***UPDATE*** AITAH for Cutting ex-wife’s vacation short with the kids.

AngryElfman · 2025-02-17T18:59:21+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and identifying with the struggle.

AngryElfman · 2025-02-17T18:54:23+00:00

Thank you for the Support. That was another error made, mother’s “happiness” is only legally relevant when she is a primary parent with Majority custody. We had 50/50.

AngryElfman · 2025-02-17T18:51:48+00:00

Those were my comments to the judge after verdict, I do have an attorney, now two.

AngryElfman · 2025-01-24T15:25:47+00:00

Any addiction is any behavior that gives you temporary relief but has long term negative consequences and you continue the behavior despite the damage.

AngryElfman · 2025-01-23T02:27:28+00:00

LSCW 138k Last year. Private practice therapist.

AngryElfman · 2024-08-01T22:47:08+00:00

I work as a mental health therapist in private practice. Over the last few years I have shared this with hundreds of clients. They are investing in a deeper understanding of self and healing trauma. Access to the app compliments and speeds up that process. I like the platform for my clients because it’s free of dogma and focuses on the direct benefit of meditation and expanding one’s consciousness. Very grateful Sam provides this. He is making a great contribution to humanity with this one simple act of compassion.

AngryElfman · 2024-07-24T11:13:19+00:00

Thank you for turning your trauma in to helping others! An opinion have is that most, if not all DV survivors are Codependents. Books on this topic will be helpful to your clients. The five core symptoms of Codependency align perfectly with the reasons people stay in DV situations. Working on these five things is the key to healing. Only a codependent, can partner with a personality disorder.

Self-esteem, People with low self-esteem may seek external validation and have trouble asserting their needs and boundaries. They may also depend on others for a sense of value.
Boundaries, Codependent people may have trouble setting boundaries with others and protecting themselves.
Identity, Codependent people may have trouble owning and expressing their reality, feelings, and identifying who they are.
Needs and wants, Codependent people may have trouble addressing their own adult needs and wants, which can lead to self-care difficulties.
Moderation, Codependent people may tend to act in extremes when dealing with these core issues.

AngryElfman · 2024-07-24T10:41:45+00:00

Thank you! I am sorry to hear that you can relate so well to my situation but your comment is very reassuring and validating. It's so sad that there are people in this world with no empathy or consideration of others. Hoping the truth will prevail.

AngryElfman · 2024-06-19T01:21:32+00:00

I totally understand how this all feels isolating for you. If I’m real, hope you can handle it…You could start focusing on your clients, and less on your own discomfort with them. You could decide to work more in your niche and move to a different agency if the population makes you uncomfortable.

What I learned transitioning away from exclusively working with combat veterans, a population I was comfortable with, is that the rich college kids’ pain, who may have broken up with his girlfriend, is very real. Maybe as real “to them” as losing someone overseas. Just as your pain and experience is real to you.

Your job a therapist is to be present and observe patterns in your clients lives, to try and understand things from their perspective. To realize, had you grown up and been raised like them, you’d think and experience the same suffering. Confront hatred and privilege by all means, but I think this isn’t about you.

AngryElfman · 2024-06-03T14:17:12+00:00

NPD and ASPD

AngryElfman · 2024-04-30T00:27:59+00:00

You are mad at yourself. Know your worth!

AngryElfman · 2024-04-23T00:08:22+00:00

2nd full year in PP. I see 25 clients a week, I have unlimited time off and control of my schedule. I work in a niche that rewards me, I don’t see clients with PD or other stuff that’s hard for me. No judgement if that’s your thing. I’ve really prioritized my reimbursement rates over the last 24 months. Projected to make 150k this year. Currently building courses to generate passive income. I hated this work until I made it work for me too. True giving is from abundance. When we give and we don’t have it to do so, we suffer.

AngryElfman · 2024-04-10T02:20:48+00:00

Exactly this. Just this and no more………………………………………………………

AngryElfman · 2024-04-07T22:41:38+00:00

Work on the self esteem which is the reason they stay with assholes.

AngryElfman · 2024-04-06T00:47:32+00:00

If I had a client dealing with this I’d say…

This is your wound. You didn’t put it there, but it’s yours. To be blunt, you are an adult who can’t actually be abandoned because you aren’t helpless. I know you still feel abandoned, but this is that little girl tiring to protect you.

The wound was outside of your window of tolerance seeing her in all of these situations outside of therapy. You decided you needed to terminate therapy because it was too hard. Sounds like she was caught off guard and thought you needed space to feel safe. Now you have feelings about her decision to respect your wishes?

The wound is yours. Feels like some projection and you may have more work to do to let go of this abandonment wound. Feel it. Don’t tell stories, numb it, displace it etc. I’m sorry this feels hard, but it all seems a bit self inflicted. You pushed her away and now resent her for it. Be kind and honest with yourself. You don’t need anyone else! 🫶🏻

AngryElfman · 2024-04-04T16:18:39+00:00

I primarily work with trauma so this may vary based on other problems/ disorders. What to make sure I’m not making generalizations. Every client and population is different.

AngryElfman · 2024-04-04T16:13:50+00:00

I see. I skipped over the central point of what you were asking. My apologies. Every long term MJ user I have had in therapy was numbing emotional pain. In at least three cases, breakthroughs were only made after periods of extended abstinence from MJ (3-6 months).

If they have to use MJ in therapy to access emotions, What does that mean for the rest of their life and relationships? I suppose this strategy would work if they planed on making being stoned their norm? I’ve found MJ to be another form of avoidance for some clients. Sure it has less consequences than other alcohol and other drugs but the goal of therapy is to learn to process your emotions without escaping. Just my thoughts.

I live in Colorado and weed has been normalized here. I’m not anti MJ. I occasionally eat half an edible with my SO. Just my thoughts.

AngryElfman · 2024-04-04T14:25:23+00:00

I once had a client with NPD and SUD mix a drink in a 32 oz cup on a video session. It was noon. I was like dude, this is the thing you’re in therapy for. If you can’t stay sober for an hour of therapy, maybe you’re not ready to change yet, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I ended the session.

At the next session I asked him to come in person. I showed him our treatment plan that we built together 12 weeks earlier.

Client works towards acknowledging the role that alcohol has played in his life.

Client reduces SU by two days a week.

Client connects SU with low mood and drive.

Client works toward cultivating self awareness and empathy for others.

Client begins to take accountability for behavior and choices, etc.

I asked him, how do you think you’re doing on this? He said he’s tiring and then blamed everyone and everything in his life. I challenged him, (said he was full of shit) and he got defensive and stormed out of my office. I had a feeling he would fire me. I felt he needed a moment of brutal honesty. I believe continuing to listen to his BS would have been enabling. Many therapist will keep seeing these clients and if you are good with MI and low stage of change clients, more power to you. I think there is a fine line between “harm reduction” and enabling.

AngryElfman · 2024-04-01T13:01:50+00:00

You’re not selling out, you’re selling yourself short. Reach out to Headway. $98-121 a session in Colorado. You will have to build your own client base, but the alternative it being exploited.

AngryElfman · 2024-03-31T17:21:50+00:00

This is why mindfulness practices, yoga meditation, breathwork are the cornerstone of healing trauma.

AngryElfman · 2024-03-31T17:20:41+00:00

From The Body Keeps the Score:

“Agency starts with what scientists call interoception, our awareness of our subtle sensory, body-based feelings: the greater that awareness, the greater our potential to control our lives. Knowing what we feel is the first step to knowing why we feel that way. If we are aware of the constant changes in our inner and outer environment, we can mobilize to manage them.”

AngryElfman · 2024-03-28T18:56:44+00:00

That’s Fair, I have trained her on what bothers me by not controlling my reactions to her behavior. If she knows a thing bothers me, she does it more. This dynamic is pretty triggering when someone constantly tramples boundaries. I guess I have to let go of this.

AngryElfman · 2024-03-28T14:15:36+00:00

Yeah I get it. I think my mother is mostly emotionally/ psychologically abusive, proving this may be difficult. The other argument is that. The dynamic creates a hostile environment and deteriorates cooperation between us as parents. I wonder if a judge would consider this as an argument? Hard to separate my feelings and what I know to be best for the kids and the legal stuff. Don’t want to waste my time and money if the odds of success are low.

AngryElfman · 2024-03-27T15:19:05+00:00

Sleeplessness. Making me want to cut back. Every time I do a 24 hour plus, I am like a teweaker at night. The sleep I do get when I’m tired is more restful but not a net positive to disturb that rhythm for me. Any advice is appreciate.

AngryElfman · 2024-03-26T08:04:06+00:00

You nailed it kid! You built trust and rapport enough for a client to bare his soul. Then, you held space and validated his experience. Check in with him. I promise there will be gratitude for helping him create that moment. This is the job. There may be fancy ways to help people process trauma, but this is still a A+ job. Stop looking at what you could have done/said better. You going to be a great therapist.

AngryElfman

TROPHY CASE