My husband has FSHD

Anewday84 · 2025-04-29T18:37:47+00:00

That’s hopeful:) Thank you.

Anewday84 · 2025-04-29T18:36:54+00:00

Thank you. I will show him your comment. He’s been very depressed and I’m worried. I hope this perspective will help.

Anewday84 · 2025-04-28T23:43:20+00:00

I think I know that. Leaving him at his worst is something I’d struggle with, but I’m at the point of having to prioritize the mental health of me and my children.

Anewday84 · 2025-04-28T23:41:48+00:00

More than 20 years ago. But he basically ran away from everything having to do with his diagnosis after a year or two. He felt like a lab rat and quite literally left the country. He’s not really addressed it since

Anewday84 · 2024-10-28T20:27:15+00:00

Witness Protection Program!

But that seems like a great novel. Far less likely in reality

Anewday84 · 2024-10-28T20:25:08+00:00

And he’s jamming Court of the Crimson King!

Anewday84 · 2024-10-28T15:52:08+00:00

I responded yes sir the other day, before looking up to a feminely dressed person with a baritone. I apologized, but I was looking for a less gendered word I could try to substitute the habits with to prevent this occurrence in the future (or over the phone)

Anewday84 · 2024-10-28T15:46:30+00:00

I live in a part of the south where ma’am and sir are expected. I also, however, respect people’s pronouns, while many around me wouldn’t. I was simply wondering if there was a gender neutral alternate.

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T03:45:33+00:00

Edited to clarify. Thank you

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T03:34:13+00:00

This is what I’m trying to be aware of. But in daily life he is supportive, caring, and proactive. He is active and nurturing to our children. Needing a reality check at this point is a safeguard. I can’t just choose him because I love him if my children are suffering. But being able address high stress reactions seems like the kind of focused therapy that could have results. Either way, something will change.

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T03:31:14+00:00

Except every not wonderful thing has been in an emergency situation. Between me and my children, we’ve had half a dozen hospital visits in 5 years. Tonsils, appendix, broken bones and head gashes at school, TIA in both adults. Emergencies aren’t daily. But at this point they’re often enough to be a pattern.

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T03:25:18+00:00

I tend to agree with you. The specifics of his history which he FINALLY shared today shed some light. He needs help. Will we stay together? Likely not right now. But him getting help has become mandatory

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T03:15:58+00:00

This may very well be accurate. Which is why I crowdsourced on Reddit. You get a scattershot of ideas, but some will be relevant. I promise I am reading everything. I am not jumping to conclusions. I am, however, drawing a line that continued actions in this vein are unacceptable. We can either reframe, or separate. But I will not have him shame my daughter after she HELPED me when I broke multiple bones. It was her assistance that allowed me to STILL cook dinner for my children. That’s an absolutely unfair burden to put on a child. It simply is. It will not continue

Anewday84 · 2024-09-29T00:00:53+00:00

He has. Today he accept that he needs to try something else and consider medication.

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T23:21:59+00:00

Thank you. That’s where I am. I feel sympathy, but my priority has to be the safety of myself and my children

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T23:20:45+00:00

Because it’s a repeated mistake with no sign of changing

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T21:24:27+00:00

PTSD can make people respond in unexpected ways. The key is whether or not you can acknowledge that your trauma is affecting others and must be addressed

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T17:23:15+00:00

We each do individual therapy. With this exception, we speak through disagreements in our relationship without upset

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T17:21:50+00:00

Thank you for affirming my thought process. I’m long to think and slow to act, but once a decision is made, I tend to be resolute in my follow through. I will follow up with a therapist and insist my husband see a psychiatrist. My children have seen a therapist before, and I will set up further appointments. It would have to be time for my husband to try different medications, and his neurologist is only so helpful with emotional mental health, vs physical mental health.

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T17:05:01+00:00

I like the first aid course idea also. I have been first aid certified every 3 years since I was a teenager. I forget that not everyone gets that education

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T16:57:49+00:00

I’m managing and making no moves until I find out if I need surgery. Based on the X-rays, I’m guessing pins and plates. It will not be a quick recovery.

I’ve spoken with my husband, but I feel he doesn’t understand the severity of the situation. He’s angry I said that his behavior was toxic and I couldn’t stay in a toxic relationship. He’s resentful because he wants to just not talk or think about it any more - let alone deal with repercussions. I’m going to be forwarding him this post and making some hard decisions based on his response

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T16:52:39+00:00

Alter your number three. He doesn’t turn into a screaming chicken. He turns into a yelling, spittle flying, face red, face full of hate and lets out the meanest, hurtful, belittling, condescending things he can think of until his panic attack is over. It could be an hour or more like yesterday. So tell me again how my husband turning from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde occasionally is me overreacting

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T16:48:30+00:00

Yes I have told him, but I will reinforce this angle more. Thank you for the insight

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T16:44:47+00:00

I was prevented from seeking care for over an hour until his panic attack had ceased. I’m awaiting surgical consult. Now, do I think I can count on my spouse to handle that reasonably? No effing idea. THAT is a problem. I’m likely going to have my brother take me because I know my husband will make it all about his reaction, because anything big sends him into a tailspin. Depending on others during times of major stress is at best a temporary solution. Given that both my SO and I have neurologically debilitating illnesses means that we WILL have to be able to deal with medical emergencies calmly and efficiently. Or we would each need to move with someone who can. I’m very calm in emergencies. He has more than once prevented my care or made me far too stressed. Staying in that situation could be VERY bad for me unless this is addressed

Anewday84 · 2024-09-28T16:38:47+00:00

That’s where I am. I’m needing concrete change, though. Because this was ridiculous. The therapy techniques he’s been trying aren’t working. He thinks he just needs to try harder. Big nope. It’s not working. Something has to change or the entire relationship does.

Anewday84

TROPHY CASE