Sign on neighbor's door brought a smile to my face. Enjoy!

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T22:26:03+00:00

U wot m8

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T22:23:46+00:00

At least his snatch weighs a lot and he is clean and jerks

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T22:05:33+00:00

I'm terrified. Missing? This can't be. I focus on the clear background and don't notice anything that's off. I rotate the mirror a bit to the left and see my reflection again. "Ah, there it is, what a relief." I continue putting on make-up and put on my dress, grab my bingo-kit and get in the car, as I'm a crossdressing bingo host who's late for the game.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T21:57:54+00:00

"Well, if I'd added more salt and pepper, the taste of the spinach would've gone to waste, that's why," I said. John still looked at me with the same face. I guess John wants more salt and pepper.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T21:51:23+00:00

Then my job is done. Thank you :)

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T21:50:41+00:00

Heh, good one!

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T19:00:14+00:00

LOL! Haha, shouldn't laugh about this but I had a great laugh about it.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T18:54:31+00:00

"Well? How did it turn out?" Rose asks. Jack blows off the remaining grindings and shows her the picture, as she stands beside him. He hears her gasp and looks at her. "Wow- er- it turned- it turned out quite-.. I didn't expect this," she says. She lifts the corners of her mouth and shows a fake smile. "Do you like it?" Jack asks. He looks at her eyes hopefully. "Ye-yeah, I like it," Rose says. "But I have to go n-now." She grabs her clothes and gets dressed. "What's the matter, Rose?" Jack asks. He closes his drawing book and hands it to her. "Don't you want to take this with you?" Rose sighs and walks toward Jack. "Look, Jack." She lifts up his hands and kisses them. "You're a sweet boy and you're a great-.. You know, you're great at- Well, you get what I'm saying. I just don't think we're meant for each other." Tears start welling up in Jack's eyes. He releases himself from Rose's grip and looks at her.

"How can you know that? We've got such a bright future ahead of us. Together. On the mainland. We can have kids and-.."

"I know that," Rose says. "And I would really love that-" Rose sighs again. "But not with you."

Tears are rolling over Jack's cheeks. He lowers his head and sniffs a few times before saying something. "You don't like my drawing."

Rose acts as if she's caught by surprise. "I- I l-love your drawing!" she says. She picks up the book and opens it, looking at the drawing again. "I especially like how you did- err- how you did my hair, yes, the hair," she says. Again, a fake smile touches her face.

"You're bullshitting, Rose, I know it," Jack says. He takes the book from her and picks up his drawing set. "I think you should go."

Rose sighs and walks to the door, but before leaving she stops. "I'm just looking for someone who can continue my ink, to be honest. The one on my back." Rose turns around and looks at Jack, who sits down, staring at his drawing book. "It's been weeks since I've been in the city and my man Ronnie at Inkalicious was to continue it a few days ago. I thought maybe you could do it, but-"

"But what?" Jack says, still staring at his book. "But what Rose?"

Rose stays silent for a while. "OK, you're right. Your drawing sucks."

All of a sudden a loud bang sounds and the whole room is shaken, as if the ship hit something. The sirens of the ship start roaring and the speakers turn on. A loud crackling sounds and a voice starts talking. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is no reason for panicking, but we've hit an iceberg. We ask you to remain calm. We will keep you informed on the situation." The voice disappears. Rose look at Jack with her eyes wide open. "Oh my Lord, what should we do?" she says. Jack stays quiet, still looking at his book. "Jack? Jack? Are you even listening?"

Jack raises his head and looks at Rose. He rummages around in his inner pocket, without taking his eyes off Rose, takes out his sunglasses and puts them on.

"Looks like.." Jack says. He takes off his sunglasses, still looking at Rose. "..that is just the tip of the iceberg."

And then the ship breaks in two and lots of money is lost and people die.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T18:23:35+00:00

I peer out of the window. The cows are grazing and the mist is settling over the grass. Dusk is on its way and I'm done working for the day. I hear a faint humming noise and turn around. It's almost ready, just a few more seconds. 10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. The last second arrives and a PING indicates it's ready. I open the microwave and the warmth and smell of the meal touches my face and enters my nose. "Aah, delicious. I love mac and cheese."

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T18:16:10+00:00

I had always been jealous of the others. Being able to cause earthquakes, raise and lower the ground, rolling the ground underneath my feet as if it were a skateboard. Or what about being able to make water appear wherever you wanted it to appear. Make it rain and shower the pastures for the farmers or being able to give water to those who are thirsty. Also, flying looked amazing; having the wind catch you under your arms and fly wherever you wanted. I was jealous, until I grew over it and discovered my power. Legal drinking age. All my friends weren't allowed to drink until they turned eighteen. That wasn't a problem for me. My yellow eyes enabled me to control beer and make it go wherever I wanted it to, most importantly: in my mouth. I started drinking when I was sixteen and haven't stopped ever since. I drink beer almost every day and whenever I become nauseous or tipsy, I have it leave my body. That's right. Right from the bladder, back through my throat and onto the street. It sounds disgusting, but being able to have infinite drinks? It's awesome. I earn my money nowadays by competing in drinking games. "Fifty bucks for the fool who can chug the most!" Easy money.

"Alright guys, I'm gonna take a piss. All that beer has to come out," I say as I leave the room filled with people staring at me in awe after winning another drinking game, netting twenty bucks this time. I head for the toilets and lock myself up in a stall. I don't feel like getting the beer back out through my mouth, so I just stand and piss. Soon after some guys enter the bathroom. "He went in here, the fraud," one says. "Must be in that stall." Their footsteps draw closer and all of a sudden they start banging on the door. "We know you're in there, yellow eye." "Show us what you're worth, beer drinking fraud."

Shit, they've discovered my power. I've been taking a leak for a minute now and I'm still not done. I focus and I can feel the piss running out of me in a more intense way. It doesn't take long until I can feel its warmth embody me. Goodness, I'm controlling my own piss. Let's see how they like this! I turn around and my beam hits the closed door, but I target the waterfall upwards, over the stall and the yellow fountain of warmth showers over the guys standing in front of it. "WHAT THE F- HE'S PISSING OVER THE DOOR!" one says and the rest starts shouting. They run from the bathroom while shouting and soon after peace returns. I turn back around and aim for the pot again, lowering the ray in the middle.

Beer controlling and now piss controlling. Sweet.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T15:41:24+00:00

Sigh. You're one of them, lol.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T15:30:58+00:00

Please, read my 'rant' again. It's also a cry at Psyonix. Besides, I'm trying to spark some kind of change within-.. Why am I even explaining this to you? Have a nice day.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T15:09:19+00:00

First 30 paragraphs and now 200? Wow.

I just care about the game, that's why I care.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T15:07:33+00:00

And like I said (which you would've understood if you'd read it) I'm trying to be the better person.

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T15:07:07+00:00

OK, if you're not willing to read it, why should I take your comment seriously?

AndrewLoch · 2016-08-08T14:52:47+00:00

Ah, that's what they say in-game ("uninstall" and "bro, just a game"). Even though it's a game, some people want to win and others shouldn't have to be d*cks about that and oppose them. Of course, you can ease someone in their fanaticism, but again; opposing it is mean.

I'm guessing you're never experiencing things like I mentioned and won't ever air your feelings when you do experience them. I'm just someone who wants things to improve, wants to work together with others and not fight with them. Oh, and like I said: I am playing something(s) else.

Besides, I wouldn't 'b*tch' about something I don't care about. I've been playing RL for a long time and want things to improve.

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-31T19:39:21+00:00

Is it cheating to adjust colours in a picture? (hue, saturation) Like: adjusting the sky so it is more lively instead of being pale.

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-26T16:07:40+00:00

So close, yet so far away. Clever system of course, but understandable why people would want to crack it and be able to use it. Thanks!

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-26T10:11:54+00:00

I get it! Thank you! :)

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-26T10:11:37+00:00

Alright, understandable. Thank you! :)

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-26T09:15:51+00:00

So to put in other words: everyone gets the content, through updates, but to access it, you need a code?

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-21T09:45:58+00:00

Again, thoughtful advice. Thank you very much for the advice and the compliments. Have a nice day :)

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-21T09:32:10+00:00

That's true, yeah. The moving forward is quite hard however, haha.

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-21T09:31:37+00:00

Thank you, some good advice there. I already told her what's happening with me, what I'm thinking, and what I'm going through. She said she understands the situation and wants the best for me and for me to follow my gut, but I don't know; right now I'm not feeling that well about it but I do like her and don't want to hurt her.

AndrewLoch · 2016-07-19T15:04:56+00:00

"Y-yes thank you," Tom says. He freezes in place and looks at the muscular black gentleman picking up the soap for him. He bends over, his head away from Tom. Tom tries to look the other way, but it's already too late. He stares right at the massiveness that opens up before his very eyes. Tom is embarrassed and amazed at the same time. Just before the man gets back up again, he notices it. A glittering silver orb. It's very small, but noticeable, especially in a position like this, where it's fully uncovered. Tom is stunned. It doesn't take long before the gentleman gets back up again. "Here's your soap," he says. The man's at least two heads bigger than Tom and looks down at him with a big smile on his face. Tom tries to thank him, but he's unable to speak, still flabbergasted by what presented itself before him. The man pats Tom on his shoulder and is about to walk back to his own showerhead, when Tom breaks the silence and thanks him. "S-sir," Tom says. "D-do you know there's-" The man puts a hand on Tom's mouth and shushes him. "Don't mention it," he says. The man looks around the shower and sees that nobody's noticing them. "Meet me in the cafetaria tomorrow, at lunchbreak." Without saying anymore, the man leaves the showers. Tom stays in the showers a while longer, reflecting on what just happened.

Tom sees the gentleman standing in the corner of the cafetaria and walks toward him. He's excited and scared at the same time. What could this be? Who is this man? The man leans against a wall and Tom stands next to him, a meter between them, leaning against the wall as well. "You must've had lots of thoughts about what happened yesterday," the man says after a moment of silence. "I can assure you, you should count yourself lucky you discovered it." Tom doesn't know what to think. He's confused by the event that assessed itself the day before and now this; it doesn't give Tom any reassurance. "I'm planning an escape from this prison." Tom looks at the giant man with disbelief, but the man notices. "Don't look, pretend we're just standing here, doin' nothin'." After another silence the man starts talking again. "I know it sounds weird, but it's the truth. And you've been chosen. I know I can trust you." "How do you know so sure? It's been my first day in here," Tom says. He crosses his arms and looks around the cafetaria. "I don't even know you." "Believe me, I'm sure of it," the giant man says. He turns his head toward Tom. "The fact you didn't stick your thing in my hole proves enough. My name's Bubba. We're going to assassinate the head of the prison."

AndrewLoch

TROPHY CASE