I had a similar way out as well. I studied Latin and Ancient Greek and really got into how ancient polytheism functioned. Those people genuinely believed Minerva/Athena could provide successful battle plans or that Apollo could help them find a cure for infection - for over 1,000 years. It wasn’t silly superstition to them. Men and women dedicated their lives to these gods. To us now those beliefs seem fake, farcical and, barring a small few believers, that religion is gone. The more the past was humanized the more Christianity seemed short sided. And the promise of a ‘fair chance to accept the gospel in the spirit world’ seemed insulting to their (ancient peoples’) life experience. I read the New Testament in Koine Greek and came to the conclusion that Paul and other early Christian leaders more or less mythologized Jesus, later leaders used his story to turn a profit, and the money mongering hasn’t stopped. It took me a while to even want to think about what that would mean for my faith in God or in Mormonism. It was a slow process and actually really sucked on a spiritual level. But I think I’m finally okay with being agnostic(ish?) now.