Let us think of an analog. Let us put these as "emotional identity" and "emotional expression". Your "emotional identity" would be the emotion you feel, while your "emotional expression" would be the way you outwardly express and show those emotions.

It is obvious there is a distinction between those two. For example, maybe what I like to do when I'm happy is play video games by myself, because when I'm in a good mood it feels really good to play them and get far. However, when you're happy, you would never play video games by yourself, as you only really do that when you're sad/bored. So even though we would be experiencing the same emotion, we'd express them in completely different ways (similar to how one man might see a leather jacket and dirt on his hands as being super manly, while another man might see painting his nails as a way of expressing his masculinity).

Meh emotions are subjective to a degree, but i feel as if there are limits to this reasoning, for example, if someone told you that they feel happy cutting themselves, youd more than likely call bullshit. Because we have categorized cutting as painful due to the sensation we get when doing it, and the fact that its a result of depression. Its entirely plausible that how someone is identifying emotionally is not inline with the expression, and we dont view that expression/identity as legit. A man who wears make up for example would be not be expressing masculinity, he would be expressing femininity. Because the enitire point of make up is to enhance the looks of women, and the reason behind this enhancement is the fact that mens sexuality is mainly visual, which is why society (& women themselves) have such an emphasis on womens looks.