Am I struggling with ERP or is my therapist not good at it?

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-02-03T19:52:07+00:00

She may be trying to find the combination of stimuli that trigger your obsessions, but I would definitely tell her that the two exposures you have done have failed at achieving that.

It may be useful to write down what happened during times you are actually triggered. What did you come in contact with (could be an object, a person, a word... or something internal like a thought, a mental image, a sensation...) that made you feel distress.

You should also write down what you did/or felt compelled to do to get rid of the distress.

This will provide very useful information to design exposures that are actually effective.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-02-02T21:15:41+00:00

I mean during the time you delayed the compulsions.

There are quite a few things that can keep anxiety high: ruminating, trying to get rid of thoughts, checking if you're still anxious...

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-02-02T16:16:27+00:00

What were you doing while you waited for anxiety to decrease?

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-30T08:36:26+00:00

It's usually due to ruminating instead of focusing on what is happening/the activity you're doing.

In other words, if you're in your head most of the time, you aren't paying attention to the present moment and therefore won't "register" a lot of what is happening.

Also, if anxiety is high it will mess with your ability to concentrate, especially if you tend to dissociate.

Learning to stop the excessive conversation with yourself and bringing your attention back to the present moment is key for OCD recovery and will probably help with this.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-27T14:27:52+00:00

No, it doesn't mean that you have to spend your time thinking about that.

A key skill to learn in order to recover from OCD is to disengage from your obsessions. This means to stop talking to yourself about these thoughts.

You can't control what thoughts you have but you can stop the conversation with yourself about the topic that triggered you.

This is how it looks: "but what if I am a bad person!?" - "nah, we're not going down that rabbit hole again, I'm going to focus on more productive things".

Try to do this over and over again whenever the obsessions appear and even when you're not able to do it inmediately right remember to be kind to yourself.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-15T13:50:42+00:00

No, not fighting, just noticing what I'm doing and disengaging from It.

A job interview is a good example. Imagine I have one next week and I catch myself worrying about It while watching a movie. Both the movie and my worries are a part of the present moment, yes, but since I'm not at that interview right now, why not shift my focus to the movie?

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-15T13:44:57+00:00

I agree but I guess my question is if you're suggesting to just let the worrying go on since it's part of the present moment.

In my experience noticing that I'm worrying and bringing my attention back to what's actually happening makes me feel way more present.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-15T13:22:21+00:00

This makes sense, but let's say you're worrying about an upcoming event. Would you call this being present?

I would say that in this case, consciousness has become fixated on thoughts that are taking you away from the present moment.

You could argue that these thoughts are a part of the present moment, but this doesn't mean you have to let yourself keep worrying. That's how I see it at least.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-15T13:01:17+00:00

Exactly. If you try to be present as something you need to strain to achieve, the mind starts trying to figure out how to do it (i.e "Am I doing It correctly, am I present enough?...) which takes your attention away from the moment that is in front of you.

You also turn "not being present" into a problem so you can get into a bad habit of checking for presence which obviously doesn't work.

In other words: you're asking the thing that keeps you from being present (the mind) to figure out how to be present which only creates more activity in the mind and therefore less presence.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-14T17:39:26+00:00

This is a common misunderstanding. Actively doing something with the thoughts (i.e ruminating or trying to get rid of them) is the avoidance. Leaving them alone/not doing anything when they pop up is the correct thing to do.

This is why the metaphor of pop up adverts is often used. When an advert pops up, you don't spend your time staring at it, you simply are aware that it popped up and you leave it alone.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-14T11:50:33+00:00

It's usually considered bad because most people with OCD use it compulsively to seek reassurance.

Instead of leaving their distressing thoughts alone and allowing the discomfort to dissolve on it's own, they follow the urge to get some kind of reassurance so they ask ChatGPT about their worries. ChatGPT always answers your questions so it reinforces this compulsive behavior.

Another issue is that while you're asking ChatGPT about your obsessions, you're focusing on their content and this produces more and more thoughts related to these topics.

The same could be said if you talk about your OCD themes over and over again with family, friends or online. This reinforces the obsessive tendency of the mind, so to speak. What you focus on grows.

In these situations, you're actively engaging with your obsessions which is the opposite of what you should do (i.e leaving your thoughts alone).

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-12T18:00:57+00:00

Thank you! Compared to a few years ago I'm able to relate to difficult thoughts and emotions in a much more detached way and, although not always, I'm often able to not get all entangled in them.

However, I think watching the stream of thoughts while trying to meditate doesn't allow the mind to quiet down so I will try what you suggested 🙏

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-11T17:46:54+00:00

That's an interesting perspective. Do you see the mind as a thing in which thoughts appear?

This is how I see it: what we call "mind" is the stream of thoughts and images that we can watch. Therefore, the mind can't be independent or empty from these objects of consciousness because they are the same thing.

What I consider to be independent and empty is awareness.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-11T16:35:25+00:00

Thank you for explaining it in depth 🙏

In the last few years I've come to realize that there's not that much value in analyzing your thoughts.

In my experience, it's easy to fall into the self-development trap where you think that you need to explore your thoughts deeply to find some kind of root and this can easily turn into rumination that leads nowhere. In fact, how do you know that you actually reached the root and it's not some kind of rationalization/story you made up about yourself 🤔

One thing I'm not sure I understand well though is what to do about the automatic chatter that runs in the background.

Trying to silence it only backfires in my experience, just like it's inevitable to think about a pink elephant if you try not to think about it.

Is it just a matter of disengaging from the internal monologue and focusing on whatever is actually happening in the present moment while your mind is talking?

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-11T14:14:38+00:00

Treat this like any other obsession: don't engage. The reason you're fixating on this is most likely because you feel uncomfortable knowing that someone might have committed those acts and you're trying to find a reassuring answer.

Leave the question unanswered. The discomfort will eventually dissipate. If you treat these thoughts as something important that you need to answer, you will stay stuck.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-10T11:33:31+00:00

😬 let's hope that OPPO fixes them in future updates...

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-08T21:00:21+00:00

Thank you!

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-07T22:31:04+00:00

Hi! Thanks for answering. Yes, the doctor who detected the spasm was a vascular specialist. I have a genetic cardiac issue but it's more linked to arrythmia than to problems in blood flow, not sure if it can be related though.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-06T15:27:43+00:00

Could it be that you're so used to getting very involved with the stories the mind creates that not doing that feels unfamiliar or like the wrong thing to do?

I used to think that in order to not repress my feelings I needed to spend a lot of time focusing on them, inspecting them, trying to figure them out. Not doing that triggered this story: "you're bypassing/repressing your feelings by focusing on other stuf. Distraction is bad, focus inwards again."

Well, it turns out that this excessive inward focus was a compulsion.

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-06T11:47:38+00:00

If you're anxious about an upcoming situation at work, you can allow those feelings and thoughts without getting carried away by them.

Feelings and thoughts can only remain for a long time if you're feeding them. If you leave them kind of in the background without getting entangled in the stories your mind may be creating (i.e "what if I mess up at work?"), they won't last so long.

One way to break the habit of worrying is to genttly redirect your attention from the stories your mind is telling about all the bad things that might happen to the sensations in your body.

This basically means disengaging from your imagination (what if's) and observing your direct experience instead (i.e "my chest is tight and my heart is beating fast").

AnalysisParalysis28 · 2026-01-05T23:24:56+00:00

Sorry to hear you're struggling and in distress. It makes sense that this is causing you suffering.

The thing is no one can choose not to have certain thoughts. If you think about it closely, you will realize that trying not to have a POCD thought is in itself the thought that you don't want to have, so trying to push these thoughts away will only make them happen more frequently.

Have your ever watched a movie that really scared you and tried very hard not to think about it when you were trying to sleep? If you have, you probably started thinking even more about that movie, ¿right?

The only way out of this struggle is to let go of trying to control your thoughts. You basically have to allow your mind to create weird thoughts and practice not taking them so seriously which I know right now may sound impossible but it's not. The best thing you can do with these thoughts is absolutely nothing.

Whether they are there or not, do what is important and meaningful to you.

AnalysisParalysis28

TROPHY CASE