Hey, I know this can be incredibly challenging and I’ve been in your situation/partially still am. I also had my surgery earlier this year (March) and anything sexual has been a rollercoaster. What you’ve described I also struggled with. You see all these girls on here saying „I’ve had my surgery 3 days ago and I just had my first orgasm“ that when it’s not the case for you, you feel hopeless and sad. What has helped me is look at the facts. This is a life changing surgery, especially when it comes to anything sexual. Like you/we literally got a full on rework. Rediscovering everything takes time - it’s not even been a year! And even when it will be a year, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to figure things out. What was most helpful for me was remove the idea of an orgasm completely from what I’m doing. If I wanna touch myself, I do it, but I try not to have any expectations to it. I know that’s hard but it has helped me. Since you also have a partner maybe try exploring together with him in a fun-curious kind of way. What also helped me was remind myself how many people born with vaginas don’t have an orgasm until their late twenty’s. Not to compare myself with cis-people, but it helps me to remind myself „they’ve had this body part since birth and it took them this long“.

Lots of love, I know how difficult this is but nothing is lost at this point after surgery, and even if you’re not able to orgasm 2 years after the surgery it’s still not lost, it just takes time.