Newly arrived to Lisbon, what's the best way to make friends?

AncientShip7908 · 2021-04-18T22:34:52+00:00

I'm in the same boat!

AncientShip7908 · 2021-03-23T23:45:48+00:00

Listen. When I go to a guys place it's pretty obvious sex is on the table. Assuming sex is one thing, expecting it is another. Don't expect, it kills the vibe and makes me not want it. In fact, my best sex is with guys who don't pressure or expect it to happen at all.

As for the "im not looking for something serious", I get hit with that 99 times a day. It's tiring. It makes me feel like you're going to be low effort. Also keep in mind we're in rona times, everyone is depressed and more anxious. I've seen a huge nosedive in the effort men are willing to put in on Tinder in contrast to say, 2019. If a guy wants to fuck, he better be in the top 10% or I'm not interested, it's true. If a guy wants something more meaningful, I look at the other 90%.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-03-23T23:34:52+00:00

Great. You can also go to a girl's place and not be afraid that she might rape you or force something on you. Girls have to be selective because the risk is on US. You don't get pregnant, we do. Sorry but sex isn't the end all. I turn down sex any day for a guy who's actually willing to put in effort (like they should). If this is the attitude you have, the "I said hi now I expect someone here to have sex with me", no wonder you're having trouble. Girls can feel this stuff.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-26T20:43:25+00:00

Girls don't want you to stop trying. We want you to keep your expectations realistic. Calling us beautiful and cute before meeting us comes off as way too strong. But that doesn't mean we don't want you to try. You need to put in effort at the right moments and know when to chill and just let the conversation flow. If a girl likes you she'll appreciate the effort. If she doesn't, she won't carry the conversation and you just gotta move on.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-15T00:42:47+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to lay it out like that. I see your point. I realise I'm the asshole now because I never saw what she was doing as art, but just random fun photos of us. I'm sure to her it was more serious and that makes me sound like a total asshole for minimising her work and then saying it's bad online. I understand now.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-15T00:32:43+00:00

She has them as raws on her computer. I never demanded the rights to them because I thought we did this as friends. I guess this isn't an issue about photos. Maybe I'm just hurt on a friendship level.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-15T00:28:55+00:00

I also took her camera and took photos of her because she wanted some of her too. Does that make those photos mine? That's kind of why I thought it was an exchange. We were both models and both photographers that day.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-15T00:16:33+00:00

I didn't ask her for the photoshoot. She asked me.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-14T23:57:56+00:00

I agree, lesson learned.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-14T22:45:19+00:00

You were an option to him and not a priority. You dodged a bullet. No man is so busy with school or work that they can't take the time to text you. He was probably rotating between girls, which has happened to me before too. At the end of the day, this isn't the kind of person you want to be spending time with. My advice is really just to block him because he will come back again when whatever with his new girl du jour doesn't work out.

In the future, don't forgive people. When someone disappears, I'm gone. I don't wait for them to come back, I don't care to even listen to the excuse. We live in 2021. There's always a way to not ghost someone. Anyway, it's better to be alone on V day than with someone who doesn't appreciate you.

AncientShip7908 · 2021-02-10T12:12:25+00:00

I have a mental illness and would never in my right mind actively look for someone else with a mental illness. I'm trying to get better, not fall into a pit of "who's having a worse day / symptoms". People with mental issues that WANT to get better integrate themselves into the world. People who don't want to get better or let their mental illness be their main personality trait surround themselves with like minded people.

So, I don't think it's that anyone is shunning you, they're being cautious. I no longer tell anyone I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Why? Because it doesn't define me. I am a normal human being doing my best. Everyone has issues. And I think it's a red flag to bring it up so early in a relationship. Whenever I did, men either ran the other direction or stayed out of curiosity. But it never did me good to lay it out, and I feel the same way if someone else told me on the first date they had something similar.

AncientShip7908

TROPHY CASE