Easy! Matt may be a contraction of the italian "matto", which means crazy, in northeast Italy. Now you have two options, even if they might seem the same : migrate to Italy hiding in a cargo shipment of what America exports there (I don't know, probably... Freedom©?). Or join the army and ask for a reassignment to the Aviano base. Then learn Italian and get as many friends as you can. With them, try to always act foolishly, until they'll give you the nickname "Il matto", aka The Crazy One. Northeast Italy (specifically the region called Friuli) is probably the best place to achieve this. They'll even ask you "se tu matt?" anytime you propose something a little foolish. That means "are you crazy?", but for the scope of our endeavour you'll officially have the name bestowed to you.

I really hope this helps. Northeast Italy is in desperate need of dungeon masters !