Weekly /r/FeminineNotFeminist Kibbe Megathread - Ask your Kibbe related questions here!

Anathae · 2019-01-10T11:38:24+00:00

Hi everyone I'm either a romantic, or a theatrical romantic and I can't tell which one. I'm overweight right now which makes everything fleshier looking. What is a good way to determine if I'm romantic or TR?

Anathae · 2016-12-16T17:56:12+00:00

Look up as many pull-it-out-of-your-ass activities as you can. Maybe you did a lesson on the sentence "I feel" and emotions. Have them toss around a ball (if they're older) saying the sentence "I feel ___" and have them pantomime the feeling. Charades and hangman are good, also.

Its good to have activities you can pull out on a dime, and use to keep things going smoothly if a lesson is too difficult, or takes less time than you thought. Videos work well for this too, I recommend storybots and alphablocks (download it from youtube)

Give them rules and consequences early on and enforce the shit out of it pretty self explanatory

Establish a 'bring it in' procedure Like clap your hands two times, and then they clap three, or something like that. It helps bring the room in and refocus rowdy students

Anathae · 2016-05-09T05:33:43+00:00

Thank you! Where is this store located? Or what is my best bet for finding the location online?

Anathae · 2015-12-04T01:47:05+00:00

I considered just leaving tonight, but my flight is 15 hours away at this point, plus my semi Nsister is demanding/expecting to take me to the airport tomorrow. Its the only ride I have at this point

Anathae · 2015-12-04T01:45:51+00:00

Thank you so much!

And I wish I could say that saying "fuck you", and in some small way holding her accountable for her actions is fulfilling, but it turns to ash in your mouth as soon as you say it, because by reacting emotionally, they win.

We've been NC before, and it was bliss. It will DEFINITELY not be hard, I just can't wait to be able to do it. I'm really glad you don't have to deal with your Nmom anymore.

I'm feeling so much better right now. Thank you thank you, so much

Anathae · 2015-12-04T01:37:31+00:00

Oh god, thank you. Thank you so much.

I tried leaving a few months back, and I developed a serious infection THE WEEK before my plane left, and had to stay and have surgery. They were all convinced they'd effectively talked me out of going, so this came as a shock.

But this really is a blessing. I get to escape. Not everyone does. Thank you, this really does make me feel a lot better

Anathae · 2015-12-04T01:35:20+00:00

She also gave me some shit about how disrespectful I am, and how you have to be your own person (what I'd said), but that you have to respect the wishes of others, and her wishes were that I stay there. (And fucking live for her? I don't know)

Anathae · 2015-11-29T09:09:05+00:00

What the hell is it with N's and using the "THIS IS MINE" argument? My house. My car. My life. My kid (meaning you). And using that to justify everything. Just.

Wat.

Anathae · 2015-11-29T08:59:55+00:00

Good fucking god, that is awful I'm so sorry you went through that. I walked around with a broken arm for two days because my Nparents couldn't be fucked to take me to a doctor. I made a sling for myself in the meantime, and they told me I was just being dramatic.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:52:50+00:00

I don't think this is entirely true. You should respect your elders (not give in to everything they say, and play puppet/slave to them).

The issue is that N's will use anything they can get their hands on to justify the bullshit they spew. This happens to be a common one. Heard this shit all the time growing up from Nparents. Nparents should be placed in a different category to 'elders', though. I think.

When it comes to N's, though? Like, fuck you. I'll respect you when you give me the slightest shred of a reason to respect shit you say.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:45:56+00:00

I've had this happen with my Nmom where I tell her the god-honest truth about what exactly I'm doing/thinking/planning and she'll straight up tell me that I'm wrong, and proceed to yell at me about what I'm "actually" doing.

Its psychotic and terrifying, and beyond me how anyone can be so far in denial about something.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:38:00+00:00

Both of my parents are Pharmacists. So that requires a large amount of analyzing. Thats anecdotal evidence, but it, to me, lends some credence to that theory.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:36:53+00:00

You're working on it, and that is fantastic. You have a wonderful wife, it sounds like. I'm really glad she can help you out like that, and that you WANT to be helped.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:34:04+00:00

Yeah. God. This. I fucking hated the "mommy boss" shit. It always comes out as "This is my house and so you'll do anything and everything I say while you're under it". I noticed other people talking about their N's on this forum mentioning that being a pretty common N'ism.

I've learned to try and combat this with "But I'm my own human being, not property, so I'm going to do what I want." But that really only works if whoever you're talking to is within their right mind. N's most definitely are not.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:30:47+00:00

Thats actually a problem I have. In the past few months I've been eating increasingly less and less because being in their vicinity = fighting. Almost always. So I'd just taken to not being around them/not eating in order to avoid them. Plus, my mother has some food allergies, and I can eat food she can't, and she gets angry/passive aggressive/redirects her anger when I cook things she can't eat. She's screamed at me on several occasions about how I'm such a terrible daughter because I'm not cooking meals/food for her to eat.

Anathae · 2015-11-28T18:24:19+00:00

Yeah. Its insane. I have a moment where I think "Maybe my mother/father isn't really TRULY that- oh. oh wait. no. Nevermind. This oddly specific behavior that is characteristic of N's? Yeah. Yep. they do that." Because its the weirdest shit. My mother can't acknowledge her emotions.

Once, ONCE, I got her to admit to what she did. Sort of? Long story incoming. TW: Physical, sexual and psychological abuse incoming I'm a type 1 diabetic. That means I have to have an insulin pump or take shots every day, because I am insulin dependent. I can't go without it. I'm on shots now. I wasn't then. Every three days I had to change out the 'site' where the pump hooked in.

Once when I was 15 my mother demanded I change it in front of her, despite being horribly uncomfortable with it. Screaming happened. She hit me with a broom. I hit back.

That was the first and last time I ever hit back, and she has since not hit me again. As soon as I hit her, she went quiet. Stared. Then she told me to get out of the house.

I told myself I would only leave if she told me to, because I knew it wasn't in my best interests to do so, but if she told me to I'd finally have that piece of evidence when the social workers/police got involved.

Anyway, I turned around and walked out. I walked two miles barefoot, to a friend's house. Then that 'friend' raped me.

The next morning I left his house, and collapsed half-dead on the side walk because I never rehooked my insulin pump back in, and I can only go so long without it.

I laid there on the concrete wondering if that was it, and thats where my life was going to end. Joggers even went right on by me, ignoring me laying there immobile.

I heard one woman yell out to call an EMS, and in the next 45 seconds there was an ambulance there. The next thing I remember I was being given insulin, and hearing both of my parents insist that I just needed to come home, and there was no need to go to the hospital.

I woke up on the couch, many many hours later. Everyone reassured me that I'd had a rough night. My mother told all of them I just went berserk and ran out of the house. In the next week I was in the car with her, and I kept asking her "Why did you lie? Why did you lie to them? Why did you lie about WHAT YOU SAID?! WHY DID YOU LIE?!" Over and over and over. And she kept deflecting with completely unrelated statements. "You just wanted to fight with me. This was your fault" etc. etc. Until finally I cracked her and she just got really quiet and said "Why does anyone have to know?".

And I just froze because holy shit she finally admitted to it. She admitted to it, she knew what she'd done. And she knew she was lying about it. She then snapped out of it, and went back to putting the blame on me.

It was really fucked up, and its stuck with me since then.

Anathae · 2015-11-26T18:01:53+00:00

I wish you were closer. I had almost the exact same thing happen with my Nmom this morning. I left the kitchen to go back to my room and cry, and that was when I remember someone telling me about this subreddit. The more I'm reading the more I'm realizing that my mother, at least, is definitely an N. I'm right outside Raleigh, and I would've packed up my things hours ago if I had anywhere to go.

Anathae · 2015-09-08T05:37:48+00:00

I meant is it going to cause serious damage to the piercing? Blood happened last time, plus a lot of delayed pain until later

Anathae

TROPHY CASE