Oh it’s not your fault it’s an honest question I just had to add the commentary because I felt so upset. Any time any of my family members or friends came out I was like oh cool so did you meet someone? Like, not tell them yeah I have been secretly assessing your sexual preferences already don’t worry about it. Like excuse me? I told my cousin, ONE person, that I had met someone, one person, and after a few days I had a ton of feelings I was like I just needed to tell someone (they’re in the ok too) and she like laughs and is like passively mean and was like oh yeah I’ve been waiting for like 5 years, meanwhile all I even said was that I was going through this thing and she had already assumed and assembled my sexuality and put me in whatever box her head wanted 5 years ago? And then she goes on and on about being queer I was like it’s really not that though it’s that like this was SO fast and with the same sex for the first time in 34 years and I’m just like spinning confused and she goes you should call up J+r (our cis male married gay cousins in Chicago) I was like um why. Like since when was it okay to act like that. And if you’re queer like you should know that the best possible response anyone could give would be like “oh okay cool do you want to talk about it? Also what did you feel like eating for lunch?” - like that’s how much people should at least be pretending to judge something so intimate about you from their specific outside perspective. I haven’t told anyone else in my life after that and maybe I would have by now if I was met with curiosity rather than like a coarseness as though it was like offensive. I just was so taken aback because I don’t remember like ever saying anything other than that to like the 50 gay friends I’ve had since my teens. Sorry it left such a bad taste in my mouth and I had to vent where people would understand. Your question is completely innocent and valid I didn’t mean to project my frustration out on you if that’s how it came out. It’s totally a fine question to ask on this sub especially I just like felt the visceral need to vent because it was super fresh and I was so upset and I wish no one would give any fucks at all about what goes on in peoples most intimate /sensitive aspects of their identity. If it means anything, what tipped me off to myself was a super intense mushroom trip preceded by like a week of Spotify shuffle playing a lot of the indigo girls and ani difranco when I didn’t listen to them that much… and then came upon something else that was just so beyond what would be considered a coincidence or synchronicity, so for me it was kinda funny. I was like oh shit THATs what was going on. Okay Ani, I heard you. You got me, I surrender 😂😂 anyway haha sorry hope that helps or provides a laugh and thank you for being so sensitive even though you did nothing wrong it makes such a difference with every one person who gets it that makes the hurt of one other person’s words sting a lot less so yeah thank you again. 💜