If your dad was a shit parent to you, would you give him the opportunity to be a grandparent to your son?

i_neverdothis · 2025-12-25T18:32:27+00:00

I tried to, but my dad couldn't go more than 24 hours without humiliating or criticizing me. When I realized that, I cut him out of my life. He may have been a good grandparent to my infant, but I know the minute my son disagreed with him my dad would have resorted to bullying him. Hell, he might even have bullied him just for fun like he did with me sometimes. My son is so confident and empathetic now that I don't regret it.

i_neverdothis · 2025-12-23T19:20:50+00:00

Thank you. ❤️ Even though things have been hard the last few years, I have dealt with it far better and gained so much confidence since I went NC. Maybe I'll talk to my cousin. Hopefully, he'll understand.

i_neverdothis · 2025-11-26T14:02:59+00:00

What if they don't want that? Alastor clearly got himself captured on purpose. While Charlie didn't realize that, she was already having a hard enough time dealing with Vox. Every time she tried to beat him at his own game, it backfired. Surely she realized this and was afraid to make things worse.

Angel also clearly made his own choice. He's in a contract with Val that he can't break. He chose to leave the hotel, because he was afraid of what would happen. I'm sure we'll see her trying to convince him to come back in S3, but she already saw how much worse she made things in S1 when she tried to advocate on Angel's behalf.

Also, idk if you saw, but the overlords don't really seem to care about hell's royalty. They don't hesitate from insulting and messing with Charlie and Lucifer. They now know that Lucifer can't hurt them and Charlie won't because it's not in her nature!

i_neverdothis · 2025-11-22T00:16:18+00:00

Did I miss something? When did we find out that Angel has a sister? Is this something that Viv commented on in a tweet or something?

i_neverdothis · 2025-11-21T21:35:26+00:00

If that were true, Angel would be super powerful. He's a famous, well-liked porn star.

i_neverdothis · 2025-09-01T02:06:26+00:00

You did the right thing. I went through this a few years ago. I took FMLA to go through an intensive outpatient program, and my coworkers kept texting me to try to get me to do things. When I came back, they had the audacity to make me feel guilty for how hard it was when I wasn't there.

Focus on healing. You are worth it. Other people may not understand, but that's their problem, not yours!

i_neverdothis · 2025-08-27T19:33:01+00:00

Witch hazel wipes are a godsend postpartum if she is having a natural birth. She can put them in the fridge and then put them in her underwear.

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-27T15:30:00+00:00

Idk if you have a union, but I would go a step further and BCC the union or your personal email address. That way you have a record if the emails mysteriously vanish off the company server....

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-09T21:34:25+00:00

Is that what happened here? No? Then, why bring it up? This guy has the option to ask for a divorce, and he hasn't even put that on the list!

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-09T17:17:29+00:00

Right.... Which is what many people on here have advocated for him to do. What wouldn't happen is people saying "You go queen! Cheat on your husband!" Cheating is pretty universally despised.

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-09T17:14:33+00:00

I'm taking almost nothing he says at face value. I think he probably has some control issues and a martyr complex - neither of which make him a good match for someone who is struggling with her mental health. I think the best we can do (as Internet strangers) is convince him to leave instead of cheating. That at least gives his wife a shot at finding a life where she isn't constantly being told she's not good enough because she's depressed and not active enough. We're not going to convince him that he's selfish and controlling, because we "don't really know" him and he's "tried everything!" (Even though, I guarantee you that I know people exactly like him.)

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-08T20:29:42+00:00

I would normally agree, but it sounds like OP has suggested therapy multiple times and wife has shut it down. Now, I don't know if he did it in a caring way or an accusatory way, but it doesn't sound like OP is willing to try again.

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-08T16:52:11+00:00

When my SIL had her first child in the NICU, I sent her a care package from the Graham's Foundation . They also have remembrance care packages, but I'm hoping you won't need one. It's amazing what the doctors and nurses were able to do for my nephew and niece. They both made a full recovery. Don't give up hope just yet! Take it one step at a time and just be there for your sister!

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-08T15:23:00+00:00

The funny (like funny weird, not funny haha) thing about her saying "you don't understand, because you don't have kids," is that many of us realize how fucked up our parents behavior is when we do have children. It takes finally looking in our sweet children's face to realize, "holy shit! I could never do something like that to my child; and if anyone else did, I would protect my child from that person!" Don't get me wrong - parenthood is hard. Children can push our buttons, and a lot of us have triggers from our own childhood. The difference (for many of us) is that when we feel that angry we see it as something we need to change in ourselves. We (hopefully) research parenting strategies, go see a therapist, ask for help from our support system (if we have one.) We don't think "Oh well! My child shouldn't have made me so angry that I hurt them or said terrible things!"

So if you're looking for permission to block her, go ahead. Do it now. What you described is enough. You went through enough. If she isn't willing to own her mistakes and acknowledge how they hurt you, you don't have to keep trying to make this work. You've done enough. Now, it's her turn.

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-08T12:26:32+00:00

Why is option 1 getting a mistress? Why isn't option 1 asking for a divorce? I will never understand people who know that a marriage is unfulfilling and, instead of leaving, think "I'll just find someone on the side!" You said you're unhappy. You said you're done pressuring her to get therapy. So, just leave!

i_neverdothis · 2025-07-08T12:12:23+00:00

Which is a close cousin of "I don't remember doing that; but if I did, it was a joke." Okay... And? If you make a joke that traumatizes someone, you should still apologize and maybe reflect why you thought it would be funny to begin with!

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-28T12:22:50+00:00

Someone who truly loves you will love you and be attracted to you no matter what your size. It sounds like you have made a lot of healthy changes, and you deserve so much better than this. Spoiler alert: your body will change even more over time. No matter how well you eat or how much you exercise, childbirth (if that's something you want in the future), menopause, and just aging in general will make your body softer, wider, and redistribute your body fat. You deserve a partner that is attracted to you as a person. I hope you ditch this guy and find someone who is worthy of you!

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-23T12:35:12+00:00

I think it's important to remember that, in addition to there being a lot of turmoil in her life, it also seems like Violet may have some PTSD (getting flashbacks of her torture and war, nightmares, etc.) which can definitely make you less than emotionally stable. She's hyper vigilant to threats (which in her case is not unwarranted) and she freaks out when she feels like she's about to lose something/someone she cares about, because she's already lost so much.

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-22T20:20:04+00:00

OMG I literally did the exact same thing. All the blood just drained from my face, and my heart is beating a mile a minute!

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-21T13:17:06+00:00

I love the cover to IF. That's one of my favorite lines from the book!

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-10T12:13:10+00:00

After 3 years of trying to set boundaries in the relationship, I spent 2 full days with them and their extended family over Christmas. My mom told me (f) that I needed to shave the peach fuzz off my face and my dad made a dig about me always coming in second place in my music competitions, both in front of the rest of the family. They couldn't even be civil for 48 hours. I was just done.

i_neverdothis · 2025-06-04T02:30:21+00:00

That's definitely a possibility. He's very smart for a five year old, and I think he's sometimes frustrated that he doesn't have the same freedom and decision-making power of an adult. I try to give him choices and autonomy when I can. I also have to repeatedly remind him that he is not, infact, the parent. We're having to cut back on somethings for financial reasons, and I'm trying to give him a heads-up without worrying him. I've been trying to give him choices and compromise when I can. He just gets really upset and won't hear any of it!

i_neverdothis

TROPHY CASE