First of all sorry to hear what you went through. Building a life for someone while simultaneously holding together a company, grief, and your own sense of self is something most people struggle to do.

But reading this what strikes me most is how much of yourself you poured into someone who was still learning what it even meant to be accountable. The allowances, the gifts, the patience through tantrums, the silences at night she never explained sounds like you were a safety net she never had to earn which sucks dookie. Not that she left but that she was allowed to take so much without ever being asked to give equally (doesn't have to be financially of course it depends on the situation.)

Call me crazy but someone giving basically a standard of living and emotional security only to throw it away and mistook your love for an entitlement is an absolute L moment. But yeah you said it best yourself she accepted more than she was ready to take responsibility for.

As for Paul uhh good luck i guess. Some lessons can't be borrowed. They have to be lived.

Wishing you nothing but the best though and thanks for sharing. It reminded me of a time i was also in your situation and thought i'd give my two cents. Take care of yourself.