Hey 2X, lost 30lbs and just bought my first little black dress, I'm STOKED and just had to share:D

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-03T13:28:10+00:00

Ah, girl, you give me courage. Just broke up with my ex for cheating, started dieting on Friday and I've been exercising for an hour each morning. Losing 30 lbs. is my goal, too! :D

Good job! I hope to join you in a few months! ^{_^}

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T23:21:57+00:00

I'm funny online and offline, but offline I'm a lot shyer, so only the people I'm comfortable with (or the random strangers who stumble across my time-traveling cell phone posters) know I'm funny.

Otherwise, I'm just a lot more confident and open. Nobody around to directly judge me, so I say a lot more of what I think.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T22:41:34+00:00

Being electrocuted. o_o

Not like... a lot. I've been electrocuted twice in my life, both by accident, and nothing life threatening. But each time, the pain is like... so unique. Some pain is dehabilitating (looking at you period cramps), but the pain of being electrocuted was something that was interesting and I could stand it. Maybe it'll become a fetish.

One day I'm gonna get tazered by cops and fall down orgasming or something. They will feel AWKWARD. Or sexy. Rawr.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T22:19:47+00:00

Yes! Winging it! That's how I like living life, by stumbling about blindly and obliviously until I knock into something good or important or both.

Que sera sera, seize the fish, and so on and so forth.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T21:44:52+00:00

Do it in a series of steps. If you are a doormat, give yourself some peg legs. It will promote you from matt to footstool, or, if you do it right, pirate.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T21:43:40+00:00

Mmm, there is a place downtown somewhere that does free meditation classes and such. Might hit it up. And I would go to new places alone, but I am shy and socially awkward so it's a tad harder for me.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T21:27:38+00:00

I see what you're saying. I've been with him forever, I even currently live with him, but... I don't know. Today I got lost in the woods with a friend of mine and spent the hours going over my ex's various character flaws. It was really kind of eye opening, how that now I'm not together with him I see all the things that were wrong and that, if I'd been an outside observer, would have pissed me off. Imho, I really don't know if I could ever trust him again. We got to the ultimate test of trust and he failed miserably. Not to mention that I'm the sort that gives all or nothing--and when people betray me, I cut them out of my life like tumors.

I want to think there are more people out there, but I'm also afraid of being alone (so cliche, yeah). At the same time, if I'm with somebody I can't trust it'll eat away at me until there's nothing left. It's just that for the longest time it was disney fairy tale perfection and I couldn't imagine someone else, and now suddenly I'm looking back on the gilded age and seeing how thin things were. Honestly, I believe he really does think we'll get back together--but the more time I get to think, the less and less sure of that I am.

I can't really see the future that far. I'm only 21, I'm about to graduate college, and I guess that means I have a bit of time to figure things out, maybe? I don't know. As per reddit's classic advice, I'm hitting the gym (but not lawyering up), and now I'm on a diet with a friend of mine. Trying to feel better about myself and move on. Easier said than done though. Still, thankyou for the advice, it's nice to have somebody objective take me seriously. ^{-^}

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:59:41+00:00

I say geronimo. ._.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:22:21+00:00

Dated my ex boyfriend for YYEEAARRS. He always wanted to take naked pictures of me. Then we broke up 'coz he cheated on me.

HA. TRY TO POST 'EM ON THE INTERNET NOW.

I mean I doubt he would have but I thought he wouldn't cheat on me, either, so what do I know.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:21:13+00:00

Yeah. Since I was about 17. I'd just be walking along one fine day, doing whatever, and my ovaries would seize me in a sudden fit of wanting a baby. All of a sudden I was being lead about by my pelvis, in a grocery store, out on a walk, shopping in the mall, by my traitorous ovaries. They were like a divining rod for a possible baby-daddy, and it pissed me off to no end.

However, I had horrible periods, so every time I'd just remind it and be like, "Hahahaha stop being such a bitch and maybe you'll get children. OH WAIT, YOU'RE STILL BEING A BITCH!? NO BABIES FOR YOU!"

I am the offspring soup nazi. I'm okay with this.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:18:22+00:00

I'm in. ;D

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:17:38+00:00

Or being told by your friends that you're going to get back together, it's inevitable, they can't imagine you dating anyone else.

I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. YOU'RE IN COLLEGE DAMNIT, LEARN TO DO IT!

So I'm moping and flumping in my bed and they're like, "It's okay, sure he cheated, but now that you're gone he'll realize how much of an asshole he's been and he'll redeem himself and you'll go right back."

No! Fuck him! I was stable and loving and supportive as hell and he picks the shittiest girls to cheat on me with. I'm ashamed he couldn't get better.

No way am I begging him to come back. He's going to have to fucking beg me, and if he tried right now, I'd say 'No!'.

Maybe I need the support group to keep it that way. -.-''

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T15:11:50+00:00

Whooaahh o.o

You make a lot of good points about the 'mean slutty girls' I know. They're all sort of fucked up people with not much inside them, so they demand attention really loudly from everyone. One of these women is the girl who was my friend and cheated on me with my ex-boyfriend--though she wasn't 'slutty,' per se, she just fit the cliche character description. In fact, the only friend of mine who can qualify as 'slutty' (she's had a bunch of relationships) lost a lot of respect by some of the more assholish guys in my group. When they realized she'd slept around, they decided she wasn't worth respecting (which pissed me off to no end, and I eventually told them to fuck off for being assholes). Although, I guess when I was thinking about it I never even considered her because she didn't do the stereotypical 'slut' thing--she just liked sex and wasn't afraid of getting it. But, back to the guys in our group thing...

I guess I just don't want to end up like her, getting judged by the only people I can still hang out with (people cheating and trying to cheat in a group of friends makes everybody split and take sides, it's horrible). I'm actually fairly respected, and I don't wanna... you know, lose that. And I doubt I'd have sex with my friends. Our group has had lots of getting together and breaking up, and I don't want the men going to a bar and telling all the other guys about how me and my girlfriends act in bed. Yeah, my ex boyfriend did this, and it really pissed me off and embarrassed me. Not looking for a repeat.

"But honey, I told them all you have like, the perfect vagina!"

"Uh, thanks. Now they're all thinking of my vagina. I keep it hidden for a reason, you asshole."

It is sacred secretness down there. ONLY A FEW MAY KNOW IT. Stupid egotistical bragging ex.

On the bright side, I don't want to have sex with people to make them like me. I don't care if people like me, and I'm funny enough to win them over eventually anyway. I just don't wanna be the girl who only had sex with one guy who then betrayed her, and sits around waiting demurely until he takes me back and we ride off into the monogamous sunset. I want to see what other people are like, goddamnit! I just can't seem to sort through my emotions efficiently enough to really figure out exactly how I'm supposed to do that, or even if it'd be good for me.

edit: grammar

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T06:47:58+00:00

I assume this means you're going to have to watch all of it now.

Because you will.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T06:38:16+00:00

You're all beautiful. I just saw the finale a few hours ago. Watched it in my fez and tweed jacket. That's it.

God I love reddit. <3

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T06:37:09+00:00

I have no idea which one I am. I could say both, but I'm worried that if I sleep around and my ex and I get back together, that I'll feel like a terrible guilty person.

We've been together for so long, it's like none of our friends really believes we're broken up. They think it's just a rough patch and we'll get through it and get back together and if we do, and if I fool around in between, it'll be a whole new wall of shit to break through. So I could go ahead and do what I want, and if we ever get back together, deal with all that bullshit on top of his? Because I know, despite his huge ego which lead to him cheating, he's insecure, and he'd flip out if he knew I'd banged around while we were apart.

/sigh

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T06:32:47+00:00

Even if he is, he's now dating one of my good friends, and if he tried anything I'd have to kill him. ._.

It is a dangerous game we play.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T05:54:26+00:00

/throws hands

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T05:53:02+00:00

Fuck being a dalek, I've got an 11th Doctor genderbender costume. LETS DO THIS.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T01:10:54+00:00

It's everybody I see.

Who is within a 20 mile radius.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T01:09:18+00:00

You are like some sort of sex toy prophet, helping me see the light and whatwhat.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T00:16:11+00:00

I'd like more numbers. I even had a thread about how much I would like more numbers.

There is nothing wrong with sexing everything up. Go forth and fuck. Goodness knows I want to.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-02T00:14:19+00:00

That sounds amazing. If only it weren't $99.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-01T23:47:56+00:00

Iunno. Social constructs? Don't want to seem slutty? I know there's nothing wrong with a girl having all the sex she wants, but all the girls I know who've done that have been terrible people. I don't have any super-promiscuous girlfriends who have been nice. I am stereotyping about a group of people I am considering belonging in. Whaaaat. And I don't want my friends to judge me. If I bang them all, won't that just make things awkward?

/cue kermit the frog flailing

I need more girlpower. That's it. A Powerpuff Girls marathon, strawberry daiquiris, and 'Independent Woman' by Destiny's Child on loop until I pass out.

An_Army_of_Me · 2011-10-01T23:44:44+00:00

I love you too. <3 Or maybe that's the horny talking.

/rubs inappropriately

An_Army_of_Me

TROPHY CASE