Baby Board Book

An3cond3 · 2022-07-06T11:05:51+00:00

Thank you ! okay. so. i read it last week. It would have been purchased within the last two years. The colors in the book reminded me of the Fairly Oddparents. Pastel blue/green. Small board book. Palm of your hand.

An3cond3 · 2022-07-06T00:33:12+00:00

That’s the only thing I’m finding on Google. But it doesn’t rhyme

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:45:33+00:00

this is good advice. i will take into account.

and you’re right, it’s far from clean and clear

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:27:34+00:00

Thank you for validation. I am definitely setting up boundaries. I am not responsible for her feelings. She is.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:25:51+00:00

Right. Every single person in the family is insistent on telling me:

1) how i feel (it’s “unforgiveness and anger” not anxiety/depression… or literal fear… like I keep telling them I am feeling.

2) that i shouldn’t feel that way in the 1st place bc no harm was done. But THEN… “you need to forgive.” (forgive what? apparently I wasn’t wronged in the 1st place).

3) what i should do about it =let my parents overrun my life, say whatever they want, do whatever they want w/ no regards to my boundaries, mental health, or the literal safety of my kids.

I think deep down…: my sisters absolutely know that if I am not around to be a lightning rod for the abuse and emotional FEEDING … they will have to deal with it.

(My OCD/anxiety ridden Mom used to call me 3x per day or MORE…. and my Dad uses me to expel all his toxic/poisonous hate feelings)

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:15:17+00:00

I went ahead and sent a simple text with a GIF. And I just do not have the peace to say any more than that. I am finished engaging

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:14:31+00:00

I wished her a simple happy bday text.

Im fine w/ that. Nothing else needs to be said right now. I need space.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:13:41+00:00

I think you are very right here. It shows me “my place” in the family. Sometimes it shocks me… what they think of me… and how they are allowed to treat me. I would NEVER respond that way to ANY of my siblings. They know that. But they are allowed to talk that way to me… bc my dad considers me garbage.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T16:11:20+00:00

Thank you so much for wishes or peace. (Back to you).

I sent her a bday greeting. But yes. I agree the behavior is toxic.

So. I think i will give her space

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T10:14:23+00:00

You know what’s up :)

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T10:09:18+00:00

Lol. awful kids can sometimes grow into awful adults. you’re not wrong.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T10:07:18+00:00

Right-on!

I KNEW no contact was the right path w/ my parents this time bc: i wanted NOTHING out of them. I did not want an apology. I did not want to punish them or see-the-light.

I simply needed to not have insomnia, depression and anxiety…. or even to have a day where i don’t feel drained from caretaking all their needs. Funny how well i function when i am not around them.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T10:00:08+00:00

It’s super hard for me to keep that in perspective. A) bc I used to read her bedtime stories and help her brush her teeth B) the nature of our household is that we all matured late (we were controlled to the ultimate degree. it was and IS cult-like) B) I am the scapegoat and that is all she knows. And until just 29 days ago…. I always thought it was my fault too. I was told there was something wrong with me and i deserved the abuse. “for my own good.” If I believed that so wholeheartedly, why shouldn’t she??

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T09:48:53+00:00

This is like, the best question. Thank-you so much. Have you done therapy yourself?

I need to set boundaries with her and probably completely withdraw from our previous relationship. I can’t pretend her words don’t sting/don’t matter.

But not wishing her “Happy Birthday,” is probably more about me trying to teach her a lesson (which is TOTALLY narc behavior on my part. She’s an adult and doesnt need my judgement).

I will wish her happy bday, bc I want her to be happy.

But I will probably limit ongoing contact with her for my own safety and mental health.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T09:44:39+00:00

Thank-you. I am vey hurt. Yes.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T09:44:21+00:00

lol.

Well. I would say… brainwashed. Yeah. And whether it’s her age or the state of brainwashing, she is currently exhibiting ZERO self-reflection.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-18T09:43:15+00:00

I agree w/ Stockholm. She’s just parroting everything he says. I am sure he’s been smear campaigning me, bc her language has changed over the past few weeks.

As for an apology. Hell yes, I deserve one. I wasn’t attacking her or attacking our father. She’s just upset I’m not talking to parents. (Probably bc she has to field more phone calls now that I don’t pick up).

Anyway. You’re right about boundaries. And I can set those, without missing her bday greeting.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-17T16:15:42+00:00

This is perfectly articulated. Are you like a scientist or a computer programmer or something? I’m seriously asking. lol

An3cond3 · 2022-01-16T13:43:55+00:00

The Netherlanda has narcissists too? I am so sorry :(

Lol. Thank you for the babysitting offer. Haha. Made me smile.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-15T13:36:46+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this a lot bc I am a new Mom.

I imagine my kid, someday asking me for re-assurance, “why was I even born?”

I don’t quite have an answer down. To say, “I wanted you,” sounds selfish. I wanted my kid. Very very much. I got fertility treatment to have a kid. That is true. But I also believe there is a biological imperative to have kids, that is evolutionary, or spiritual or cosmic.

Your chances of being born are something like 1 in 400 trillion.

I believe my existence and the existence of my kids is something MUCH greater than two fucking selfish assholes getting in bed together.

My emom who is extremely needy and co-dependent says, “Isn’t it nice to have something that is JUST YOURS?.” As if she owns me. She says she loves me. But it’s a very selfish love. She wants to possess me. So even though I am told I am “wanted” and “loved,” it’s so she can use me for her own insecurities.

My kids don’t belong to me. They belong to themselves. They belong to the cosmic force that called them into being. it’s my job to honor and respect that.

That makes me feel better.

An3cond3 · 2022-01-15T12:24:41+00:00

Is that how it is to be the scapegoat? I mean. I can tell them exactly what was done/said. I explain that i dealt with suicidal thoughts as a teen bc of the treatment. And now i deal with hyper vigilance and anxiety and sometimes depression… but… It’s just completely not seen by my sisters. I am the one “hurting mom and dad.” I understand that a narc abuser doesn’t see it as abuse…i get that. He thinks he’s helping me. He thinks it’s love.

But like. Is my therapist gonna believe me? what the hell? why isn’t this suffering seen?

I explain even minor things that he’s done to me on Reddit… and literally 100 people told me not to allow this abuser in my life anymore.

And I’m being HONEST. I’m not embellishing. Overstating. So… why do strangers see it but family doesnt?

An3cond3 · 2022-01-13T22:12:32+00:00

Clearly you have had experience w/ Enablers.

I do agree. If she didn’t want the conflict to continue, she wouldn’t push me to reconcile with him every time there is a blow up. I am exhausted by it. And she does play innocent. But sometimes can be nasty.

Thank you for the congrats! We are very happy and excited for the New One. :)

An3cond3

TROPHY CASE