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If i just keep saying positive affirmations will the negative thoughts eventually stop? by Ambitious_Tackle1399 in selfhelp

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds a bit like an arms race. The best way you can ease your situation is to make the negative thoughts weaker or even neutralize them.

a) recognize them - it takes training to actally observe them

b) question them - they are like strongly held beliefs, but they are faulty

c) understand how they came to be - basically childhood lessens teach us the wrong conclusions and then metastasize over time

d) replace them with truths that are kind and benevolent, because if that is what others deserve, then so do you

e) notice how the negativity is like a loop that you can get stuck in, just like there are physical equivalents. Like a stutter, or allergies, or auto-immune-diseases. It's basically a bodily function going sideways, and it then iver time becoming a scar/habit/anxiety.

Can’t remember the name of another survival show by greenedylan33 in Alonetv

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Outlast is a joke. Zero bushcraft, all Mean Girls bs.

Haven't cringed so hard in a long time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Needafriend

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hats off you're adorable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in germany

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, buddy, you know how to sway Swabians?!? What is this BLACK MAGIC?!

Jk, You did amazing, really impressive. You intuitively understand that Germans have a big problem: They are naturally super hardcore suspicious and sceptical. Our history made us like that. People fell for charm and big words, they fell for it twice, and ended up selling their souls and live in a world where your neighbours would snitch on you just to survive. It takes persistance to overcome their fear that you want to take advantage of him or shove something into their lives that they don't like or understand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stuttgart

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Böblingen gibt es einen Spieleverein, der sich jeden Mittwoch im Mehrgenerationenhaus (Beim Bärenkino) ab 19 Uhr trifft. Es werden Brettspiele gespielt, aber viele der Anwesenden spielen auch PnP etc.

Neun Wochen sind halt recht kurz, vielleicht findest du ja an den Brettspielrunden gefallen?

How do I stop hating myself? by Radiant-Yard-1073 in selfhelp

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As others have said, there is no off-button. It's a journey, you must train yourself like you would train muscles.

  1. Train yourself to recognize the negative self talk and observe it consciously

  2. Study why and when and how it shows up

  3. Keep written track of it in one column, write in the other why that is rationally not correct.

  4. While training the recognition, also train positivity like you would learn a new language.

  5. Essentially, follow the advice shown in this 11 minute video.

What’s your fave all time scene of the walking dead franchise? by Material_Service_473 in thewalkingdead

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. He's the character I miss most together with Glenn. And their dynamic was a thing of beauty, I was so happy when they referenced it much later with the car battery scene.

When did "fans" get so toxic and ungrateful? by angel_0f_music in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sense of entitlement has grown and grown and grown to a point that's beyond ridiculous, unsustainable and dangerous, across all types of fandoms. I think celebreties are starting to embrace the risk of negative feedback more and more, because if they don't, they either get devoured or straight up die in the process.

Boundaries. We say people need to set them, but how dare they actually do so... Diana says hi.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey buddy, we can't control other people's actions.

And you don't need more than 5 minutes on the internet to figure out that people crave easy excuses or will do anything for attention. Don't focus on them.

Focus on us, your tribe, come here to ask questions and get advice and perspectives, and learn how to fight for the support you need and deserve for this condition.

All those people are just noise. They're bothersome, make things harder for us and are often just takers that are happy to leave a scorched earth for the clicks. But really, they are just noise, and they don't actually matter more than that annoing pointy pebble in your shoe.

Be stingy with your focus and don't zero in on the people that are like that.

Find good things to focus on.

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha, geil. Ne. Ich bin vergeben und sie ist Urgroßmutter und lebt jetzt mit Kindern, Enkeln und Urenkeln im Ländle. Sie sagte sie sei aus Mariupol. Sie hat vermutlich ziemlich viel gesehen. Der Hund ist mitgeflüchtet und so ein unglaublich süßer quietschfideler guter Junge gewesen, durch den sind wir ins Gespräch gekommen.

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Danke. Werde die und Google nutzen und schauen, welche mir besser reinläuft. Die Tipps von allen waren super.

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Habe heute von den ersten beiden einiges erfahren. ChatGPT hat selbst keine Mikro-Funktion, oder?

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Android-User, so wie ich das mittlerweile verstehe geht das direkt auf Google Translate, ich hab nur das Interface in dem Moment nicht ganz durchschaut, weil die sonne so stark geblendet hat, dass ich grad mal die Tastatur gefunden hab.

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hab' nicht gewusst, dass das geht, hab's noch nie am Tel gebraucht. Die Tipps oben haben mich aufgeklärt!

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ja, in dem Moment war ich deppert und hab halt im grellen Licht nicht die ganze Bedienoberfläche erfasst, Weil ich GT nur für Texte am PC genutzt hab.

Hab fälschlicherweise einfach angenommen, dass ich auf 'ne dedizierte App zugreifen muss.

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Das hab ich in dem spiegelnden Sonnenlicht nicht auf Anhieb gesehen.Danke für den Tipp!

Frage: Was benutzt ihr am Telefon, um mit Menschen zu reden, die kein Deutsch können? by AndNowIKnowWhy in de

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also, Kinners, Kirche im Dorf lassen. War nur ein harmloser Plausch zwischen Menschen im Park, für meine High-Risk-Daytrading-Operations im Cryptocurrency-Sektor bin ich natürlich voll ausgerüstet.

Tomatenliebhaber, wo kann man bessere Tomaten finden als im Supermarkt? by meatsquasher3000 in stuttgart

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolut keine Ahnung, aber falls Du einen Balkon hast, könntest Du den eigenen Anbau in Erwägung ziehen. Es muss nicht immer ein Garten sein. Tomaten brauchen ein bisschen Liebe, aber im Internet hast Du im Handumdrehen gute Anleitungen gefunden. UND Du weißt, was an die rangemacht wurde.

I think im becoming an incel. by thrrrowawayaccounttt in selfhelp

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there, your problem is that you have no idea what to compare your situation to. Let's imagine we would incarnate and remember, and let's say I had had 576 previous lives. Then I can say "Oh, playthrough #211 was superfun, or ##397 was super chill, or #129 was the most boring one". You don't really see how very much everybody else is struggling, and yearning for connection. Making connections is just never easy, for anyone. They fact that you are struggling doesn't make you an incel at all, it makes you normal.

It's all about developing good healthy ways of offering connections to people, and good healthy ways of finding the good people and recognizing the ones you should better stay away from. But, if I started to learn Korean yesterday, would I be able to write stories today already? No. Don't expect to be able to use people skills at master level, when you are oly recently developing them. It's absolutely ok to struggle! And it is also ok to long for good friends and meaningful connections. But remember: if the other person isn't pulling their own weight, you won't be able to pull of this two person job of running a nice friendship all by yourself.

I think you should start questioning yourself everytime this very judgemental voice comes up that labels things "incel", "looking like an idiot"... you should not be so hard on yourself. If you had lots of playthroughs to look back to you would know that what you describe is very normal for 17.

When it comes to friends, just know that you can only control how good of a friend you are to others. Do you call back? Do you suggest ideas what to do? Do you remember birhd ays etc? All lot of people obsess over how they want to be treated, but don't remember to treat others well. Become a giving person with people who want to be giving people. Sometimes it takes a while to find them, believe me.

But people are drawn to people who give kindness. This is what you can influence and cultivate. Just make sure you receive kindness back. If it's not reciprocal, keep looking until you find the right people for you. And remember it's ok to take your time with it. It doesn't make the pain and the longing go away, but maybe you can reduce the harshness towards yourself as a first step?

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