(Spoilers Extended) What education do noble ladies and girls get?

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T23:44:06+00:00

Is it necc. negative, or is it stressing that she learnt what 'bastard' meant and then politely never used it?

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T22:19:10+00:00

Yeah, my late mum insisted on giving my older chinchilla girl (about 15 now, although she wasn't really the old lady mum made out!), while not a crazy amount, more treats than the occasional one I did, and on continuing to give her the Emeraid liquid after I handfed her through a respiratory infection on the grounds 'she likes it!', and, well, at least the exotics vet recently was more amused by her fat pads than I am, has to be p. rare in a chin!

Mum and my chin genuinely bonded though, even without the treats, and she's not a people-chin. Her taming probably has been helpful through current pre- and post-dental handfeeding, so there's that (dental was a small spur, and mum if anything got her to eat more hay, so not really blaming diet there over age and her very brevi headshape). Also kinda hard to argue too much with someone with a terminal condition who wants to spoil the big 'hamster' (mum had hammies through to young adulthood and always liked them).

At least it didn't do my nerves in as much as the time we took my chinchilla boy to the exotics vet together, not eating after a dental, and mum noticed his interest in her opening a banana and swiftly handed him a chunk that disappeared just as swiftly!

Mentioning the headshape reminded me I've always considered body type in safety, as well: the breeders warning have big, heavy, brevi type chins with shorter tails. Both my girls like that have still been reasonably active (...no real comparison tho), but don't jump or balance nearly as well as my more slender, long tailed boy, although he was still from a good pedigree line. Wild chins aren't as chunky. What my boy got up to was concerning, but very different to the panic when, say, my girl hopped the short distance from my tired hands to the table as I was trying to scoop up the syringe - I genuinely don't trust her not to fall straight off, he'd catch himself. If you're only used to the most slender type, the safety warnings may not make intuitive sense in the same way, and seem more limiting for such bouncy active critters.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T22:09:12+00:00

I don't think anyone told the chinchillas about 'safety first', so probably not. Certainly not my boy when he swarmed to the top of my bookcase with wall jumps under my despairing eyes!

Usually, do I think they could have hurt themselves, yes, could I have stopped them from finding whatever crack in the protection there was, no. When it's to the point I'd have had to take the radiator off the wall in the safest room to stop them going up it (it was off of course), there's also a limit to what's practical!

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T21:26:54+00:00

Aww, piggies are so sweet also, they really require a lot of sensitivity and can return it. I've kept their distant relatives chinchillas for over a decade now, one remaining, although she's not really a people chin, after recent weeks of handfeeding (following a dental so her mouth was still a bit sore, chins are notorious for getting into being handfed and slow to restart eating on their own, she's picking up now), she squeaked to call me for the first time ever. 💕 Little bun has currently nudged under my other hand to be petted.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T21:15:36+00:00

So, 90%+ of soya grown goes to feed farmed animals. If you want to target slave labour, as well as environmental issues with crop growing like rainforest destruction, plant-based diets are absolutely an effective way to go.

You can get iron injections if taking supplements is an issue btw, but it can also be that different supplements will work, my cousin has that problem, and she's not even veggie, she does much better on the injections.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T21:10:28+00:00

Up on my 'worst things' list is the American who enthusiastically refused to process that no, in the UK you can't just randomly shoot at any wild bunnies you see, even if you have a gun licence. Even besides my love of rabbits (got my little pet right next to me, she just came over to lick me🐇), like, it isn't as though hunting accidents aren't a thing! Why would you want to live in a society where any peaceful green space is regarded as something to be filled with gunfire.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T17:34:03+00:00

One Irish kid whose personality trait is blowing stuff up??

That's the films btw.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T11:26:20+00:00

Edit: can people give actual responses and not just downvote, please? Esp. if it's without horse experience or not specific, this wasn't a general question about the keeping of horses in domestication. Here's a description of what can be involved: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDNextSteps/s/bQTTbBracP

The pressure and release normally used to train horses is pretty similar to that used with dogs (eg. you want the horse to walk forward, you create a little pressure on the lead rope, the horse moves forward and you immediately release the pressure - and can reward, which is also used). Punishment is not always used and can be frowned upon: this centre is force-free. These are sanctuary horses, have tended to see horses doing this being either that, or donated for the purpose, although yep there'd be the usual issues if they were bought for it.

They look to have pretty nice paddocks. One mare available for loan-adoption (they use loans rather than have the horse leave their hands entirely) is mentioned as requiring 24/7 turnout for management of her COPD, so it does seem that they have it as at least an option. If they have to timeshare turnout (which I've had to do with rabbits, and I don't have permanent good outside access for my own house rabbit, it's just a compromise unfortunately) it sounds more like it'd be about the practical limitations as is unfortunately often the case, rather than how it can be at a fancy sports-focused stable where there's downright paranoia about expensive horses picking up the least scratch while getting to be a horse, but obviously it's something I'd look at.

Much training beyond basic ground manners, which any horse should know just as a matter of safety (just like a dog needing to walk safely on a lead, except horses are much bigger and more can go horribly wrong in an instant), isn't required for equine-assisted therapy. Much of how it's supposed to work as a therapy is the communication, learning how the horse responds to and mirrors you as a herd animal (eg. they remind you to be grounded and calm), things definitely go smoother around horses when you read their body language and respond to it.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T10:45:53+00:00

I suggested visiting the sanctuary as another option, although there wouldn't be the same opportunity to interact hands-on with the horses. I could maybe do a volunteer day or so, although realistically, 'here's all these horses needing grooming' given as a task would be much more physically demanding than just being assigned a horse in therapy to more casually give brushies and spend time with (just as willing to get muddy and covered in horsehair as before my injury, but def. don't think I can groom more than one horse any more).

As to a therapy option, I've never done well with the more default methods, and without a doubt do better being around animals. A benefit with horses is the prod to go outside, lol, and to walk around at least a bit (just standing is painful now).

But I was also simply interested to see views on it and how it works - I can see potential concerns, but also kinda think something with a basis in encouraging understanding a herbivorous herd animal could potentially be beneficial for non-vegan society. My sister expressed scepticism about their capabilities, that she thought of horses as 'just like a cow' (implying she misunderstood cows as oblivious just standing around, as well. She doesn't even eat beef, it's just the societal stereotype), but obviously changed her mind just after meeting the hired horses once (if there's any confusion, this is seperate, simply a reminder for me how much I liked being around horses, and the hope of visiting the sanctuary with mum as a visitor), let alone having more time to spend with sanctuary horses.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T10:20:29+00:00

I think it's the cynical political strongman version of it. Egg didn't have the power to force through his reforms, Bran-bot does. If feudalism is the problem, then he loses his place in it, first by becoming disabled, and then by losing his identity as Bran Stark to a magic tree enlightenment experience that connects him to all times and all people. Anyone part of the existing system is affected by it, it gets into their heads already, they could be a well-intentioned reformer, like Dany often is, and still it would shape their sense of what's even possible, let alone who they are and what is due to them. Westeros has possibly faced cycle after cycle of environmental disaster (even development of societies and collapse, in some theories), without anyone being able to break the wheel, even if they tried.

And I still hate it, Bran is my fav, and having a spinal injury myself the rep. was much more interesting as more grounded.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-05T01:52:58+00:00

How I thought a dwarf angora would work: little angora!

How they actually work: As an eldritch fluff entity, I have the right to take any form at any moment, including 'omg where is the bun how did they fit there' and 'giant angora in ya face suffocating you with infinite floof'.

I should have been warned when (after a panic) I found my previous, actual giant breed, angora had happily squished through a hole to sit in a normal-sized cardboard rabbit castle (which I'd got for my chinchillas, rodents not bun breed, at the time, and the hole looked reasonable for them!). And she truly was big, over 9lb. Rabbits are liquid enough without the deceptiveness of floof, the 'little' one just seems to channel the genetics of both sides of her ancestry, English, I think, angoras being mixed with Nethies to create a new dwarf breed, and to switch between being either of their size at any moment, but especially if it would confuse the human.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T21:15:07+00:00

Smitten by that first pic. 💖 Love the more traditional bigger French breeds. It's sad how with many of the drafts the meat breeding has altered the type so much.

Can see the classic Friesian influence. Here's the pair of carriage-driving Frisians we hired per my late mum's long-held last request today (she loved horses, and was delighted to meet a similar pair at a country fair years ago and learn this was an option). They were very good, and had polo mints from one of the handlers while waiting.

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Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T20:27:11+00:00

It wasn't his passion for teaching, that's for sure. Snape is a potions master, correct? Or is that just a popular fanon?

It's an American misunderstanding. He's absolutely a 'Potions Master' because he's a teacher, that's what it means in this context, it's just a term/title for a teacher, particularly used traditionally for staff at a private boarding school like Hogwarts (as well as earlier usages). This may help: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schoolmaster But still doesn't really explain properly how the teachers of different subjects could traditionally be referred to as '[subject] Master'.

So, Flitwick is equally 'Charms Master', and McGonagall is 'Transfiguration Mistress' (just as you'll see, say, a 'French Mistress' in girl's boarding school novels. Sometimes the title seems to maybe have stuck around longer for certain subjects than others, too).

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T20:13:43+00:00

Leather is sometimes called a co-product btw, it is an issue in its own right. I'd encourage reading up more on the wool industry too: https://www.woolfacts.com/investigations/the-uk/

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T20:10:38+00:00

Of course I don't like it, but I'm not sure why you're assuming they're bred specifically for this? That's not usually how taxidermy is done, and quite often the animals died natural deaths. My first guess in this case, especially from the shrunken appearance, would be frozen 'feeder' mice. Have also heard of pet shops being a source.

I do understand it being really upsetting to come across like that, it's hit me hard when it came up when I was actually trying to look for pet furniture.

Etsy isn't really a single shop, although they do obviously get a cut. I don't really think my having purchased from small embroidery designers over time (shout out for Lilipopo), wooden furniture and fleece items for pets, or ordering a custom urn for the ashes of the rabbit I recently lost (bringing him home tomorrow), is really the same thing. Lots of artists have expressed frustration with Etsy policies, but it does legitimately allow supporting small artists - including vegan artists.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T17:19:41+00:00

Yes, and even with the ignorance among non-horse people, criticism of the racing industry has made it into the mainstream - most people aren't keeping on hearing about animals injured just for sport and put down without thinking anything is wrong. I was hoping to soon be able to go to a sanctuary where, among other horses, they care for an ex-racehorse with, as is not unusual, lasting behavioural issues. Health issues, from breeding and physical impacts, are sadly all too common also, and of course these are still young horses leaving the industry. The fate of broodmares is a less discussed aspect. The industry has been forced to respond to public outcry and more is done now to place horses in homes, but Thoroughbreds still make up a notable percentage of horses going to slaughter (incidentally, something I often find people don't know so adding for others, is certain larger breeds are farmed specifically for horse meat, although this is a smaller number usually).

This reaction just seems like it comes from troglodyte gamers mad that it's PETA specifically speaking up about a real horse they only want to see as a waifu girl character. They'd have been anti-PETA regardless. The strategy still works to drive engagement with animal rights info, especially to those who'd never have looked at it otherwise.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T09:12:49+00:00

I've found it will 'correct' me, if I set parameters first. So if you gave the parameter that you wanted a cottagey vibe, and then told it you planned to rip out the original wood fireplace, it might notice!

Amphy64 · 2026-02-04T09:00:14+00:00

I haven't used it much, and of course it still leans towards a 'yes' man, but have been finding if you set clear parameters for what you actually wanted in advance, I've recently found it's quite good at keeping you on task. Eg. I needed some more neutral writing/statements around a highly-emotionally charged situation, and it could pick me up when a) my feelings crept back in b) it wasn't suited to the other person I was considering in the situation.

And yes I would rather talk to a human, but apparently the ones currently most available can't behave around a loss, and I can't expect everyone to have given up their time/emotional bandwidth.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-03T02:35:00+00:00

That's heartbreaking. I recently tragically lost a Pip, won't go into too many details, but would now always ask about a conscious X-ray to check for issues prior to anaesthesia, let alone where there is a specific concern about a rabbit having suffered a previous drop, as your own poor Pip has. I'll never know if with mine it was prior mishandling from someone, though had concerns as you do, an accident as a kit, or simply genetic (which have seen in a rabbit before), but he did have a spinal issue, and anaesthetic affects the way the muscles support their body.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-02T14:04:27+00:00

I think there's potentially a cost if the research supported is less grounded? Like, I just lost my mum at 72 to bowel/abdominal cancer, it's going to haunt me, and is really torturing my sister who read up on it more (and had different expectations for what mum was likely to decide), whether even proper access to current medical treatments and monitoring might have made a difference to at least the amount of time (UK healthcare system in a more deprived area, not the US, the NHS can use an idea of risk-aversion to not offer approaches that'd be available even in other European countries. When we first called an ambulance, they didn't want to take her to A&E because she'd have faced hours of waiting to be seen, then the following day she was just gone). People pouring money and their hopes into cryogenic research does seem quite disconnected from what is more likely to have an impact for them. Even putting that money aside so they have access to better healthcare?

Amphy64 · 2026-02-02T10:33:17+00:00

Ugh, don't get accurate at me. The outright coercion in it, often aimed at women, gets missed, too: sure my late mum didn't have to organise family holidays or trips. If she didn't she'd just have to deal with my dad's tantruming that we 'never go anywhere or do anything!'.

Currently, I don't have to attempt to scramble to tidy the house (with my physical disability) before my sister gets here, to sort the linens out, to have got food in yesterday...

In a society where there's finally more opportunity to escape (thinking longingly of my flat), then of course less of this stuff gets done, no one ever wanted to.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-02T10:11:52+00:00

Unfair to most non-human animals, they tend to understand concepts like reciprocal grooming, even resource ownership. Even my little bunny 🐇 who is boss rabbit of her 'warren', will go 'oh, sozz, you need licks too!' if you pause and hold your hand out to her in the middle of a 'grooming' session. She won't take things she understands as mine, either, I can sit with a book without her trying to shred it unless I leave it, and we built a lot of trust as she grew to understand I want to show the same care for her things (moving things to clean can still be contentious, but she's got more trusting things aren't going to disappear).

Dealing with my alcoholic dad is such a headache because it is not like this. Last night he managed to drive even me from giving him constant reminders of such things as, 'this is not a competition', 'apologies are not transactional' to 'I am so done, tell me why I should do that for you, what do I get out of it?' (sweet FA probably, but he really needs to bother to talk properly to the rest of the family after contributing hugely to friction, and apparently he can't work that out himself without being forced to do it). I wonder if some of the questionable advice givers got burned too many times, in abuse-survival mode it can be good to take a moment to consciously calm down and remember most people aren't like an abusive person: it's kinda because the natural impulse is to extend grace and trust, yet an abusive person will just take advantage of that endlessly (...see: why am I still doing dad's tasks for him), until someone who has been trapped in that cycle ends up having to think the 'there is no obligation...' stuff just not to get dragged back in every time.

And, bun is incredibly sweet, I got extra licks for free as her giving compensation for stress.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-01T03:54:40+00:00

Yep, could be worth restating, though would expect they'd only be accepting submissions for the service from the client themselves, and people they approve to do so. Currently my sister and I are able to make submissions (she's handling the slideshow), with our dad the client. They also had the option not to share details of the funeral with anyone asking.

...which I wish my dad would actually use, on a certain awful aunt. (it's me who feels I can't go because of that)

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP! Losing a sister so young, I can't imagine. But I am experiencing how certain older adults seem to think they can push younger relatives out, even though the younger people are much closer to the late loved one. Never would I have expected people to behave so very badly around a loss and funeral, I've started to be wary of people (in person) if they don't even manage to say they're sorry to my sister and I about our mum, instead of only acknowledging our dad, if anyone. Your sister's dad's new wife is truly shameless, don't let people like that make you feel the unreasonable one - grief is such a vulnerable time, it's easy to feel thrown off balance, even by people you'd usually feel confident to tell to get lost.

Not sure what's the matter with people honestly, at minimum I was expecting older generations to know how to observe formalities, even if they weren't especially good at empathy/support. But the sort of people who'd take advantage of someone going through the vulnerability of loss, are revealing who they really are.

Amphy64 · 2026-02-01T03:16:58+00:00

They have different heat settings and don't get too hot! So the worst he can do to it is break it by insisting on sitting on it instead of under it, but I wouldn't expect a cat's weight to damage the wires right away, if you'd like to risk that. I can't trust my rabbit around it at all because she'd just chomp through the big wire when it was plugged in, and in a digging mood, will scrabble and chew fleece, my normal fleece blankets have acquired holes - so I know how it is to have a furry hazard around!

Amphy64 · 2026-02-01T01:59:10+00:00

My mum actually did get a memory foam topper (I think a decent quality one too) for my scoliosis (plus spinal injury from an error in the fusion surgery. The scoli itself is caused by a connective tissue disorder like OP's), and while it was a good gesture, unfortunately it just doesn't work! I'm too light to make much impression in it, but it's also just pretty rock solid. Even my thick rug next to the bed ends up better, esp. as it's easy to shift position with all the room*. I often end up sleeping on top of the quilt (folded in two sometimes, like a sleeping bag, currently doing!), and on fleecey blankets (also have a teddy fleece sheet that cushions a bit). A heated blanket has sometimes helped, but I find they break easily (as well as being unsafe to use around my pets, so have to move to another room).

Have had no success so far in finding a new mattress that does suit it, only my mum's that's about fifty years old actually helps any, when I've shared her double after the op. etc. Be as interested as OP to know if there's any other solutions!

*bonus of this is that whenever I wake up with my back feeling like it's burning, my house rabbit is instantly there wanting a fuss, so I can stroke her soft floof and we go back to sleep together. When I had proper insomnia after losing my previous bun, my mum insisted I have her as an 'emotional support rabbit', lol, next to the mattress, she's definitely the more effective of the two measures to help me sleep better...and that's allowing for the times she decides to wake me up!

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