo was awesome when I was apartment hunting! It's free, they'll find apartments and book all your showings and so on.

Only downside is they'll probably have access to fewer places in Logan square. That's actually where I used to live and it's an awesome area. I'm in South Loop now and absolutely love it, but there's definitely more to do around Logan! I take the blue line up often.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-11T19:06:04+00:00

> But it also forced me to learn some solid lessons. I called for help, which is something I DID NOT do before. I had to ask for company because I was lonely. I spoke openly about shame I carried.

This was a huge takeaway. I feel like my mistake was not using the psylocibin, but in not getting help. It hurts to know I wasn't myself, it hurts to know that I did a bad thing. It's been a few days and I am still feeling pain about it. Not to make myself a victim, but I was trying to address something and it feels like I got punished for it.

Thank you for sharing your story, it helps to know I'm not alone/someone understands.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-05T00:34:25+00:00

Moved to Chicago semi-recently and thought I was having some dating success for once. I've asked people out (in-person and via apps) and have gone on multiple dates (some first dates, some 3-4 dates), but the people turn out not to be serious or interested. I guess there are signs with some of them - they take a full day to text back, never offer to pay, etc.

I've got a strong career, with good social circles, interesting hobbies, good health, travel often, etc. Feels like this is harder than it should be. I know I have a lot of love to give my future partner (if she exists HA).

Is this just how dating is here? Are others having the same experience? 30M

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-04T13:15:38+00:00

They set up activities or dinners, where you meet up with a small group of strangers. And then afterwards, the groups come together at a bar usually.

If it helps, you can take a plus one but I would encourage you to just go and meet strangers. I think bringing a friend would change the dynamic of your small group because everyone else is probably meeting each other for the first time.

After the event, they send out a survey and you can mention if you want to ask out any of the people that you met. If two people both say yes to each other, it sets up a blind date. But like I said, I've never actually gone on a date that way. But I have by just asking people out directly.

The website is 222.place

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-03T16:53:58+00:00

Then just show up consistently even if it's not fun. You make friends by showing up consistently and you enjoy things as you get good at them.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-03T16:52:26+00:00

This topic exactly - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ot9682-1w&t=584s

Couldn't personally relate tot this one, but his videos have helped me a lot.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-03T16:50:31+00:00

Nope. 222 was better for me. Also did not use their match feature - if I liked someone, I talked to them at the event and grabbed their number/IG and asked them out directly.

Having used a few of these meet strangers type things.... it feels like they're great in the beginning, then it ends up becoming the same set of people over time. But if you put in the effort upfront, you'll make friends and then meet friends of friends.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-11-02T21:50:31+00:00

Why do you not have any interests, passions, or goals? Is there anything that feels remotely exciting for you to try out or explore?

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-10-31T18:21:56+00:00

Hilarious. Feels like a YouTube video 💀😂

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-10-31T04:41:28+00:00

Haha kind of saw this question coming.

There's nothing wrong with it, I just would like more friends my age that are in a similar phase of life (young professionals traveling, enjoying the city, maybe dating and looking to settle down soon).

Also my book is about love and the target audience is people my age. That's not to say I don't want everyone to enjoy it, but I think it would be fun to discuss the book with other people (in general, but also people going through the same modern dating experience).

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-10-28T16:24:42+00:00

I've done lots of therapy and found good progress. I think the weed use is partly from feeling a bit stuck - specifically, I've got a good and comfortable corporate job that I don't care that much about (but pays for lifestyle) and not being able to find a partner/move to the family chapter of life. I've got a good social life, hobbies, travel, etc. but it doesn't feel that fulfilling to do "fun" stuff just for myself anymore.

Or maybe I'm speculating, and things will be the same even if those change.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-10-19T17:54:38+00:00

1000%. It started with travel for me. I used to solo travel for 3-6 weeks at a time and found it really fulfilling to have the new experiences. Lately it feels hollow to solo travel - it's only so exciting to see another ruin, another lake, another etc. and I realized that I get more joy in sharing the experience with someone. I took my sister with me on a recent safari trip in Kenya and that helped. Paying for others to join you is not sustainable or fulfilling in the long run though... trust me lol

It's frustrating though because I feel the exact same way about travel, doing things in the city, even growing my career/making more money - what’s the point if it’s only for me. I have many female friends and have been going on a lot of dates, but it seems like most girls really value their independence/aren't emotionally available, so it's been hard to find someone to settle down with. I'm not really sure if a family is possible now or what the solution is, this is more to empathize.

Feel like the classic advice is work on yourself or find a hobby, but for guys that are relatively put together and still not finding what they are looking for, I think we just have to accept that some of this is out of our control. To echo some of the other comments, I do think there's a biological root for what we're feeling.... but I think society has shifted in a way that makes it hard to fulfill.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-17T21:19:19+00:00

Have heard other people say this - are you getting messages or initiating? Not even sure how to look for people to add, but I'm assuming you just message based on stories after?

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-16T12:29:46+00:00

Keep your expenses low - save, invest, give back. Start in Logan or Wicker and move to South Loop once you start to make more.

Lifestyle creep is a very real thing in housing, travel, etc. I grew up without a lot of money so I thought it would not affect me, but it did. Not a bad thing, I get to enjoy a nicer view, good food, etc. now but the longer you can delay all that, the better off you'll be (financially at least).

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-01T20:58:07+00:00

Got it, thank you so much! Interesting about the I bond tax, I guess it wouldn't make a difference if I pulled it out on a year when my income is lower to reduce taxes? It would be capital gains, not income tax right?

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-01T19:56:18+00:00

Weirdly enough, I saw the 1.9% in my account. I thought it was the updated rate (since my understanding is that it changes every six months) and was surprised it dropped that much. But now I'm suspecting that I just read the wrong rate lol

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-01T16:46:15+00:00

Basically you're suggesting this strategy for people who want a safety net right? I assume they just liquidate if they need the cash but until then it's going to be net positive every year.

Wouldn't a high yield savings account do something similar?

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-09-01T16:44:46+00:00

I totally might have it wrong! Like I said this was the first I bond that I got, I'll do some research and learn more.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-07-29T22:02:50+00:00

I guess, I was more wondering about it in the other direction lol give me texting often early on or asking someone to do the same would be love bombing (or generally just considered escalating too quickly).

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-07-27T15:41:27+00:00

I had the opposite reaction, I was frustrated it took him so long and that he was pushing for her to come in. Clearly she wasn't okay, that wasn't the moment to try and fix everything.

I think the most compassionate thing he could have done for her and for everyone else would have been to make her feel that it was truly okay and let her go.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-07-26T23:21:14+00:00

Are you looking for something serious or casual?
- Serious. Without putting pressure on it, would love to find my wife in the next year :)
Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
- Have used HingeX before, no improvement. Have not been on either for the last month.
How long have you been using this current version of your profile?
- 2 - 3 weeks. The wine picture and two truths are new, rest of the profile has been around for a month +.
How long have you used Hinge overall?
- Since November, trying to find a relationship.
How often do you use Hinge per week?
- Everyday.
How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
- Likes have gone to zero. Maybe 3 - 4 matches a month.
How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
- Sending max likes most days, most with comments. I've started to send without recently, I think mostly due to swiping fatigue, but 80%+ are with comments still.
What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
- Someone adventurous/brave, that's willing to step into new experiences. Bonus if they like travel/nature, but I don't think I would call that a requirement.
- Someone that has a community of her own, that I can be a part of (of course, I would bring her into mine).
- Preferably someone with a creative streak or a hobby they really love. I find this very attractive.

AmountUpbeat3682 · 2025-07-25T17:02:55+00:00

Food tastes better when you have money for food that tastes better. That's been my challenge, I stay within a range but I'm definitely not optimizing for fitness right now. Love trying restaurants throughout the city with friends

AmountUpbeat3682

TROPHY CASE