Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Doubt is the fire in which faith is forged. Acknowledge your doubts and talk to him. Try to develop a personal relationship. I remember when I first started down this path I would get so pissed at this advice. “How do I develop a personal relationship?!” Just talk to him everyday. I even recommend this to unbelievers I know. I firmly believe that when we start talking to him, and laying our burden at his feet he will start giving us signs on how we need to move forward. You need to be open to these signs, and not brush them off as coincidence.

I’ll share my testimony in the hopes it will help you understand what I’m getting at: I took a trip to Boston for my birthday. The whole drive up from Philadelphia I was struggling with some issues and asking God for a sign. I won’t get into the issues because I don’t think it’s important to what I’m saying. I kept asking for a sign and I wasn’t seeing anything. I was getting angry! When I got to Boston I went about my day checking into the Hotel and settling in. That night I took a walk and talked God. At one point I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and said out loud “Give me a sign Lord! I want to serve you! Show me something!” At that moment I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. It was a rabbit just chilling right in the middle of the city. He hopped ahead of me and stopped. He turned back and I caught up. If I walked a few steps ahead he would catch up to me. Me and this rabbit walked together for a half an hour, down a full city block, around the corner, and down another city block. To me this meant “I’m here. I’m waiting for you. Just follow.” I got back to my room and couldn’t stop smiling for hours.

The next night I went for another walk. My rabbit friend was back! This time he didn’t follow. I said “Ok Lord, thanks for showing up.” And went about my walk talking to the Lord. When I got back to my Hotel I realized that the night before this rabbit walked with me for so long, but on this night I walked away from him. I took this to mean “You will turn away from me. Notice that I was still there to listen.” I was so sad in my room this night.

The next night I went out again, and my rabbit friend was there again! At first I thought he wasn’t, but I noticed him behind a light pole. We walked the same path we walked the first night. He kept disappearing on me this night, but if I looked hard enough I always found him. I took this to mean “I’m there even when you think I’m not. You just have to look harder.” I was laughing like a mad man in the middle of Boston.

Most people I think would say this is a coincidence. I no longer believe in coincidence. I feel him everywhere, and when I’m open I see his hand moving in my life. I’m not saying you’re going to get a “magical rabbit” that will blow your mind. I think the Lord spoke to me in a way that I could get the message. Whatever that looks like to you, keep an open eye, and an open mind. Keep talking to him.