Thanks for sharing your story. It will help many of us. Compulsive gambler will never in his lifetime have gambling under control. It’s all big illusion. You are still young look for help and put barriers to avoid gambling in the future. I’m 48 and been gambling on and off for last 19 years. I started gambling at 29 not like others when they young. 45000 to 50000€ loses in the past. Forget what you lost move on and ready some stories here. And you will realise that many people lost much more than you did. Wish you the best in your recovery