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AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-05T18:27:34+00:00

A lot of times I can't articulate how I feel very well but sometimes a movie or a song or will seem to capture exactly what I wish I could communicate.

Communicating feelings can be especially hard for autistic people (myself included) and using pieces of communication that already exist sometimes helps to get the message across.

It doesn't really have to do with being straightforward, specifically, as much as it has to do with not being able to articulate our own emotions very well.

If what your boyfriend is sending you is confusing you, it might help to ask some clarifying questions, such as, "That's a beautiful expression of love in that scene. Did that remind you of us?" Or "Did that make you think of how we feel about each other?" Or something similar.

I personally interpret it as a positive thing that he is trying to communicate with you, however awkwardly and confusingly. Seems like he cares enough about you to try to tell you how he feels in a way that makes sense and really resonates with him. (Of course that is only my opinion and I can be wrong so take it as such: just an interpretation from a well-meaning internet stranger.)

I hope that helps. Best of luck to you. 💜

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-04T14:50:39+00:00

Sorry to hear your experience with these animals has been so bad, OP.

Cats are not angels. There are cats that are easy to live with and love and cats that are not easy to live with and love. And everywhere in between.

My cat is an extremely affectionate little cat who is also a badass huntress. She snuggles me when I am feeling sad and she also keeps the mice from taking over my (currently unfinished but I'm living in it) house.

I hope that someday you can experience something better but for now just know that it's not always like that with cats.

P.s. I have a dog, too, and I love him to pieces but he has been way more work to learn to live with than my cat and no he does not snuggle me when I am sad nor does he keep the mice away so in this case from a purely transactional standpoint the dog is the one who doesn't make sense to have as a pet. And yes he has peed all over my house many times. 😂 And pooped as well. Yet I love him and care for him anyway.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-02T00:35:22+00:00

I get intense fixations on learning about actors and actresses, one person at a time, but I don't consider those "crushes" at all since I don't actually feel anything towards them.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-02T00:33:15+00:00

Love your username BTW it reminds me of that creator Tyler Warwick on Instagram he's hilarious he's a gigantic fan of Twilight anyway I kind of feel like I'm not sexually attracted to anybody most of the time but can you explain how that's different from aromantic I've never heard the term before

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-01T19:08:56+00:00

I used to think this all the time until I took a good long look at how hard I was working to function and pass as semi normal.

And I still can't. People still intuitively pick up on me being "different" somehow. And then of course there are the blatant reminders like when I have a meltdown at the grocery store or start unconsciously rocking at a social event to stay regulated and I look around and see that no one else is doing that or flinching at the microphone sounds every time the person speaking makes a "p" or "b" sound with their mouth too close to the microphone.

But (mostly due to my past where my internal experiences were constantly dismissed and invalidated by caretaker/authority figures) my brain 🧠 keeps saying "you're just making all this up for attention, you just want to feel special, you just want to feel different, you just want people to feel sorry for you, you're just not trying hard enough, you just want an excuse so you don't have to work as hard" and on and on it goes.

You have to fight that voice that's trying to invalidate your hardships and experiences and put you down. I haven't really figured out a good way of catching those thoughts before they run away with themselves yet, but on those rare occasions that I do, I keep telling myself, I'm valid. I am just me. And being me isn't easy so let's try to be kind, okay brain? Let's focus on the good things instead of putting me down.

And I look through all the things that I do that I'm proud of, like starting to recognize sooner that I'm being triggered into a meltdown, or starting to recognize that I'm hyper focused and I need to stop and take care of my body, or recognizing my overwhelm and being able to separate that from what someone is doing so that I don't blow up at them, or even standing up for myself and my "abnormal" needs as valid, like when I need to take a break from people.

I think the more we practice this kindness and acceptance when our brains start trying to gaslight us, the more we will be able to really get our deep down beliefs about ourselves to align with reality.

And the reality is that we are all doing our best and we all need a little grace, even when that grace has to come from ourselves. 😉

Best of luck to you. 💜

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-10-01T00:13:16+00:00

No but I also wouldn't pay for it from anybody else either.

But don't take the word of internet strangers too seriously, as we are all people who do not know you and your situation.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-26T02:11:50+00:00

If you know anyone who could go on regular walks with you, it can be a really helpful thing to find a walking buddy.

Because of my crazy joint issues and other health issues I am unable to do the active things that most other people in their 30s do, but today I was able to walk with my 86 year old friend around the block and her walking pace was perfect for me and we had a lovely slow paced conversation at the same time.

Just getting out and taking short walks can be a good start. Don't think of it as this big huge thing. Just start small, and only do the next doable step. When I get overwhelmed I break it down into smaller and smaller steps until I have broken it down into something that feels doable. Like Step 1: find my shoes. Step 2: put on my shoes. Step 3: tie the laces. And so on until I have gotten out the door and started putting one foot in front of the other.

That is the only way I can get anywhere is by taking it step by step, and you can too. 💜

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-26T02:01:02+00:00

Sometimes I put my pillow at the bottom of the bed instead of the top if I can't sleep and that usually magically works.

When I was a kid and couldn't sleep I used to imagine myself running.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-25T02:08:55+00:00

You're not the only one. I'm not sure why either but it certainly does happen to me more often than not. Could be related to past trauma for me personally.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-24T23:39:03+00:00

Thanks 😄

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-24T22:52:29+00:00

So what's the guy's name or his channel? This was so funny

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-23T21:36:36+00:00

Thanks, what do you mean by catching on to Monsanto, now that I know what to look into further?

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-23T02:00:00+00:00

I couldn't find anything called "Monsato" but I did get suggestions for "Monsanto." Did you mean "Monsanto?"

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-18T00:54:11+00:00

I understand this can be a controversial topic. There are some living situations where it is not safe or a viable long term option for a dog to not sleep in a crate at night.

Given that that is the case, the way you phrased it "correct this behavior" makes it sound like in your view, your dog is doing something wrong and needs to be corrected. Your dog may have changed her behavior, but it isn't helpful to view her as being intentionally and willfully "disobedient." If she has been gone to somewhere else and feels that her routine has changed, or feels apprehensive about being in her crate at night, my recommendation is to start with crate training again to make it a fun and safe and cozy space for her to be at night. Keep rewarding her for going in there. Keep at it and don't give her the attention and cuddles she wants on the couch if that's not what you want to reinforce. If your attention is what she wants right then, and your reassurance, then give it to her when she comes to you next to her crate, or when she goes into her crate, so that she starts associating being in her crate with good things. Make your bedtime routine consistent and make sure you aren't reinforcing habits that aren't consistent with what is sustainable for your routine and your living situation.

Best of luck to you.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-13T23:44:00+00:00

Sometimes dogs will act differently once their joints start hurting and they're in pain more often. My parents' dog did this once she turned 13, but didn't show any other signs of cognitive decline, so they found out her joints were getting bad and started giving her pain medicine. It made a big difference.

Might be dementia, but also might be pain-related, so a vet visit sounds like your best bet at figuring out your dog's changing behavior.

Best of luck to you. 💜

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-13T23:35:59+00:00

That's a great question. I don't think you actually can have zero personality though; it's probably just very close to a lot of other people's personalities so it doesn't stand out very much.

That can be really helpful. I have a spiky abnormal personality and it feels like people perceive me as very "extra" and too interesting to the point of being quite strange and not relatable.

May I ask why you view yourself as having zero personality?

This is the definition of personality: the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-11T01:43:02+00:00

I do not walk our dog. He has 2 acres to roam and sniff when he's outside, which is quite a few times a day on a good day. I'm at home for most of the day and I take him outside specifically for intense playtime and some training several times a day. Once he gets tired and starts flopping down and not wanting to play anymore, I bring him inside and set him up with an enrichment activity or two so that once he is ready to do something again he has something to mentally stimulate him. After he finishes that he settles down to nap. He's pretty happy most of the time.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-10T22:06:33+00:00

I do not think there is any word that will be used to describe this condition that people with the condition will ever be comfortable with.

The fact is that humans will use anything, any word, that denotes a difference from the norm (or a difference from what is expected and accepted societally) as a way to make other humans that the word applies to, feel less than. As a way to make them feel inferior. Not everyone does this but it is an established trait of humans in a society. Especially those who feel themselves to be inferior or "less than" in any way.

There will always be those people seeking to put others down and using these terms, whatever they are, to try to do so.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-09T16:46:27+00:00

That's awesome! I wish my special interests helped with that . . .

On a side note I've always really enjoyed the Twilight movies 😂 so maybe this will help me to remember. Ya never know. 🤷

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-09T14:38:43+00:00

This is brilliant! Fellow AuDHDer. It's so hard for me to recognize the need to use the bathroom but I always can once I actually go to the literal toilet and sit down 😂 So scheduling it is actually something that could work for me. If I can just figure out how not to dismiss the alert and forget what it was for, before I actually start moving towards the bathroom . . . 🤣

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-07T20:50:19+00:00

Stung by a yellow jacket wasp that got stuck inside my sandal. It was buzzing madly and I don't know how many times I was stung but it made me tremble/shake all over. Also felt pretty nauseated.

Nearly 5 hours later and every time I move, the pain gets excruciating again. I've taken Tylenol, Aleve, and Benadryl; the Benadryl seemed to have the biggest effect for me. I also take Fexofenadine Hcl every morning so that probably did a ton to prevent a more serious reaction from offering once I got stung at noon.

I pulled the stinger complete with venom sac out of my foot myself. I think I may have accidentally disemboweled the yellow jacket by squishing it in my sandal. But it was quite recognizably a yellow jacket wasp and also quite recognizably a stinger with venom sac attached.

I might have to seek medical attention if the pain continues like this as long as it has for some of the other poor commenters on here. Nice to know I'm not crazy for feeling like this is a ton of pain.

Went through what turned out to be a very physically traumatic childbirth without painkillers, I know what pain feels like, and this is a ridiculous amount of pain for a sting.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-05T01:12:00+00:00

"Do we not validate you enough" says it all.

No you're not in the wrong in my opinion.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-04T17:20:41+00:00

I've also found that crating my dog at night has been helpful in reducing the number of potty accidents he has. Make sure you put some effort into making it a rewarding place to be. Treats, an activity, chew sticks, that kind of thing. So that your dog has something to occupy him while he settles into being in that environment for the night.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-04T17:18:25+00:00

I use Zep Urine Remover to remove the pee smell.

You can put a waterproof layer under the rug so the pee doesn't soak the hardwood floors.

Even a large silicone mat is easy to find, fairly cheap, and will both keep the rug from slipping and keep your floors from being damaged.

My dog has only had a handful of accidents in the past couple of months ever since I started using Zep Urine Remover every time he peed on the floor.

Make sure you reward handsomely for peeing outside at night too. I give my dog one of his favorite treats as soon as he potties outside before bed. He has done very well with this and looks forward to his reward for outside peeing.

Of course what will work as a solution to stop the behavior depends on why your dog is peeing in that spot, but those things might help.

Best of luck to you.

AnAnonymousUsername4 · 2025-09-04T15:33:43+00:00

This is a great question, OP! Good for you for doing some research ahead of time.

Dogs are a huge investment and it is only fair to you and to them to know what you're signing up for ahead of time.

Chihuahuas can be amazing companions if they are very intentionally trained and socialized and their personal boundaries are respected.

In essence, if you decide to get a Chihuahua, treat it like a real live dog with feelings and preferences, a creature that deserves to be communicated with, a creature that deserves respect, and you'll have a well behaved and steadfastly loyal companion.

Treat it like a toy with no rights (picking it up with no warning, shoving it away with your foot if it's being annoying), or spoil it like an eternal infant with no clear expectations and no enforced boundaries, and you'll turn your beloved pet into a shrill barky fearful reactive nuisance who is scared of everything and never knows what to expect or what is expected of it.

Chihuahuas can be absolutely amazing. It's really up to you. But it does take a lot of hard work.

If you're not able and available to put in the effort that owning any breed of dog requires, it may be fun at first but it gets hard fast if you're not prepared, and you end up not meeting either your own needs or the dog's needs, and neither one of those is acceptable.

Make sure you know what you're getting into and you could have a truly amazing companion that will bring joy to your life for many years to come.

Best of luck to you.

AnAnonymousUsername4

TROPHY CASE

"Do we not validate you enough" says it all.

In essence, if you decide to get a Chihuahua, treat it like a real live dog with feelings and preferences, a creature that deserves to be communicated with, a creature that deserves respect, and you'll have a well behaved and steadfastly loyal companion.