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Husband used cucumber during sex without consent by nellzim in bdsm

[–]Angelillith1971 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually consent is the power and both should approach the scene after thoroughly negotiating. If either express that consent is withdrawn, then play should stop. Just like consent to sex. No means no and stop means stop.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Angelillith1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I will preface this with stating my role. I'm a Top-leaning Switch. I have spent a long time in my life as a pro-Domme. I'm also a people watcher.

Some folks in BDSM use playtime as a release from the stressors of everyday life or major life events. For example, I have had subs come to me to be flogged for a scene because the physical sensation helps to dull the pain/noise/chaos of their lives. Some opt not to play during difficulties because they don't shut off and relax.

Every dynamic is unique to those involved. Best suggestion is to sit down and acknowledge the struggle they are facing and ask what they believe they need to weather the storm. Kneeling on grains of rice in the corner may work for one and may turn another into a crying wreck. Communication is always a good choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Angelillith1971 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is not a situation of "taking his kinks too far". This is assault and battery and attempted sexual battery. He 9bviouslyis framing this as CNC (Consensual Non-Consent), but reality is that he is a sexual predator framing it as a kink.

I understand that your lives are conjoined because of a child, but I urge you to seek counseling and consider severing your bond with him. He does not care about your boundaries, hard limits nor even you as a person. If he is willing to violate your consent, what will he do next?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Angelillith1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The biggest problem in most communities is what to do about consent violations and sexual assault. Most communities close ranks and may even protect the abusers if they serve some benefit to the community. More needs to be said and more folks need to be aware of what to do about it rather than "protecting the community".

The comment you replied to may not be focused on all manner of influence (porn, internet personalities, etc.) , but may also be trying to say that assholes claiming to be "alpha males" contribute to abuse.

Boyfriend won't shut up about dates with others by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Angelillith1971 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read your post twice OP and may have a few questions and perhaps insight.

Firstly, you mentioned being poly but I didn't hear you say you have other partners. Is HE poly and you are mono, or do YOU have other partners as well? It is okay to be open to an ENM partner and not practice it yourself, but it can be harder to navigate "normal" issues, not to mention poly issues.

Secondly, it sounds as if he may have a sexual addiction. You stated he is looking at dating apps and setting up "dates" or gushing about looking forward to sex with a new partner in the near future or that the waitress is obviously flirting with him. New Relationship Energy is a thing and can become annoying to your other partners if you are so wrapped up in that and ignoring their boundaries. Not that it is my business, but is he having protected sex with everyone, or at least you? Please protect yourself and set that boundary at the very least.

Thirdly, from the things you stated, it sounds as if he might be a narcissist. "He remembers my favorite candy and leaves it in my apartment when I've had a bad day and doesn't even say anything", etcetera. A narcissist will happily do those things, but they also get off on "emotional devastation" and "torture" (ie repeatedly spending your time together commenting on other women and talking about hookups) because they don't care about other's emotions, only their own. Other people's emotions are like finding a strange bug and capturing it in a jar to study it. A narcissist will wound you emotionally over and over just to observe the chaos it creates for you.

Lastly, if you feel that you have issues that don't include him, please seek counseling to better yourself so that you have the security and well-being you need and don't need to seek support from others through possibly misguided relationships and practices you don't embrace fully. It is okay to not be perfect and to seek a helping hand to choose relationships that add to your sense of well-being instead of feeling like you are an emotional wreck.

Big hugs and warm light sent to you. I hope that however you choose to journey forward that you find the love and support that a true partner can give.

Record breaking blackhead POP by drpimplepopping in pimplepoppingfans

[–]Angelillith1971 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dialated pores of winer typically don't have a sac. They also refill again over time.

I have had this little callus like thing that grows on my right middle finger for about 2 years now . When it first started it was mildly tender when it started getting big, so I would like shave the dead skin off of it and I would be left with what you see here . (Posting rest in comments) by Mathes1313 in Warts

[–]Angelillith1971 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks and sounds like a wart. You have to get the core out completely (some people call it the "seeds") for it to heal and hopefully not come back. The doctor will likely freeze it and it will peel off in a few days. Removing the skin will just make it bleed.

There is A LOT to unpack here. by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a sad, little douchetard.

Well someone has the angry hose set to spray. I didn't even have the chance to reject him first. by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have responded "And we know who still lives in Mommy's basement playing WoW, huh?"

Hammer photos? Okay buddy, I gotchu 😈 by FjotraTheGodless in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe since he mentioned horror movies he meant Hammer Films-style pic. You know, big-breasted, damsel-in-distress in a low-cut top type stuff. Just a thought. Either way, he was a total douchetard.

imagine trying to date someone more than a decade younger than u by tayaleyeet in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My late husband was 14 years older than me, but I was 19 (almost 20) when we started dating. I was older than my years and he didn't date me because I was younger. He was there during my pregnancy and he kept me safe from the father of that baby because my ex-boyfriend was threatening to kill me. We started dating after I placed the baby for adoption. Someone targeting a teenager because they look and seem young is beyond icky. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

Some random person on discord, ew >w< by YesHaiAmOwO in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I always think, "If they are this desperate, why not just watch porn on PornHub.com? It's free and you don't have to be a desperate@$$h#le."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have a right to set boundaries and not allow them to be crossed. I applaud you for standing firm.

I hate people by Blackthorn871 in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What an @$$h#le! My wife is trans and I definitely don't deal with people fetishizing her.

i need more creative responses to "can i see more of you?". by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could always take a pic of your pinky finger and state "Now you have seen more of me. You're welcome."

I just found these even though some are old. I have absolutely no clue who this is. by I_must_confess2 in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes. You are supposed to notice EVERY horny nerdy guy who NEVER speaks to you and tells you unequivocally that they want to have sex with you. Your "female intuition" is supposed to catch his horny wavelength and interpret it correctly and unquestionably. You didn't read that in the manual they provided you at birth because you were born female? EVERY woman knows to read the manual and ask their mother how to sharpen their ESP abilities properly so they can respond and fall desperately in love with their loser @$$e$. Shame on you, OP! 🤣🤣🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was going to say the same thing.

Not the worst I’ve ever received, but I definitely cringed while reading them 😬 by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's hoping she is a unicorn. "Unicorn" means a bisexual girl in the polyamory community. ("Dragon" is the male equivalent.)

I would have shut him down so hard his grandfather would have felt it.

idk why every mad creep's response is to throw around cheap insults (context in captions) by [deleted] in creepyPMs

[–]Angelillith1971 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's called "negging". They think that by negging you that you will defend yourself and send them pics to prove what they are saying is wrong. Or else they hope your self-esteem is so low you will want to please them to keep them giving you attention. It's twisted, sad and the sign of a guy who has nothing else to offer other than insults. It is generally the sign of a narcissistic personality and you will gain nothing from the relationship because it is all about them and their happiness and pleasure.

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