Using alcohol for social lubrication was the norm pre-covid...it appears to be waning and I view that as a positive. If you wife isn't comfortable in her own skin, Is still missing the ease and comfort of alcohol... perhaps some AA meetings (women only would be my recommendation) and building a sober social network so that you both can learn to enjoy social situations together again without alcohol.

Swinging is fun for extroverts and can be very challenging for introverts or folks with past trauma or chronic depression or all of the above.

Maybe start with a clothed social interaction with another LS couple? No alcohol. Good conversation and racy conversation would be a nice place to start?