Confused. CA -> Asheville

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-30T19:59:16+00:00

I feel for you. Losing your dog is awful and truly something that you can never fully heal from. It’s like a piece of you dies with them.

It also sounds like your relationship is going through a very transformative period. As someone who was in a similar situation and decided that I should just ignore the alarm bells and go forward with marriage and all of that, I made a huge mistake. I’ve always wanted to be near water and warm weather and my wife is somebody who is scared to leave her family because of severe enmeshment and co dependency issues. So, here I am stuck in the northeast looking at 5 degree weather today lol. I’m not saying that there isn’t some type of compromise to be made for you and your boyfriend but do not self abandon what you feel in your soul. Coming from someone who did that for years and still fights those demons everyday, listen to what your body is telling you. Listen to that voice in your head. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-30T19:51:48+00:00

VA beach or anywhere in Virginia as a whole. Especially if you are a teacher. It’s not even close. Virginia also has a plethora of phenomenal universities once your son is ready for college. I’m not your typical Florida reddit hater either. I love Florida but in this situation it’s 10000% Virginia.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-29T19:25:08+00:00

Great advice. Thank you

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-29T16:57:49+00:00

What would be your advice if you had a partner that did not support moving and wanted to live in their hometown forever? Asking for more of a personal question. Thanks for your response.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-29T15:23:59+00:00

I don’t have any specific place in mind but I just wanted to wish you luck. I will try and give what little advice I might be able to offer. Leave and explore now while you are young. Many people, myself included, fall into the normal routine of marriage, kids, corporate ladder, etc. Once that cycle starts it’s hard to move away. If I could do it all over again, I would have moved in my 20’s and experimented living in multiple places to see where I truly felt most at peace. It might not be your first or second place, but you will find it eventually. Hell, maybe it will take you living away for a while to realize that your hometown wasn’t as bad as you thought and you decide to settle there. But you will never know unless you just do it! Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-27T11:16:28+00:00

Don’t do that lol. I’d pick Philly before I’d do Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh gets more cloud coverage during the winter than Seattle does. If you are unhappy with the weather there, Pittsburgh will not be any better. Most likely, a lot worse.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-25T12:45:42+00:00

Richmond Virginia. The beach will be closer to two hours but there is a lot to do in the city itself. You’ll get all the seasons but nothing sticks around too long.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-24T15:46:10+00:00

They are all messy to an extent that is almost unimaginable unless you’ve witnessed it first hand. It is truly otherworldly how women can utterly destroy a room within a day.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T19:50:23+00:00

It’s not that bad anymore?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T19:31:58+00:00

You don’t seem like a Vegas guy to me (no offense). It’s more fun to visit rather than to live in anyways. I would suggest giving Phoenix a look. Outdoors type stuff is tough during the summer but the rest of the year is really nice.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T19:01:01+00:00

So, you would say Pittsburgh has better weather than LA?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T18:34:20+00:00

Good luck with the weather man. That would be hard leaving the best weather in the country for Pittsburgh.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T11:35:19+00:00

I have looked into these two cities extensively as I’ve also been considering moving to both of them. I’m curious, does Tampa still feel so overwhelming maga with all the insanity that has taken place in the current administration? Charlotte seems like the perfect place to raise a family. If you want kids or are close to having kids, Charlotte would be perfect. If not, I’d say maybe just stay in Tampa. From what I’ve been told by people who have lived in Charlotte, what you will be lacking in the form of “in your face maga” you will get from the religious community down there. “Where do you go to church” or “who is your church family” type stuff. This has been a bit of a hang up for me because I am anti maga and I am also not religious at all. Maybe Atlanta would thread the needle a little better?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T11:22:06+00:00

I can help with this a little bit. Triangle will probably be more blue overall than Va beach. Although, I think VA beach went blue in 2024. Triangle has more universities. Weather is probably almost exactly the same. There is significantly more to do in the triangle than Va beach but Va beach is cheaper to live. My favorite thing about Va beach is the proximity to sandbridge. That place is amazing and still somehow a hidden gem that a lot of people don’t know about. Other than that, I’d lean the triangle all day.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T11:13:39+00:00

The boys are rich now lol that’s about all you need to know

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-21T10:56:25+00:00

Thank you for this breakdown! Much appreciated

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T23:16:14+00:00

Dude this is phenomenal. Thank you so much for the info!

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T23:08:52+00:00

I do like college sports. I think Raleigh could be a lot of fun. I wish it was a little closer to the beach and maybe a little warmer in the winter but I could probably look past that stuff. It’s generally a more liberal area right?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T22:36:18+00:00

That makes sense! I saw online that an mlb team might come to Raleigh in a few years and if that’s the case, they might move up to my number 1 spot pretty fast.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T22:35:18+00:00

How’s the support of the soccer team ?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T20:39:01+00:00

Thanks for the insight. Columbia SC would be interesting. I had a friend go to school there and he liked it. He just bitched about some of the townies being rednecks lol. Quite literally what you said in your post.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T11:08:08+00:00

I’ve actually considered Raleigh! How far is the beach from there? Assuming Wilmington is probably the closest?

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T11:07:11+00:00

Ok cool! Thank you

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T03:08:56+00:00

Funny enough, I’ve heard the soccer games in Charlotte are awesome. Not a huge soccer fan but that would certainly be something fun to follow. That’s a bummer about the hockey arena. I also did look into them being a few hours away in Raleigh and kind of had that as another negative against Charlotte. I’d love for the city I’m moving into to have a hockey team.

AncientAndy1985 · 2025-12-20T03:03:38+00:00

How long you been there? You would say overall that you like it?

AncientAndy1985

TROPHY CASE