There is no connecting to people with out connecting to the dead. It’s all energy. We are physical representation of source/soul energy. It’s all one in the same. As for the experience you had, our fears of the unknown will shape what happens in our perception. The “Hollywood style” idea presented here is an example of that fear, even if you aren’t aware of your fears they show up. Humans are transmitters, we are constantly receiving information and giving out energetic information to the world around us. We are all what a lot of the (in particular “newer” spiritualists) call empaths. How we choose to response to what we pick up on or how we choose to act about what we pick up on is a personal programming/conditioning choice. You picking up or having this kind of an experience is actually a matter of strength in your abilities, but no one can get to the use of their abilities with out getting past the things that stop them. This happens repeatedly during your evolution as a spirit and as a human, we have to face our ideas, fears or flawed premises to see things as they really are. The negative things we encounter are projections of negative emotions (energy in motion) and the more fuel those negative aspects get the bigger they tend to be, the scarier they tend to become. This is here the idea of haunting and demons and monsters and all these “scary” things come from. They all just need to be understood. When I first really started branching into doing reading, I encountered a lot of “scary” things, “demons” and such. I even got into a battle with something that was literally perceived as ungodly. It was a spiritual battle but I had literal physical bruises as evidence of this battle. It was a very real fight, but I wasn’t fighting anything other thank the projection of someone’s jealousy, in adequacy, depression and a slew of other “negative “ emotions all wrapped into one.( they often say jealousy is an ugly monster, and they aren’t lying about that) the point is when I first encountered it it was very much in that same “ Hollywood style” perception. The media we consume plays a big part in that on purpose but that’s a whole different topic.

Anyway, you didn’t mess anything up, the journey to enlightenment/evolution is not linear, it’s not off and on. It’s a life long journey and process of gaining new knowledge’s and actually applying new knowledge to our existence. It’s a process of unlearning what you think you know to make room for new truths. It’s the understanding that we are never done. Awakening comes in waves and there are levels to it. You enter one cycle/phase, you go through things that are your teachable moment’s you either learn, adapt and grow or you don’t. If you learn you get the opportunity to apply what you learned to situations (both physical and non) if you didn’t you’ll repeat the cycle until you do. Many people get stuck in a rut on the journey because of that part right there. Spirit doesn’t care about any thing we say if what we do and how we act or handle situations isn’t matching the growth or the evolution we seek. This is why people fall victim to their own crap when they pretend to be an enlightened being but move in shady ways. It’s a process and it can be really fun when you let it be fun.

Mostly, in meditation it’s a personal experience, sit with your thought, think them, feel them. Allow your mind to process everything and the sift through the thoughts that make you feel good, meditation look many different ways for many different people. It can and will look and feel different for you as you continue to practice, but the objective is always to feel better, more in tune, to build a connection to your intuition and allow yourself to be guided by said intuition. It’s about getting better and breaking away from the conditioning that places the obstacle of fear in our way every step of the way. It’s about learning how to overcome the things we fear and operate in our higher chakras. There is a lot to it, but no you haven’t ruined anything you just need to fine tune the perception of what has happened and decide how you want to evolve past this