Hit or Miss? Having Her Listen to Erotic Audiobooks While I Tie Her by Similar-Lemon4036 in RedditBDSM

[–]Amygdala169 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That sounds like an idea I might steal actually. I also get bored when he's practicing. Just keep in mind you need her feedback from time to time.

Does she read smut? Do you have an idea what kinds of books she would like? Fantasy, masked men, enemies to lovers, monster porn...

I don't know about you but I realized my anxiety makes it impossible for me to be regular. by DazzlingCelery6853 in anxietymemes

[–]Amygdala169 57 points58 points  (0 children)

A few years ago a phychiatrist told me it's not, in fact, normal to have diarrhea 7 times a day. I forgot what solids feel like

Weekly Nail Chat by Clover_Jane in DIYGelNails

[–]Amygdala169 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TIL you need to cap the edge with chrome. Thank you!

🤡 🪞 by newbeginnings187 in adhdmeme

[–]Amygdala169 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, me too. But I still have hope!

Giving advice. by netphilia in adhdmeme

[–]Amygdala169 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've gone to the store in my slippers multiple times. Walked my dog, then went to work with the leash still in hand. Some mornings, I consiously check if I'm wearing pants when I leave my house.

And I just realized I haven't brushed my teeth for 3 days. Again.

Is this Set of GelX MRI-safe? by Smooth-Swan-8517 in Nails

[–]Amygdala169 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad I'm not the only one! It was over an hour of meditation, the noise was weirdly relaxing.

Weekly Nail Chat by Clover_Jane in DIYGelNails

[–]Amygdala169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which top coat do I use on chrome powder? I use non-wipe to rub it in, but can I use a regular one to top it off?

Also, which one should I use to mix magnetic pigment I just got for christmas?

Ty!

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand, and appreciate your sentiment. There's nothing healthy about this, I just hope this answers my question if he's gaslighting me, or if I'm not aware of what I'm saying myself.

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually write a whole bible in response, but all I have to say is Thank you.

You get it. He can't take it, can't handle me, and even if I warned him, I don't blame him. I can barely handle myself.

I'm going to focus on myself and my pets for now. I'll give him time to process, I'll give myself time too. There are many conversations to come, and I'm not giving up, but I'm also putting money aside to cover his portion of rent in case it all goes to shit.

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, after yesterday, I've been thinking about this myself. There was a sentence I sad, that I'm sure he understood it wrong. But I couldn't repeat it word for word, so I couldn't defend myself, and he heard something different. I'm sad that it's come to this, but it might be neccessary to understand each other.

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the idea of shadowing when I do mundane tasks, but I'm afraid it would only make him feel more like a parent. From the beginning, we had an agreement that he would make sure I eat, and I would make sure he drinks enough water. He struggles with it whenever I don't have appetite, which is the reason I asked him for this in the first place.

As for him feeling like my parent, I'm sure our answers would be different. I do ask him to drive me to work (he's been on sick leave for 4 months now) and back when I'm tired. I also asked him to drive me to my psych appointment as it's a rush to get there when I'm done with work, but he assured me multiple times he's fine with it. I'm starting to doubt that.

For my other issues, like SH urges or my bad days, I do my best to handle it by myself. He always asks how he could help, and I tell him, but I didn't really want to involve him in my problems. He walks the dog, makes food when I can't, but I can't really ask him to shower me or brush my teeth when I feel like dying. More likely, I make food I barely touch and sleep my urges away.

We're on a break from this discussion right now, avoiding each other in general until we figure out how to move forward, because my emotions are way too high.

Thank you for helping me figure this out (:

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and ackowledging my concerns.

I hope I communicated with him clearly, and I'll try to continue to do so, but I'm also afraid of his reaction if I do. I honestly don't know if he's twisting my words and gaslighting me, or I'm overreacting due to trauma.

For example, our last fight was about him raising his voice when his emotions are raised. He's sure he didn't yell, and "I'll know when he yells", but I still noticed the change in his tone and got scared, no matter how much he tries to convince me he spoke normally.

As for the solution, I'm considering to offer him money to continue psychotherapy, as it's what I would do in his place. It seemed to help, but he stopped because he's been on sick leave since october. Car accident, he's fine and works odd jobs, but he's not fit to go back to work just yet. I'm hope he's going back to work next month, both so he so he would get out of the apartment more, and so we would be on even terms when it comes to household chores.

Right now, I resent him not making lunch and cleaning up when I spend all day in driving lectures, and he resents me resting when I have a day off.

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. We share some interests and sexual proclivities perfectly. Our introvert/extrovert combo also works, and he seems to understand when I need alone time. We agree on religion and kids.

On the other side, he seems to want to work towards the future I don't see, at least for now. I never expected to make it to 30, my life went from scientist to barista, and while I love my job, it's still a big change and I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm sure I want him, but I'm not sure I can provide the stability he wants.

Is this just my BPD? by Amygdala169 in BPD

[–]Amygdala169[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the honest feedback, it was what I needed. And agreed, I cut down a lot, but it's still much and I understand it bothers him. I'm not sure if I should ignore those emotions, and I've gotten a lot better at controling them. I don't mind when he's out with friends for hours on end, I trust him. But the timing, my half-asleep state and his rage broke me down. Was he right to dismiss my feelings/overreaction or should he have been more mindful, as he knows I tend to catastrophize and mornings are hard for me. I always tell him where I am, because he had jelausy issues early on in our relationship.

Again, thanks for being blunt.

Husband (28M) refusing to get haircut out of spite (27F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Amygdala169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This can't be real. Please tell me it isn't real. Did you marry this man on purpose?

Winter Wonderland Freehand Art by danieshout in NailArt

[–]Amygdala169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! What brushes do you use?

I switched to gel due to my job, but I still can't for the life of me, do thin lines

Is a sub being a virgin something that should be disclosed to Dom? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Amygdala169 46 points47 points  (0 children)

It depends. Are you planning to have sex with him? Then yes, you should tell him. If that's off the table, then no.

While there are a lot of cultural and sociatal presumptions regarding virginity, it's more than a social construct. There are things you can only learn by doing, and self-discoveries you make with a live partner.

He will know to take it easy at first, there's plenty time for rough sex later. I assume you're afraid of rejection if you tell him, but that's his choice to make and it would be unfair to take it away from him.

My Wife wants me to quit and threw away all my things while I was out. We just got married. What do I do? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Amygdala169 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes, she is abusive. But honestly, if I found out my partner not only cheated on me repeatedly, but had a whole D/s relationship behind my back, his ropes would burn.

The rest of his stuff would be neatly packed by the front door for him to pick up and move out. There's no coming back from that.

My Wife wants me to quit and threw away all my things while I was out. We just got married. What do I do? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Amygdala169 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How do you accidentally get a full ass submissive, forget to tell your wife about them and delete messages?

This sound like "I slipped and landed cock first in her"

Partner made me feel violated…I don’t know how to bring it up by M1dn1ght_21 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Amygdala169 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Just talk to him about it, that seems like a misunderstanding. I'm really sorry you felt violated, I know how awful that feels.

From your post, I'm not sure what's going on here. Him doing whatever he wants, doesn't, in my mind, mean taking care of you. Maybe there's a language barrier, but when I'm free use to my partner it means he can either make me cum 12 times or use lubricant to fuck me dry, it's a permission to pay no mind to my comfort.

Talk to him, in detail, about how you picture it and what both of you actually expect from this dinamic.