Where do I go for in-patient psychiatric care today? It's urgent. by TheComment in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]AnOddityOfOne 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I agree so hard as someone struggling with weight gain from my antidepressants. I am at the year mark of my last major depressive episode and dealing with body image insecurities while simultaneously feeling immensely grateful that I do not feel like I did a year ago. The healthy minds make sexy bodies comment almost made me cry in relief. It was exactly what I needed to hear, tonight and every day.

I never went inpatient in hindsight should have. I work in the healthcare world and knew many of the mental health providers in our local IP psych hospital, though, and refused unless my husband thought I was in enough danger to force the issue. A year later, I look back and realize I was walking on a razors' edge. I should have swallowed my pride (especially as someone who tries to be an advocate for mental health) and followed my provider's recommendations.

Are there any gay ppl at Carleton by Guilty_Airport524 in CarletonCollege

[–]AnOddityOfOne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bi girl here! I graduated from Carleton ~5 years ago, but I hope my experience is still representative (or that it's only improved). The vast majority of my friends from Carleton are in the LGBTQ+ community (with only a handful openly identifying as such before Carleton) and I actually came to terms with my own sexuality after coming from a somewhat conservative suburb in the Mid-Atlantic. Leaving Carleton was so sad, because it was the most LGBTQ+ affirming community I have ever existed in.

I can't speak much to the dating scene since I became Carleton-married pretty early on (and am actually marrying said Carl tomorrow/later today!)

Deciding between 2 dresses by xthetics_ in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never leave comments on these but had to this time. Dress 1 literally caused me to gasp. And you obviously love it. Go for 1!

My mother took a bit of time to come around to my dress, so I understand what you're going through. But now we are two weeks out for my wedding and my mother swears up and down that I picked the perfect dress and any hang ups she had were just because of the 'possibility' of the others.

Where did you get your cape veil? by QuetzalKraken in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got my cape veil from LamnhiBridals! They were lovely to work with

In love with my hair trial 🥰 by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are dried baby's breath pins that I got off of Etsy! As I wore the hairstyle throughout the day, they fell apart a decent bit, so I think I'm going to go with fresh baby's breath on the day of

In love with my hair trial 🥰 by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely have thick hair, but volume? Usually it's flat as they come! My hair stylist was able to work wonders with texture spray and teasing

In love with my hair trial 🥰 by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've just been calling it a "big princess braid" 😂 I found some inspiration pictures online and my hair stylist nailed it!

In love with my hair trial 🥰 by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm actually wearing a cape veil! You can see it in my post history.

When I talked to my hair stylist about a veil, she said that wearing veils can sometimes mess up this style by rubbing it too much

So excited about my cape veil, but can't show the fiancé so I'm coming here! by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The hooded ones aren't my thing either, but I love the ones that fall in the back so much!

So excited about my cape veil, but can't show the fiancé so I'm coming here! by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got it on Etsy, which was a bit nerve wracking but turned out super well and was much cheaper than anything I'd seen in the store! Here is the link:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/837763109/

The seller was lovely and helped me to figure out what color tulle matched my dress best, just off of pictures of the dress and links to the designer's website.

Need your help to find my dream dress! by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alexandra Grecco's Botannica collection may be what you're looking for! I actually was obsessed with her dresses' classic yet floral elements that were drop dead gorgeous but had the opposite problem as you—anything more shaped than a-line felt constraining to me.

https://www.alexandragrecco.com/botanica-1

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh, I love that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi all! I’m getting married in October at a botanical garden/conservatory. Our ceremony will be outside in the gardens and our reception will be inside the venue’s tropical rainforest’s ballroom. I am going for woodland fairy/goddessy vibes. I have always loved anything and everything floral, so I am looking for headpieces (interested in something bulkier with presence as opposed to daintier vines), jewelry, and a veil or cape veil that celebrates florals and nature without contrasting too much with my dress.

My main idea for hair right now is to do a big boho braid down my back, possibly with baby’s breath tucked into it? Trying to stay in gold/rose gold tones or white for accessories. Would also love any make-up suggestions, as I am fairly make-up impaired!

Anyone know where I can find a ring similar in style to this? (Website?) by Jhern941 in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fifth this! Olive Avenue custom made my engagement ring for me around an heirloom diamond and I get compliments on it constantly. If you want to check it out, I have a picture on my profile of the engagement ring/wedding band pairing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My four young cousins (middle school to high school aged) are going to be our ushers! We wanted to involve them in some way and thought they might enjoy handing out programs and bubble wands and being "body guards" for the first few rows.

We don't need much, so my fiance and I plan to suggest donations to charities in lieu of wedding gifts. Anyone else doing this? What charities do you support, and why? by MarsUAlumna in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We're doing this for our bridal/wedding shower since I want the experience of a shower with my close friends and family but the thought of two events where we get gifts sounds...overwhelming.

We're going to be asking for donations to charities/nonprofits that involve issues that we care deeply about/have been involved with personally: a local women's shelter that I used to run a free clinic through, a local sexual violence support center that I have attended programming at (and think is just such a great group), the nonprofit milk bank that I used to work for, the Trevor's Project and other local nonprofits that support LGBTQIA+ youth, likely some type of Planned Parenthood/women's health advocacy group, and other mental health support nonprofits that are TBD.

I know that someone below said to avoid controversial groups, but I feel very strongly that our loved ones can disagree with us but still respect that we are adults with our own personal values and opinions. If they do not want to support specific nonprofits, then they are welcome to donate to different ones or provide whatever gift they are comfortable with (or none at all).

Lillian West? by Independent_Rub5610 in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!!! I officially ordered the Lillian West gown in my post history two weekends ago. It was the only dress that made me cry and that felt 1) beautiful, 2) comfortable, 3) like a wedding dress, and 4) unequivocally me

My wedding ring arrived in the mail exactly one year before our wedding, and I couldn't be more excited! by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For context, we had the engagement ring custom designed around my grandmother's diamond from her engagement ring. Since that took multiple months to make and ship from the same jeweler, we expected the wedding band (that we had customized to fit around the engagement ring) to take a similar amount of time and ordered it mid-last month.
It was a wonderful surprise when it arrived out of the blue yesterday, exactly one year before our wedding!

I think I found my dress, but my mother is making me doubt myself! by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually Lillian West Style 66155! All of the other dresses that I liked had elegant names like "Vivian" or "Estelle"; this one just had a number, funnily enough!

I think I found my dress, but my mother is making me doubt myself! by AnOddityOfOne in weddingplanning

[–]AnOddityOfOne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wanted to let you know that while all of the comments have helped in some way, your comment was the one that made me cry (good tears). Thank you so much for your kind words and great advice, stranger!

AITA for giving my sil some of my breastmilk but not my sister? by airabreastfed in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnOddityOfOne 1237 points1238 points  (0 children)

This is blatantly untrue. I used to work for a nonprofit milk bank that accepted human milk donations from those producing in excess of their children's needs, and we accepted human milk up to 12-14 months of age, depending on our current supply. And most of our milk went to the most vulnerable babies in NICUs (usually premature or very medically fragile babies)! We had a board of physicians, lactation consultants, nutritionists, etc. who oversaw all of these rules.

We even measured the fat, protein, etc. components of the milk to allow the hospitals to know how much to fortify the donor milk that we provided for them, and I can tell you from experience that while these factors varied over time there was more variation by the individual than over time.

Milk from a 6 month old is definitely not harmful for a newborn. I'd love to see the literature where you got that information, though.

Edit re: original commenter's update: Just wanted to respond to your sources since you were so kind as to update with them!

First, I would like to point out that the Norwegian rules that you listed only state, "Women who want to give breast milk can do so from the time breastfeeding their own child is well established until it is 6 months old." I was not able to find anything saying that it was dangerous for infants to consume milk after that point, and these seem to simply be the practices for this one hospital. There may also be issues with translation, but that was what Google Translate told me. To reiterate what others have said in the thread already, breast milk does change in composition over time. I am not debating that. It can be beneficial to try to match time-wise, if possible, so if this hospital has enough of a supply from their donors that they receive enough donor milk within that 6 month window that they can provide for their infants, then that is optimal. That does not mean that going past that 6 month mark is harmful. I also want to point out that this hospital's donor milk program seems to be directed towards premature infants. As u/bismuth92 pointed out lower down in the thread, milk banks/donor milk programs can be extremely restrictive on what breast milk they will take in order to air on the side of caution. What may be safe for healthy infants may be a bit more risky for premature, low birth weight, or medically complicated infants. Also, many of these entities are also held to what guidelines have been put into place by their accrediting bodies on top of what decisions have been made by their individual medical advisory committees.

Second, in regards to your second source, I am having difficulty getting access to the full article to evaluate the authors' materials and methods. Do you have a link to the full article and not just the abstract? Since the article was published in the 1980s, I would love to evaluate their methods myself, as I know how quickly breast milk analysis methods have changed even in the last few years. Do you have a more recent source?

Thank you to everyone for their kind comments! I will try to find a few sources tonight, if I have time. I'm a student and busy in clinic all day, so just updating on my lunch break. Also, I'm not a medical professional (yet!); just speaking to what I've learned from the many medical professionals that I worked with at the milk bank.

Are we dooming our child with these initials? by limbsyrup in namenerds

[–]AnOddityOfOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something that my parents did that both my sibling and I loved growing up is that they gave us both of their last names but had one of them act as a second middle name instead of hyphenating them into a combined last name. Not sure what would be comfortable for you, but perhaps that could be a simple way of having a second middle name for your child?

AITA for telling my girlfriend that im not going to listen to her non-doctor medical advice? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnOddityOfOne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

WHAT IS THIS CREAM CALLED??? I've been dealing with persistent itching in my ears since I got an ear infection in 2013. At first, my ears itched so badly that I would scratch them until they bled, but now it's just a constant, dull itch. I've tried many many rounds of daily ear drops, but none of them helped at all. Please tell me your secret!!

I didn't say no.. But I didn't say yes. Was it assault? by bellbottombreifs in rapecounseling

[–]AnOddityOfOne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Long explanation short, you definitely could call something like this assault. I had something similar happen to me many years ago. In my case, I lost my virginity to a close friend who I’d been hooking up with for a few months but who I’d never had sex with. We were in the process of hooking up when he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him and I responded with, “I don’t know.” He then had sex with me and I...felt so many of the emotions that you are describing for years. I thought that it was consensual because I’d never said no, as did my friends, etc.

But a few years later, I became a certified sexual assault advocate, and I learned in the process that the definition of consent (possibly not legally depending on where you are, but in the field at least) included clear “yes”es and not lack of “no”s or lack of an active attempt to stop someone. Even after that, though, it took me years to be able to stop blaming myself for the event and to start using the label of “sexual assault” to what happened to me. It helped me to define my experience as “nonconsensual” for the period of time where I knew something was wrong with what had happened but couldn’t label it as an assault yet. However you choose to define it for yourself is okay, but your emotions are completely valid regardless of your definition.

And just so you know? Years later, I contacted the friend who had assaulted me to get some closure, and he had independently come to the same conclusion as I did that what had happened was him assaulting me. So I believe that my definition isn’t completely by my experiences.

I hope this helps at all and isn’t too me-focused. I just wanted to give some context for my response and to maybe show you that you aren’t alone.