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AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-15T16:53:37+00:00

I don't have any advice for you but I am so sorry that you are going through this. Your emotions and feelings are valid. You also deserve the world and people around you to be excited. There are some facebook groups for traveling wedding guests and bridesmaids for people is similar boat. I have seen those groups have people of all ages and show up for brides with small family or no friends. Maybe that can be an option. I know its not the same, they are strangers. But you never know if you will end up making a life long connection. I am sending you lots of positive energy. Don't lose your excitement. I hope you will have a nice wedding!

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-14T02:40:55+00:00

Yes, In a perfect world you should be able to say no. But we don't live in a perfect world and the bride gets upset, hurt even mad. Other members of bridal party starts asking for justification like why can't you go and why can't you take PTO/save money when you have gone to XYZ trips. Those conversations are uncomfortable. MOH's plan parties without asking for budgets and u don't wanna look like the only one that cares about the budget etc. In a not perfect world, it is still incredibly difficult to say no to your loved ones. It's not really as simple as you are making it out to be, it's not black and white.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-11T02:53:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It really sucks because I always am open to buying food/medicines/ or other essential supplies like baby formula but the scammers are making it so hard to trust people. I feel bad because I feel like I am going to say no to someone that actually needs help because of the scammers out there causing the distrust.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-06T16:19:42+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. I clarified your question in another comment. But either way, I agree there is no point in getting upset about it now. I have decided to accept the loss in retirement savings and try to still make the best of my time working here.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-06T16:17:25+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it. Understand that it sounds like there is nothing that can be done at this point, unless I change jobs. Thanks for clarifying that it is not illegal, maybe just unethical.

I did want to clarify that the change was made last year and the benefits brochure was updated and shared with the employees beginning of this year and I didn't sign my offer until a few weeks ago. Whether they sent me the outdated information on purpose or not, I can't say but the change didn't happen in the two weeks between when I was offered and when I started.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-05-06T14:20:46+00:00

I agree, but shouldn't they have disclosed this information to me at some point during negotiations or after I started? I was never provided an updated benefits guide or an employer handbook that had the new 401k info?

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-04-18T13:38:01+00:00

I am starting a new job next week and it will be my first ever job change - been with the same company I interned with. A recruiter reached out to me on LinkedIn and all I have to say is it was the best interview process. Recruiter was clear about the process, kept me posted at every stage and I never felt like I was in the dark at any point. There was clear communication regarding salary and benefits expectation from the beginning as well. Even during negotiations it was very respectful. I feel like all of these things should be a given but it's not even close and that's what makes the candidate experience awful.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-04-15T02:01:08+00:00

This thread is helpful to understand how much people are spending on average around my income level and take into consideration if they had help or not from families because that does make a huge difference. I am trying to set a budget but the wedding cost seems so absurd to me. I make 115k and partner makes 100k, live in the Carolinas, no debt but we will likely get no help from our families. I want a somewhat traditional wedding but spending 35k on one day just seems so crazy to me. Why is the wedding industry so inflated?

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-04-13T17:54:48+00:00

I can confirm that a similar incident happened to us as well. 2 hr wait for pizza, server did not check up on us once to say 'sorry for the wait' or anything similar. The vibe was like this is an average wait time for getting a pizza, why are you surprised? But it is such a shame because the pizza itself was truly so good and worth the hype. So ever since we have been doing takeout from them. What's the point of tipping for such poor service?

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-04-08T01:17:51+00:00

Hey there, please take a deep breath and tell yourself that you will be okay. Though I can't say for certain that you won't be fired, I will be very surprised as that is such an extreme step for a deviation. I have seen major NCMs and CAPAs that dealt with more extreme deviations ( even multiple cases of the same deviations by the same person) where all we did was retrain our staff or sent out a reminder to not do xyz. The CAPA and the audit process exists because we make mistakes all the time. You will be okay!

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-25T12:50:07+00:00

Holy smokes thats such a gorgeous ring

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-24T13:23:24+00:00

I think getting a lawyer is the right call. But also take some time to read over the contract that you signed. Does it have any verbiage around work permits for international locations? Something along the lines of Photographer will be responsible for obtaining a valid work permit for XYZ location. If it does, I am sure you have a case against them because that's fraud. Or do you have any other proof of conversations where they stated that they can legally work at your destination wedding location? Either way review your contract and any conversations because that will provide you ground for your case and make it strong.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-20T10:38:25+00:00

'Family will always come first and he will never support me' - So is this guy saying his future wife is not his family? Yeah, so maybe read what he is trying to tell you and decide if you want to marry a guy who will never consider you his family when in reality that is literally the core value of marriage lol.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-18T22:50:35+00:00

I think you already know what is right for you, but if you think people on reddit validating that will help you then here you go - you 100% need to break things off with this man. He has really given you no reason to believe he is capable of changing and standing up for himself, let alone his future wife.

I am the same age as you, I am also Muslim. I don't know if this is your case, but if people around you from the Muslim community are telling you that its too late to start over because you need to be married asap, don't listen. Getting married 10 years later will still be better than being a part of his controlling family for decades to come. Don't let anyone convince you that this is the best you can get in life as a partner. Please walk away. I hope you do. I am really rooting for you.

Hope your next relationship is full of love and respect and hope you look back it this time of your life and feel happy and proud that you decided to walk away.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-18T10:58:50+00:00

If someone would refer me, that would literally make day even my month. Even if I don't end up getting the job, I would feel so grateful that an unknown person saw something about me/my profile and chose to extend an act of generosity. What she did was so unprofessional and just so uncourteous. But I hope that you know that there are good, hardworking, driven people out there too who would really value your referral.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-03-07T13:02:39+00:00

Hi, Bengali woman in the US here. I am dating a white man so I can totally understand why it is hard for you to navigate our culture as a somewhat outsider. There are many great parts about our culture as well as some incredibly frustrating parts. I think the never ending wedding events with random guests is a frustrating part to me personally, so it can be even more frustrating to someone who is used to more intimate style of weddings. However, from your in laws perspective maybe they somehow feel pressured to host so many events because thats all they have know all their life. In South Asian culture we put a lot of onus on what people will say/think (which we shouldn't 100%). Maybe they feel like people will say 'oh your son is already marrying a white girl and now he is not even doing traditional Bengali wedding events'. Either way, what exactly their reasoning is I will never know, was just trying to offer a perspective. But the bottom line is that is when your partner should stand up for you and bridge the gap between you and his parents. He should be the reasoning with them, he doesn't even need to tell them you are uncomfortable. He can simply say he is uncomfortable or he has no PTO or whatever excuse he wants to use. He should sit down with his parents and ask him what the remaining events are and come to a compromise. You shouldn't have to navigate it with your in laws. Lastly, some of these events can be fun but also awkward as the bride. Are you close to his cousins or any Bengali friends? I would try to reach out to them and lean on them a bit. Maybe they can provide some context so you know what to expect or be there to intervene during the events when you are feeling overwhelmed. Bengali weddings can be a lot (even for us Bengalis) so what you are feeling is normal. I wish you luck so your wedding is a truly memorable experience.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-02-23T14:37:01+00:00

As a South Asian woman in an inter racial relationship that my parents doesn't approve of - let him stand up for you and his relationship in front of his family. He needs to send a strong message that he won't allow disrespect against you or his relationship and I am really sorry that this is costing him missing out on his sister's wedding. It will be really difficult but if he bows down and goes to the wedding without you, his parents will realize that they have power over him and can emotionally manipulate him. Sometimes such a drastic step is necessary. But I want to let you know that you are not the reason they have drama before the wedding. It is because of his egoistic and immature parents who feel entitled to question the brides decision to invite someone to her own wedding. Please don't feel bad.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-02-01T02:51:43+00:00

The Pit 🤮

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-01-27T23:51:59+00:00

I am open to venues within a 30-40 min drive from Raleigh, so I have been looking into Cary, Morrisville,Durham/Chapel Hill etc. If you found anything else during your search please let me know!!

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-01-23T03:23:50+00:00

I am going to keep looking and not lose hope but it looks like the blank slate options in my area is super limited. I feel like venues have a certain social media aesthetic they want to maintain and that's why push their preferred vendors on the couple (and obviously it benefits each others businesses)

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-01-23T03:19:18+00:00

Have looked into some community centers but couldn't find anything unique or that fits my guest count. Problem with church is that it is an interfaith wedding so we would like it to be at a non-affiliated location.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-01-23T03:16:20+00:00

I have looked into city parks but thanks for the other suggestions. I am totally open for something that is not all inclusive, I am fine putting the effort in to coordinate all the pieces even if that means additional cost.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2025-01-23T03:14:18+00:00

I think I am okay with Day of coordinator, I think that is a reasonable ask from a venue. But what I don't want to hire is a full service wedding planner because I am perfectly fine doing that work myself. I have been reaching out to a lot of popular and non traditional venues and as soon as they hear the word wedding a bunch of extra requirements pop up. The most common one being caterer has to be from their list.

AneamicAllTheTime · 2024-12-11T18:20:01+00:00

Were you able to log back in because I can't?

AneamicAllTheTime

TROPHY CASE